It’s over 9000° out in sun-stroked California right now. High heat and dehydration make me pretty brainless. It’s as if I’m sweating out my IQ points. Maybe this will result in my sweat achieving self-awareness; it certainly seems like it’s plotting a rebellion against me. I take comfort in the fact that I’m not also dealing with a monthly visitor like my wife is.

I can’t even imagine the horror of adding menstruation to this infernal equation, so my wife could pretty much get away with buying a timeshare on the moon without my knowledge or going all out and setting the house on fire, and still I’d try to empathize. I would, however, give her seriously dirty looks for arson as a method of mentally snapping because of this ridiculously nutty heat.

Stay cool and stay sane, folks. Because DUH.

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Parenting priories tend to have more Zs than $s.

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