Like two children squirming in front of the principal, my wife and I sat beside each other in front of our accountant’s slab of a desk.
Going over all our papers for filing, he gave us some really good news about a specific point. We looked at each other and chuckled with relief, and I explained that we’d had an argument about it when we were wrestling the Rubik’s Cube of our documents into readiness.
Raising his eyebrows, he looked up from the columns of numbers, and perched his reading glasses low on his nose so his eyes could have a direct, unobstructed connection with ours. He then offered this advice:
“If you’re going to fight with each other… always do it naked.”
We instantly burst out laughing. Not just because our sage, white-haired accountant had uttered this hilarious and naughty suggestion. But also because… we knew it worked!
We filled him in on what had happened a few months ago… (insert flashback waves here)
- We were outside our house. Voices raised, fighting about something. Probably kid related, but it was one of those arguments where you don’t really even remember what started it, and you get to the stage where you both don’t even know what your own point is anymore.
As if I was someone else, I heard myself stabbing my words at my wife, and I thought, “Wow. I’m being suuuuuch a d*ck!” I knew it had to stop. Someone needed to slam on the brakes.
She was about to shout something when she frowned in total confusion. You see, I’d quickly taken my shirt off. Her mouth stayed open wordlessly as I quickly pants myself, standing there Full Monty with my jeans and underwear around my ankles. She yelped and rushed to cover me up, giggling nervously. “What if someone sees you!” she squealed as she body-shielded me. With pretended offense, I said, “Hey! What’re you saying about how I look naked?” as I shimmied my clothes back on, chortling.
Our accountant was most impressed. Needless to say, my insta-nudity marked the utter and total end of the argument. I’m not sure if this tactic would work for all conflicts, such as riots or war, but it sure would be hilarious to see it on the news.
Hey, it worked. So when things get tense, maybe getting naked is the best course.
Follow us on Facebook. Don’t worry. We’ll stay un-naked.
Fully-Clothed Instructional Diagrams
Enough words. Time for pictures.