7 Things That Scared The Hell Out Of Me As A Boy
If you grew up during the 1980s, then you probably were exposed to some crazy stuff. My dad had a bad habit of watching insanely scary stuff around me. I’m definitely more cautious because of it with my kids, but I wonder if everyone had the same insane childhood with television and movies like I did. Can you make it through this walk down (nightmarish) memory lane?
1. Poltergeist:
“The face meltingest, scariest tree and doll combo ever.”
This sort of ruined me. I just heard Mad Men creator, Matthew Weiner, talk about on the Nerdist podcast. He had no idea what the movie was about when he went in. At first, he thought it was a comedy, but then all hell broke loose.
Pretty sure it ruined him like it ruined me.
2. Mr. Mom:
“The scariest washing machine ever.”
Okay, so I may have confused this a little, as a boy, with snippets I saw of “The Shining.” For some reason, my impressionable little mind coupled both Mr. Mom and a certain ax-wielding Jack Nicholson together. Why? Because my subconscious is apparently a practical joker.
I just keep seeing overflowing washing machines and doors being chopped to pieces.
3. Who Framed Roger Rabbit:
“Killing cartoons has never been more enjoyable.”
I saw this in the movie theater while my dad fought with his girlfriend outside. I don’t think he fully appreciated what this movie had to offer. Christopher Lloyd’s quintessential villain was his terrifying. Also, Roger Rabbit’s sexuality was pretty unsettling, too.
4. Thriller:
“Yet another Michael Transformation that unsettled us.”
The zombie portions didn’t scare me as much as Michael’s werewolf transformation. For some reason mutations and transformations really shook me to my core. For the record, I love werewolves more than any other monster.
5. Raiders of the Lost Ark
“It’s face-meltingly good.”
He’s the hero we all wanted to be. He inspired countless students to study archeology, or at the very least become proficient with the bullwhip. But, man oh man, when those Nazi pieces of shit all melted/exploded/got electrocuted, that definitely light my mind on fire. I could barely sleep.
Now, I get to feel like this every day before I’ve had coffee.
6. The Neverending Story
“It’s not the ‘nanu nanu’ kind of Gmork, is it?”
The only thing slightly more terrifying than The Nothing was its enforcer, Gmork. He was rage personified and nearly unstoppable. I remember dreaming that he was somewhere outside my window, crouched in a shadow.
7. Pee-wee’s Big Adventure
“Tell ’em: Large Marge sent you.”
I saved the best/worst for last. If Large Marge didn’t ruin your childhood, you either didn’t see the movie or you blocked it out.
Got any you’d like to add? Post yours here. Share this and ask around, too. It’s conversation starter, that’s for sure. We all have them.
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