How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Dad Uses His Kid as a Human Drum Machine (VIDEO)

Posted by on December 19th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

If rhythm was a language, it’s clear I’d have both a stutter and Tourette’s. I can’t tap out the simplest beat on my steering wheel, let alone my kids. So, this video is super specially especially amazing to me. It’s not okay to beat your kid… unless you’re harmlessly dropping mad beats like this dad. […]

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Robots Will Want Babies Too

Posted by on December 17th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

Let’s face it. Science fiction has done a pretty interstellar job of predicting the future. Computers, smartphones, lasers, 3D printing, space travel, velcro, all fortune-told by sci-fi long long ago in a galaxy, well… right here. Of course we’ll impose our stereotypes and body-image issues onto robots, so they’re not likely to look like a […]

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“Zebras” : Convos With My 4-Year-Old

Posted by on December 17th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Playing with a little kid can turn into a wild goose chase, or zebra chase as the case may be. When searching, parent’s have pretty poor vision when it comes to being able to see where the fictional characters of a toddler mind may be, so you’re completely reliant on them as your guide in […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #191

Posted by on December 15th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

  A classic example of a “teacher” writing to a parent about the vital need for a child to bone up on video games. Look it’s even got two bold exclamation points!! Totally legit. When little kids fake messages from their teacher or from one parent to the other or from an imaginary pony, it’s […]

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“Car Pee Diem” : Convos With My 4-Year-Old

Posted by on December 12th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

The care and management of miniature humans is a tricky kind of magic to master, especially when it comes to their bathroom habits (or entire lack of any habit whatsoever). Car trips can be the ultimate test of one’s parental wizardry, since you’re traveling away from home, in foreign territory, and you’ve got to find […]

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Nostrilizers: Bad Product Idea #17

Posted by on December 11th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  The world has nose plugs, ear plugs and sleep blindfolds for keeping the senses at bay. These are all so negative, though. What of the joys of life? We’ve got binoculars for our eyes, headphones for our ears and seasoning for our tongues, but what of the delights of the nose? Imagine if you […]

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Darkness – Scrabble Scribble #13

Posted by on December 9th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Are you afraid of the dark? Well, maybe you aren’t anymore. Or maybe you are. Maybe it’s only after you watch a pea-soup-splosion like the Exorcist or some nutty mind job like The Ring. That movie had me doing heebie-jeebie leaps onto the bed for a couple months, y’know, in case some broken-nailed hand tried […]

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“Toto” : Convos With My 4-Year-Old

Posted by on December 5th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Meeting new friends can be scary for little kids. Heck, it can be scary for adults! Parents are often called on by their little ones to act as ambassadors of sorts, “wing parents”, making introductions and helping to break the awkward ice. Once they get going though, you’ve served your purpose and it’s time for […]

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Baby Sleep Positions: “The Biohazard”

Posted by on December 3rd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  People with a little baby are never “awake” or “asleep” in the black-and-white senses of the words. Parents exist in the gray area between. The varying degrees of “trying to sleep” and “fighting to stay awake.” You’re always on call. Waiting. Ready to respond. It’s very late. You’re asleep, or wrestling the ninja crocodile […]

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My Wife Just Said… #189

Posted by on December 1st, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Are you okay there with him? Can you look after him while you work?” -Elizabeth   Obviously my answer was, yes. Yes, I could look after him. When you’re doing some of your work from home, or doing the things around the house that sure as hell aren’t going to do themselves, kids never make […]

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