WARNING: Don’t be mad at me. I was told by very persistent sex-deprived women to post this for them! Women also need to drop a clue to their men that they’re in the mood for love. The washing machine set to a feverish spin cycle can only see a girl so far, and can […]
Ninjas have long known that the skill of being able to kill someone with one arm tied behind their back was a worthy achievement. For parents, this level of skill can become useful in the task of keeping someone ALIVE with an arm tied behind your back. Most people don’t realize that the ancient art […]
“Stop dancing. I love this song and you actually just punched my hand.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
[ click the image to enlarge ] Baby fingernails are so sharp they make razor blades seem like warm gummy bears in comparison. If you’ve got kids, you’ve probably experienced the sudden sizzling pain of your baby’s nails accidentally giving you inexpert plastic surgery. You’ve probably heard this phrase before, “Ooooo. What happened to your […]
Babies smell like fairies and edible flowers. Show me the person who figures out how to bottle the magical spell of baby-scent and I’ll show you someone who will soon be rich enough to buy an island, just to store fan mail. It’s like your nose died and went to heaven. Unfortunately, just like a […]
“What did you do to make me worry, you ask? You don’t need to do anything, my head does it all for you.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
WARNING: The suggestions in this series are not recommended for couples with any special medical conditions or for anyone without a sense of humor. Please also note that if you try any of these, in addition to encouraging sex, it may also result in the end of your relationship, marriage or life. Here we go […]
When you’re making love it’s like you’re soaring through the sky on the wings of passion. But when your little one opens the door on your passionate flight, in about .00372 seconds, it’s like all the air has been sucked out of the room and you’ve made an emergency nosedive into a solid glacier. If […]
Early along in the amazing magical spell I like to call my marriage to Lizzie, I walked into our bedroom and my eyes went very wide, like O_O type of wide, to take in all the horror at once, as if ripping a band-aid off my mind. So it might hurt less. My lovely wife […]
Ninjas aren’t born ninjas, that’s true… Or is it? Think about it. Babies are apparently born with various ninja characteristics. How many times have you muttered to yourself, totally mystified, “How the heck?” as you pulled something out of your little one’s hand that could not possibly have been reached? Or let out a yelp […]
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