“Huh?” you say? Yes, that is indeed a wise question. I will explain. If you wished to become good at something””great at something””like parenting, wouldn’t you want to know what a ninja had to say about it? They weren’t just born ninjas! They became masters of disciplined study and training long before they even got […]
[Texted ] “So you still love me with my saggier boobies? Too bad they don’t have a saggy boobs emoticon. he he 😕 “ -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
WARNING: Some of this is naughty and crude “” but along with being romantic and amazing, sex can be naughty and crude. If you doubt that, have your lover hold a mirror up so you can see your own face the next time you have an orgasm. So, please don’t get all faint-of-heart or […]
Subscribe to our YouTube channel: CLICK HERE I wasn’t familiar with most of the films up for Academy Awards this year, so when we watched it as a family, the most entertaining thing about it was watching my 2.5yo, Lucas, spaz out to it all. This post may seem like it comes to you a […]
[ click the image to enlarge ] If this was a real product, it wouldn’t just be for the recently-parented couple with a wagon-wheel coffee table and more pairs of boots than shoes (though it’d be mandatory for those). The Baby Hjölster infant holster carrier would be perfect for anyone who was a little bit […]
Maybe if you play “La la la la! This is the song!” backwards, you’ll hear some sinister secret message. Maybe not. For some, it’s sinister all by itself, played normally. Whatever your feelings about Elmo are, you have to admit he looks pretty creepy here. Which funny enough raises a legitimate question… Who are you […]
“Oh please already! Put your penis AWAY!” [to 2yo Lucas, not to her husband, Andy] -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
Why didn’t I call this one Dad Sign Language? Since it’s so obviously a necessary skill for a man who has sleeping kids in his life: to say things silently. The thing is, I realized that this applies to men long before they procreate. Understanding this specialized communication method* should be useful to women. Trying […]
Cartoons are loaded with animals. They’re also loaded with lies! It’s true. Uh… I mean it’s true about the lying part, that there are lies. Anyway! Kids’ books, animated shows, toys, breakfast cereal boxes, restaurant activity mats, you name it, they are all filled with breathtaking inaccuracies about the Wild Kingdom. “So what,” right? We […]
Years ago I bought a leather executive chair that was blonde-colored. Within a week, Cody (at age 6!) wrote Xuck on it (he missed the top line in the F). He used permanent marker and scrawled it in large letters on the broad expanse of the chair’s back. Amid feeling super bummed and being totally […]
Click below to Like my majestic Facebook page
