New Year’s Deep Thought
If you had a rough year, just remember: Tomorrow eats today and poops out yesterday. Thanks to everyone for making it less rough for us. Happy New Year! -Charlie & Andy
My Kid Just Said… #14
[Christmas morning] “Whu’s dat? A pwesent? Fo MEEE??? Whu’s in it?” [1 minute later] “I can’t open da wapping. It keeps wipping. Oh WOOK! TWAINS!!!” [.0001 seconds later] “I wead da ‘stwuctions and you buiwd it, okay, Daddy?” [100 minutes or so later] “It’s not wook wight, Daddy. Hewe ya go. You can have da […]
Pac-Man Christmas Wishes
May your holidays be loaded with power pellets, bouncing fruit and joy…sticks? Nom nom nom, Charlie & Andy ““ Facebook Arcade Game? Imagine what a quarter-gobbling black hole Facebook would be if it were. Instructional Diagrams Learning, minus all the learning, but plus all the fun.
My Wife Just Said… #91
“I did one of those purchases. Where it turns out it’s the wrong thing but I just can’t bring myself to tell them so I buy it anyway. So yeah. It was a Christmas album. And yeah, I’ll be returning it later.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
The Age Guessing Wheel of Misfortune
Generally speaking, women don’t tend to be hardcore fans of the word “old,” or even “older.” So, to play it safe, I’ll avoid using the words at all here. Also, my wife reads my posts and to be honest I hate being responsible for making her cry. I’m also pretty partial to my testicles remaining […]
Christmas Tree Decorating by Child Age
Our lives go through a lot of transformations when we have kids. Body, mind and soul. And home. And car. And bank account. You either know this already, or can easily imagine. In the beginning, Baby’s First Christmas can launch holiday excitement into the psychotisphere. “Extra efforts” aren’t made, “extreme measures” are taken. New parents […]
My Wife Just Said… #89
“Oh! Quickscratchmyback! Left! Down! No UP! THERE!!! YES!!! Kill! Torture! Mame! Destroy! Ahhhhhhhhhh. Thanks.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
How to Raise a Hobbit
I’ve written this brief How-To guide for my fellow fanatics, who have or plan to have kids, to raise their human children as hobbits. Why, you ask? I loved The Hobbit before I even read it. It was like I was born under the enchantment of its magical spell. Reading it in my teens only […]
The 3 Ps of Parenting
Nothing can prepare you. Nothing! Just like war, no matter what you read or watch, or how many in-the-trenches stories you hear from gray-faced veteran parents, nothing“”NOTHING!!!””can prepare you for the amount of pee, puke and poop that will be unleashed upon you once your baby arrives. The 3 Ps of Parenting. Mothers may even […]
My Wife Just Said… #87
“I’ve never bobbed for apples. All for the best… I’d probably drown.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
