Ninja Parent Lessons: The Foot Python
Suiting up your little one is a tough challenge, even for ninjas. Especially socks. Those legs are tiny, but they’re fast and don’t like to stay still for lengths of time greater than it takes to blink. This cannot be avoided, so you must be clever and fast. As the ancient proverb says: the wise […]
Daddy Vader Says… Displeased
What a kid and Imperial staff aboard the Death Star have in common is lots. Sometimes it seems ridiculously generous to use the “progress” for the chore or activity being performed. If something is worth asking to be done over and over and over again, it’s worth doing right. Right? The first time. Not after […]
“Halloween (ZOMBIE) Special!!!” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old
It’s all too horrifically true. Zombie vs. Baby: An Examination of Attributes Subscribe to ConvosWith2YrOld to follow the series. (Liking, favoriting and commenting helps videos on YouTube, so go nuts.) So basically, when you’ve got a baby, everyday is Halloween! Or an episode of The Walking Dead. One or the other take your pick. […]
A Little Girl’s Book of Poshens
Everyone knows kids look at the world through the magical lens of youth, but some of them document what they see. As a kid I was a poshen maker, too, so I was able to withstand the adorableness unharmed when a friend of mine posted pictures of her 6yo daughter’s book of potions…ehem “Poshens”. I […]
My Wife Just Said… #131
“We need to develop a hand signal that says: it’s not you, I’m just on my period.” -Elizabeth Yes please! We can take hand jive classes if necessary! Oh and I feel your pain! In a “I totally don’t actually feel your pain because I’m a guy and don’t menstruate” kind of way. Though, […]
“The Princess Dolls” : Convos With My 3 Year Old
Kids play pretend all the time. A lot of them continue to do so into adulthood. For instance, the concept of “privacy for parents” is one of the craziest mythological fantasies ever dreamt up. Practically crazy talk. Subscribe to ConvosWith2YrOld to follow the series. (Liking, favoriting and commenting helps videos on YouTube, so go nuts.) […]
The History of Wiping (Illustrated, but not FULLY)
Disclosure: This post is brought to you by the masters of personal cleansing comfort, Cottonelle. To see how Cottonelle Toilet Paper and Cottonelle Flushable Cleansing Cloths can practically change the destiny of your bum, click here. By the time we begin to have kids, we’ve been pretty thoroughly acquainted with the act of “tidying […]
Internet Pictures – Scrabble Scribble #3
The Internet is like a giant pool. Unfortunately, embarrassing pictures can be the online version of a really grody “warm spot.” Worse yet, you really can’t take pee out of a pool. Some pictures of you can be as thumb-suckingly bad as yearbook photos, except nowadays they can happen every week or day or […]
A Guide to Being Tricky or Treaty
This goes against the code at howtobeadad.com: never provide useful or important information, least of all instructions on how to do something. Correctly. So I’ve added in how to do be a total box of chocolate-covered douche-peanuts as well, to even things out. Also, I figure since this isn’t exactly a major parenting or world […]
Parenterms: “Awkwurchase”
Some people experience buyers remorse as they are buying something. Sucked into the inescapable gravitational pull of the purchasing process, maybe they feel they’ll look like a moron or worse, a poor person, abandoning items in front of store clerks and their fellow shoppers. Always watching. Always judging. “Ooooooo you grabbed a pack of size […]
