My Wife Just Said… #141
“My hands are fah-reeeeezing! Oh wow. Your balls are so warm!!! Don’t jump away! Oh please let me warm my hands on your balls?” -Elizabeth Um. Okay so yeah… WOW! That’ll take you from tired to light-speed wakefulness like nothing else! Even if you’re in a coma. Or dead. Notes to self: 1) never […]
Parentopoly, The Give ‘n’ Give ‘n’ Give Game
It’s likely you’ve played Monopoly before (even if you’ve never finished it), since statistically about 11 out 10 households have had the board game given as a gift one year or another. Parenting can truly seem like a game, too. How many times do you think one parent has said, “Go, it’s your turn!” to […]
My Kid Just Said… #36
“Wisten wisten. Okay. I have an agweement wiv you. Wisten. If I eat one two bites and you build all my toys den we can wets pway and I get a cookie. Okay? Okay!” [Walks away] -Lucas (2013, 4.5 years old) He sounded like a big league negotiator. There was no room for argument […]
♫ Coming to Town, Yoda Claus Is ♫
Brilliance created by: Ralph McQuarrie, who was a visionary conceptual designer and futurist responsible for the look of the original Star Wars trilogy. ♫ Beware, you must be Sad, you must not be Angry, you must not be Tell you why, I will Coming to town, Yoda Claus is Coming to town, […]
My Wife Just Said… #139
“What am I making for dinner tonight? Reservations.” -Elizabeth When a single day feels like a week, it’s like you’ve practically earned the right to not cook six times over, right? In these cases, it’s really just best for everyone’s health if the chef’s special for dinner is takeout or reservations at a restaurant. […]
“The Slide” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old
Whether it’s a slide, a pool, a tricycle or a first-ever taste of ice cream, sometimes kids refuse things that they’ll later spend the next few years of their lives begging us for incessantly. Watch this wonderfully touching scenario that will seem oh so very familiar. (Except for the kid being an unshaven, fully-grown man […]
How to Give Gifts that Are Actually for You
Every holiday season, we shop for our kids, our family and our friends, but let’s admit it, we’re pretty frigging interested in what we might get. There are so many rad things! Gotta look out for number one, even if we’re not supposed to say that. Hmmmm… Ah ha! What if there were a way […]
Baby Sleep Positions: “Roll-On Deodorant”
[ click the image to enlarge ] Even non-parents who hold babies like they were ticking bombs will admit that the little wiggly jigglies smell like fresh-baked rainbows. But any fragrance can be made into a funk-grance with the wrong additives. I think the poet Keats once wrote, “Even a flower’s sweetest whiff wilts in […]
Parent Service Announcement: Clowns
Most everyone is familiar with Public Service Announcements (PSAs). Back in the ’50s they taught useful things like ducking down and covering your head with your arms to ensure survival from an atomic blast, or that women are a distracting and deadly menace to the workplace… um… okay, those were probably horrifically misleading, but later […]
Amazing Depeche Mode Cover from a Dad and His Kids
I cannot even believe this. This is amazing. A kazoo even? My God. Even if you’re not a fan of or familiar with Depeche Mode’s Everything Counts, it’s okay. This is sung in the international language of Rad, in the key of WEEEEEEEEE. If your brain doesn’t melt, your heart will. Or both. If neither […]
