3-Year-Old Ninja Caught on Video
When I was about ten, I created a home-made pair of nunchucks. I sawed a broomstick into two short kid-ninja-sized handles and then, using screws, attached them together with a short chain. After about five minutes of practicing, I was certain that the authentic Japanese word nunchaku must have been defined as “self-inflicted head trauma.” […]
Teddy Bear – Scrabble Scribble #5
It took a simple doozy from my four-year-old the other day to point out that I’ve fully operated under the belief that teddy bears are always dudes for as long as I can remember. I suppose that all stuffed animals are male unless they’ve got a bow, long eyelashes or syrupy shapes embroidered all […]
Kids Are So Gullible
Parents trick their kids from time to time (or all the time), for various reasons. It’s so easy in the early years, they’ll believe anything, really. So much so, it’d really be an oversight for a parent to not deceive their kid somehow. There’re all kinds of ways we pull the wool blankie over their […]
My Kid Just Said… #40
“Soooo… how was the wedding?” [confused looks] “…Yours and Mommy’s.” -Lucas (2013, 4.5 years old) It just sort of took us by surprise because it came completely out of nowhere. We both riffled through our crappy parent memories for what wedding he could be talking about. Once he clarified, we both shared a long, […]
My Wife Just Texted… #151
So it wasn’t my wife who texted me, but I’ll be honest, I actually stared at this for a solid clueless minute before I replied. I guess I was trying to wring some kind of sense out it, like it was some kind of ancient Egyptian scroll of hieroglyphs my wife had written in emojis. […]
Daddy Vader Says… No Escape
Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh…Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh…Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh… Yeah, the breathing is really ominous, sure. But it’s the things Daddy Vader says in between all the robotic huffing and puffing that gets an Imperial officer or a child shaking in their boots. Especially if they’ve just let a rebel ship get away, or because they need to “turn a frown upside down” […]
Types of Parent Heart Conditions
SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING Becoming a parent or experiencing prolonged exposure to babies and children may cause a variety of pleasurable and undesirable heart episodes. Kids don’t make you feel anything you haven’t felt before. Delude yourself all you want, but they just don’t. However, they can act like emotional lenses, sharpening and intensifying […]
We All Start Out the Same
How totally exactly like Ian McKellen does this baby look!?! “Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.” A wonderfully inspirational concept from The Lord of the Rings. I’ve found a lot of people have a difficult time believing something much bigger of themselves, or some facet, at least. Whether […]
Time flies… so fast.
Tempus fugit. It’s a Latin expression that means “time flies.” I first heard this expression from my dad, who is Yale-graduate-level learned. I was a just a teen, so I had to either assume he’d freakishly sneezed or ask him what it meant. Tempus has been vigorously fugitting since I was a lad, so Googling […]
Parenterms: “On Purpaccident”
Kids do things. Always. Let’s all admit that the mind of a child isn’t a just blank canvas or a field filled with giggling unicorns. It can be a pretty weird place and result in some pretty disastrous things. At a certain point kids start to get the idea that accountability plays into the some […]
