The DON’Ts of Waiting on Tables of Families
There is an art to waiting tables. It is a dying art. It’s certainly a really a hard job, but there are tricks to it. To make it not be so awful. Everyone knows it must be a gruesome task to wait on tables that contain kids, but I’m a parent, so I’m not writing […]
How to Play Any Game with a Kid (Flowchart)
You sit there sweating bullets. You’re not worried you’ll lose, maybe there’s a hint of worry you’ll accidentally win. You’re just trying to keep up, playing a game with this young ball of spin-cycle lightning we commonly refer to as a kid. Whether it’s your kid or not is beside the point. It’s a KID! […]
Valentine’s Day Rejects (Caption Party)
Oh Valentine’s Day. It’s not just single people that can look at the middle of the month of February as the butthole of the calendar. It can all get to be a bit too much, even for people who have someone special. The commercialization of peer-pressurized romance can get on anyone’s nerves. There’s a snarky, […]
A Guide to Extreme Flu Preparedness & Response for Families
Being sick sucks. However, it is the Seventh Circle of Suck when you have kids, or your kids are sick, or it’s an all out family-demic. Good news is: there are steps you can take. Bad news is: I didn’t include any of the helpful ones you should take to prevent or deal with sickness […]
I Turn My Head for Just One Week
I’ll never forgive myself. Or the Universe. I was gone for a week. Just one week! I’m in his room playing and he just said “those” instead of “dozes.” One Day Earlier Lugging my bags to the curb, I met my family with a mountain range of a smile set against the gray sky of […]
My Kid Just Said… #18
“NO, DADDY! You NOT take a picture of me aaaaaany more!” -Lucas (2013, 3.5 years old) There is camera shyness, and then there’s ohpleasestopit-ness about being photographed or videoed. Some of us can really can be obnoxious Mama- and Papa-razzi with our kids. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with occasionally staging things so a […]
Kids and Koalas
You had a baby. Yay! You should realize that kids tend to grow up and get “less cute” to “outright ugly” from time to time. At first, the little one can turn your heart into something similar to what a microwave can turn a stick of butter into in 13.3 seconds. This may be by […]
My Wife Just Raged… #96
“Ugh! My hatred for my phone right now outweighs my hatred of the Taliban!” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
What Your Pizza Toppings Can Say About You (Illustrated)
Science has proven that you aren’t actually “what you eat,” at least not literally. But what you do eat CAN say a lot about you. This is so true for pizza. Maybe pizza toppings won’t tell you who to marry or who to hire for your taxes, but that’s what Magic 8-Balls are for, right? […]
Unicorn Poop or How I Fell in Love with the Daughter I Never Had
I’m not much of a “Guy” or “Man” in the senses used in the advice given in the movie Say Anything: “Don’t be a guy, be a man.” Whichever stereotype coloring book you’re using, most of my colors wind up outside the lines. But I do have a penis and three boys to prove it, […]
