How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

When Your Kid Is A Decepticon

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I’m not gonna lie. I cried my ass off in the original Transformers: The Movie. Spoiler alert: When Optimus Prime buys the farm, I couldn’t deal with it. It left me reeling from that moment. The creature I knew to be the leader of the Autobots had died. It was hard. It gave me a […]

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Toddlers Priceless First-Time Reactions to Fireworks (Video)

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I remember being astounded by fireworks as a little kid. I love them, but… well, it wasn’t really a love-hate relationship, it was more of love-terror thing. Now that I’m all grown up with three kids that are well past toddlerhood, I’ve had the chance to see the evolution of their awed reactions as they […]

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My Wife Just Said… #323

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Listen, we’ve been through this before. Threenagers. They’re brutal. Everything that’s hard about raising teenagers compacted into tiny, uncoordinated little bodies bent on hurting themselves. To complicate things, our son is somewhat speech delayed. When he gets angsty, things break down quickly. It’s not easy to navigate. Sometimes we just have to take things day […]

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14 Children’s Book Quotes That Are Better Than Any Motivational Poster

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Sometimes you’re reading the silliest, weirdest story to your kid, and you happen upon a line of text that leaps off the page and hits your mind like a splash of cold water. Adults see a lot of inspirational posters and motivational statements, even mottos and taglines from products in ads are trying to encourage […]

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The Secret To One Of Life’s Biggest Questions

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For centuries, the fields of science, philosophy and kids television programming have been invested in the search for truth. Some questions couldn’t be answered. Some answers simply led to more questions. But one question has plagued ups for nearly thirty years. And it’s time we got the truth… WTF as the slime from Nickelodeon’s shows […]

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My Wife Just Said… #322

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After my wife said this – well, after I was done laughing – I told her she just might have happened upon a billion dollar idea, there. Those Kidz Bop albums (with little kids singing covers of pop music) seem to sell like hot cakes, and I’m pretty sure if there was a “Fart Bop” […]

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Why Be Afraid of the Dentist When You Can Be Terrified

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A lot of people are terrified of going to the dentist. Some eventually outgrow their fear, of course, but it’s safe to say it’s a bit of a pants-peeing experience for kids. Just look at it from their perspective. “Okay, little [kid’s name]. Sit in this strange, slippery chair with the spotlight on it so […]

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What If Real Life Were A Video Game?

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Listen, I like video games as much as the next dad. But I’ve always wanted a life as simple and precise as a video game. Sure, my life can feel like a game; I lose and gain points. I level up occasionally. I find myself facing new worlds of challenge. Now, we are at the […]

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A Wild Baby Attack with a Chocolate Milk Ending

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Here we see dramatic video footage of a mom’s boob being viciously attacked by her ravenous newborn! No, not really! Haha! But her adorable little daughter, Ava, seemed to think so. When she toddles into the hospital room where she caught her mom breastfeeding the hungry new arrival, she didn’t seem to know what to […]

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My Wife Just Said… #321

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When you’re a parent, sometimes milestones come in the form of poop, smiling, throwing up and even your kid’s choice of underwear. Finn has always had the coolest clothes. We wears stuff I wish they had in adult sizes. So when he said he was “done with character underwear” — that one hurt. I mean, […]

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