[Sigh] “I feel so relaxed. Like I just peed.” [Everyone bursts out laughing] “What!?! It makes you feel relaxed!” -Max (2010, 10 years old) Relaxation Level: Max. We all voiced our agreement by laughing even harder. He was right! It’s true. It’s not something you talk about over tea and crumpets. Or ever really. Still, […]
“Oh! That’s why you were being a jerk. Yoooou haven’t had your cooooffeeee yet!” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
This is completely true and unaltered and unbelievable. And yet, totally believable. One day a friend of mine went insane and decided to clean up the apocalypse of his fourteen-year-old boy’s room. Amid all the aftermath, he discovered something amazing. And since he’s the type of guy who covers this his son’s toilet bowl opening […]
I found something. A few days ago I was rifling through some rarely-opened filing cabinets, looking for something; something boring enough that I forgot about it the second I opened up a folder that was bloated with odd, crinkled contents. Memories beamed out at me. Cards from my kids in brightly-colored construction paper, saved scribbles […]
There are a ton of simple, everyday things we just have to pick up on our own. Learning by trial and error or mimicking someone else can be tricky. And result in us doing really stupid things. Even with tickling. For parents of ticklish kids, the act of tickling can be a laughter-filled method of […]
“It’s not that I’m not happy. It’s just that I’d be eeeeeven happier with another baby!” -Elizabeth
This is a bee jay. No, folks, it isn’t actually a real species of bird. I created it for you! To begin illustrating a point, and to possibly offer a much-needed way out for any unfortunate parent who’s kid has said something like this: “Whu’s a bee jay wook wike? Daddy must wuvs dem. He […]
Whether you chuckle or upchuck a little when your little one accidentally swears because of mispronunciation, it’s okay, sheet happens. Rest assured! It’s just part of learning to talk. But now, with the Peter Pottymouth Proper Pronunciation Wheel, you can put rocket boosters on the unfortunately foul-mouthed part of the learning process. Grandma’s poor heart […]
Let’s put on a cutey pageant. The contestants will all be animals, competing against their baby selves. Not puppies and kittens though! Science is already working on harnessing the power of their cuteness as a renewable energy source, so it’s a foregone conclusion that they’re filthy stinking cute. We’ll look at more unsual animals for […]
Kids and adults differ on a lot of points. The way they each look at things can be so different that sometimes it defies logic that adults were ever kids themselves. At what point does a penny become just a lame fake-out for a dime when searching your pockets for something to feed a parking […]
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