Listen, my wife and I have a funny, and to those on the outside, odd relationship sometimes. We do things that annoy each other on purpose. We sometimes wrestle around in bed. We make sounds or voices that grate on our respective last nerves.

This woman? Well, she’s a saint for putting up with this crap. The least her husband could do is make sure she always has a nerf gun nearby for herself. These sneak attacks of are unmitigated acts of war. If I were his spouse, these aggressions would most definitely be met with retribution. MY REVENGE WOULD BE SWIFT.

What would you do if you were this woman?