Parent Safety: Thanksgiving InnuenDON’TS
When you haven’t eaten in a while, you get hungry. When “a while” is actually the length of time things need to fossilize, you starve! You can start smelling delicious phantom whiffs, or hear something you could have sworn was bacon joyously sizzling a second ago. It’s the same with sex. Except for the sizzling […]
Don’t Bring Dirty Looks to a Machete Fight
How many looks of disgust or ohmahgosh rolls of the eyes do you think this mom gets breastfeeding in public? Bingo! Not many. At least not from people with a full set of arms in their collection. You could argue that it’s because she’s a part of a primitive society and that they’re all simply […]
My Wife Just Said… #85
“Shhhhhhh! No no. I’m trying to eavesdrop on the next table’s conversation.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
Stuffed Animal Assassin, Dragon Baby
Sometimes… when parents gaze lovingly at their child, they see themselves, a perfect combination of two separate people in one, giggling forward into the future for them. Other times… they see an ex-assassin seeking revenge, one-by-one, on the group of killer stuffed animals that betrayed… Erm… Okay. Maybe that never happens. UNTIL NOW! I bow […]
He never let go of my thumb…
The Noobie He’s only three years old. He’d never been trick-or-treating. So, it was excusable that Lucas was supremely deficient in the Clue Department when it came to Halloween. When I asked him what he was going to be, he put on his low, gruff serious voice and laughed, saying, “Ho ho nooooo, Daddy!” as […]
Charlie & Andy Become Chandy & Arlie
We use up all of our creative juices on our website, so the best we could come up with was to go as each other for Halloween this year. Maybe this is like some kind of weird version of a kid “becoming their parents,” except we’re becoming our parenting website partner. Or something. That seems […]
My Wife Just Said… #83
“I know I’m not right all the time. But sometimes I am. Like 90% of the time.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
The Anatomy of Make Believe (Illustrated)
Ah, the crazy, goofy things we come up with to entertain our offspring and ourselves! They’re wonderful, but when you actually think about almost any nursery rhyme, you want to tilt your head and let out a slow, “Huuuuhhhh?” And adding hand or foot make-believe play, even though it can be delightful, doesn’t make them […]
Thank you public toilet designer…
Dear public toilet designer, Thank you for developing a toilet that, when flushed, instantly sounds like a jet breaking the sound barrier. Thank you for adding a year to potty training. Thank you for scaring a year off my kid’s life. Thank you for teaching my kid that all of my reassurances that “it’s safe” […]
Whorlloween Costume Epic Battles
Some people love ’em. Some people hate ’em. I’m talking about all the hyper sexy costumes at seasonal Halloween pop-up stores and costume shops. Remember when it was witches and fairies and princesses? One thing’s for sure, we’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto. So, I’ve decided to put together a showdown! Vote for the sexiest, […]
