Part Deuce! Types of Diaper Loads
[ click the image to enlarge ] Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Of course, we’re going to do an Instructional Diagram about poop before the biggest eating holiday on Earth. We’re dads. Which means we’re men who are in the possession of babies. Do the math. It all equals poop jokes. We always knew […]
Shaving without Scaring the Kids
A major change to your hair, head or facial, is one of the fastest, most dramatic alterations to the way you look. Especially when you’ve had it a certain way for a long time and then toss a high-yield grenade of change at it. It can be very startling for others, especially your kids. So, […]
Godzilla vs. Baby
[ click the image to enlarge ] Consider this a crash course in emergency preparedness for expectant parents, or a badge of acknowledgement for those parents who’ve already made it through. Also, if there does actually happen to be an attack on your city from a giant monster born of atomic testing, know that […]
The (Secret) Front-Middle Pocket
It’s the secret that everyone knows about. It doesn’t really have an official name because it isn’t spoken of, but if it were given a name it might be humorously called “the hand holster,” “pouch o’ grapes” or the “family jewel vault.” I like to call it simply and plainly the “front-middle pocket” or FMP. […]
Bad Product Idea #5: Tranquoo Child Anti-Wakefulness System
[ click the image to enlarge ] There is nothing more precious, more beautiful, than the image of your child in a deep, restful, rosy-cheeked slumber. But that preciousness and beauty is multiplied by 10,000 when it follows the utter, sanity-testing misery of your child screaming, flailing and refusing to go to sleep for an […]
Baby Sleep Positions: “H Is for Hell”
Every parent knows this letter. Fears it! It’s the H. Some may say it stands for “horrible” but don’t listen to them, they’re just whitewashing it. It stands for Hell. And it’s the kind of night you’re both going to have. This was one of the first “baby in bed” sleep positions we noted […]
Potty FAILing (A True Story)
We’re in the process of sorta, kinda, not really potty training Lucas right now (2 years old). We got him a potty seat a few months back, but he started standing inside the thing. We put it away when we thought of him learning to poop and pee in it while still in the habit […]
What Would I Do Without Her?
I’m home alone. I have been for days. Lizzie and the kids are off visiting relatives. Don’t close window! I’m not going to put on after-shave, spank my face with both hands and squawk into a mirror. ♫ Love is in the air! ♫ It’s cool. I’m good. No matter where I go in the […]
“Disposable” Before & After a Baby
Words have a habit of taking on different meanings and associations from different circumstances or points of view. Becoming a parent isn’t just a change, it’s massive reconstructive surgery for your life. “Disposable” is just one of the words with multiple definitions and associations that may undergo a shift. “Monitor” may once have had something […]
Baby Sleep Positions: “Booby Trap”
I occassionally use the idol swap scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark as a metaphor when talking about needing to cleverly replace or switch something so that no bad effects occur, but I just realized… it didn’t actually work out so well for Indie. Ha ha! Coming back from the bathroom, you cautiously […]
