How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

My Wife just Said… #171

Posted by on July 29th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Okay. Honey! The toilet and I just became best friends. Let’s take it easy on the romance.” -Elizabeth   The flower of romance can bloom suddenly in the rays of spontaneity. Or it can hit a very firmly closed bathroom door. There’s a time and place for everything, and sometimes “the mood” needs to take […]

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Daddy Vader Says… Rank Side of the Force

Posted by on July 25th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Sometimes your baby or child does things that impress you beyond the normal “wow, he squeezed my finger” or “holy crap, she ate the whole thing!” Stuff that’s extraordinary. These achievements can even get you thinking they’re prodigies at something, or what they’ve done is somehow foreshadowing of some specific future for them, some destiny. […]

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Scareded – Scrabble Scribble #10

Posted by on July 23rd, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

  The most innocent things can backfire on parents. There’s really no “winning” with kids. No sure formula. What was delicious today may be the worst thing they’ve ever eaten tomorrow. A lullaby might send them to sleep or to the mad house. Seriously. I laughed at my son’s joke the other day and he […]

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A Guide to Kid Fibs (Illustrated)

Posted by on July 22nd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

The rad people at The Honest Company helped us bring you this post because DUH, honesty is the best policy.   Kids are little lying sacks of giggles. It doesn’t mean they’re evil or you’ve raised them wrong — they seem to learn it automatically, like breathing, apparently. There are all kinds of reasons kids […]

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Play Games… WITH PIZZA!

Posted by on July 18th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  The DiGeniuses at DiGiorno® helped us bring you this post, but the ideas are purely the symptoms of my own hunger and insanity and are intended for entertainment purposes only. Please operate pizza responsibly!   It’s generally agreed that kids shouldn’t play with their food. This probably comes from the fact that kids’ hands […]

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“Coffee Table” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old

Posted by on July 18th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

The stuff kids can get attached to can surprise any parent, and it’ll quickly teach them that it’s best to clean house when the little one’s are away. You see, for kids, there can be a really fine and blurry line between something like a beloved family pet of years and, well, any ol’ inanimate […]

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My Kid Just Said… #51

Posted by on July 16th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“I gonna lay off food for a while.” -Lucas (2014, 5 years old)   Hearing this from my 5-year-old beanpole of a son was a definite “Wait what!?” moment. You see, saying “going to” implies that one isn’t already doing it. Since birth.   – Previous My Kid Just Said What a kid would do […]

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My Wife just Said… #169

Posted by on July 14th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Hey, you wanna? [Winks] I’ve been doing lots of Kegels. So I can be like a ninja down there. Not like grab arrows out of the air…” -Elizabeth   I didn’t know whether to feel afraid or aroused, but in any case it’s clear some ninja skills are sexier than others. – Previous “My Wife […]

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“The Elevator” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old

Posted by on July 10th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Most adults don’t realize that, all grown up, we will never want anything as excruciatingly bad as a child wants to press buttons. Elevator buttons especially! Add two mini humans in one elevator? Welp… No good can come of that. Watch and laugh. You know you want to press the button! Subscribe to ConvosWith2YrOld to […]

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Juicebag – Scrabble Scribble #9

Posted by on July 8th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

  You’re there. Life is happening to you. You respond. And your kid observes attentively. A reckless automobastard cutting you off for no good reason; a ferocious toy attacking your poor unsuspecting toe; a lengthy support call (that was aaaaaaaaaall call and no support) suddenly dropping off. Occasionally, some dirt hits the kid-filter so hard […]

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