How to Be a Dad

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Boob Visibility Comparison Chart (Models vs Mothers)


Boob Visibility Comparison Chart Models and Mothers

Mothers. They hide in bathroom stalls, fashion elaborate blankie wigwams or take cover behind mall ferns and alley dumpsters to protect us from the horror of the breastfeeding process. And by “us” I mean the few deranged and perverted assholes whose stomachs and backs have turned on a process that is commonly known as fucking biology!

Models. Let’s look at this from both ends and be fair. Models and starlets have it rough, too. Aside from living on a diet of leaves spritzed with lemon and garnished with air, they have to spend countless hours with their slick-back-haired agents debating over the percentage of augPhotoshopmentation for covers and possibly how their outrage-detonating music video or sex tape will be leaked or released on the Internet. Stressful stuff. Most of us repay them with a kind of worship or avid fascination. This may be the same douchey “us” I referenced above.

All sarcasm aside (some of it at least, but probably not), despite the fact that some new moms may in fact be sort of privately pleased by their increased bra size, or just by the simple satifaction of taking care of their baby in one of the most basic ways possible, I’m pretty sure that newly-minted mothers don’t instantly become slutty exhibitionists trying to win the most Mardi Gras beads while feeding their infants. That’s only if I’m judging by every single mother I’ve ever seen, anywhere. In real life or on the Internet. But I’ve only co-run a globally popular parenting website for over two years, so who am I to lob such an uninformed observation onto the Interheap (whoops, more sarcasm).

When I see people ranting or getting weird and offended over breastfeeding, in public or in private, I feel likeโ€”and this is an honest momentโ€”I’m seeing the words and reactions of people who would be the absolute first to perish as castaways on a desert island or smack dab in the middle of an end-of-the-world scenario. The depth of this shallow idiocy boggles my mind. If we’re calling teams, they are not on mine. Sorry. Except for that “not at all sorry” part.


Follow us on Facebook. We won’t breastfeed there, but only because we don’t have boobs ourselves.

More About Feeding Babies and Kids (or what happens afterward)

Breastfeeding: Suck It
Breastfeeding: Suck It
  The Food Groups According to Kids
Types of Diaper Loads (The Truth)
  The Food Groups According to Kids
Breastfeeding Caption Party
  The Food Groups According to Kids
The Food Groups According to Kids


Even more Posts on Boobs and Breastfeeding
Even More? Of course. What website did you think you were on?


98 Responses to “Boob Visibility Comparison Chart (Models vs Mothers)”

  1. Drea says:

    you’re blog is funny, which is why i started following, but this? this. it’s pretty amazing. something about dads taking a stance (on what i consider the “right” side) in this absurd breastfeeding debacle gets me everytime! yay for biology!

  2. You had my attention with “boob”, enough so that I continued reading the rest of your post even when no real boobs were on display. Seriously though, good point. The whole thing is kind of ridiculous. Babies need to eat and mommies need to feed them. That’s it!

  3. Annette says:

    2 things:
    A. This is brilliant.
    B. I suddenly have an overwhelming urge to run to Target.

    • Andy says:

      LOL! I’m a graphic designer so can imagine how bouncy my belly is at this comment. I should have tagged Target in my post. Maybe they would have been rad enough to latch on. Hmmmm. I may just tweet them. Ha ha!

  4. Adrian Kulp says:

    Clever boys reeling me in with your boob talk…if I could, I’d tear my bra off and burn it in the middle of my Maryland suburbia while breastfeeding my kids, but…I can’t do jail time, so I will applaud you from my living room ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Andy says:

      The world is changing in good ways and bad, happily and sadly, respectively. And bras really stink when they’re on fire, so welcome to the digital revolution where the pitchfork and torch wielding trolls of the world listen and wise up or perish on the desert island of exile from humanity.

  5. I love that your first two comments are from men! Cheers to all the wonderfully evolved men out there who understand that boobies are not just for oggling and that whenever they’re out doing the job they were designed for they should be honoured!

  6. John E. says:

    With posts like this you are going to have to rename the site “How to be a Decent Person”…

    • Andy says:

      Internet people have trouble with words like decent and descent and every not-super-common English language word, but I’m just joking your sentiment is received loud and clear.

  7. Greta says:

    Thank you for being so reasonable! Why in hell breast feeding is something to be hidden has always eluded me. It’s food! Damn good food at that, costs nothing with great health benefits yet many treat it as if it’s something to be ashamed of. Consider sitting outside a Victoria’s Secret store breast feeding and being told to cover up….really? C’mon. I’ve nursed all three on trains, planes, malls, restaurants, the movies, church and basically anywhere. If ya don’t wanna see, don’t look!

    • Andy says:

      It almost hurts me to hear you thank me for being reasonable because of the long and awful and all too common story of unreasonable moronology it tells. Also? Beside being food, isn’t it Harry Potter enough for this world that a lactating woman can squirt on a wound and it will heal faster!?!

      Expecto Lactronum.

  8. Mothers should breastfeed wherever and whenever they need to. But if they’re doing it in public, just to make a statement, they’re doing it wrong.

    Long live second base!

    • Ashley says:

      “But if they’re doing it in public just to make a statement, they’re doing it wrong.” What does that even mean?

      • If they’re doing it simply because they need to feed the kid, then fine, who cares. That’s parenting. But in my opinion, doing it in public for the purpose of making a spectacle of it is lame. That’s what it even means.

        It sucks (<— see what I did there?) that it's even an issue in the first place.

        • kelly says:

          Either babe is hungry or he isn’t. How does one make a spectacle out of feeding their baby?

          • Michelle says:

            I think what they are referring to are “nurse ins” for the purpose of making a statement, not for the natural public feeding because you happen to be there when the baby was hungry. Some people purposefully go to super populated places to breastfeed.

    • Gina says:

      Love this article, but this comment has be dumbfounded. If mothers should breastfeed “wherever and whenever”, how is there a wrong way to do it? While I never condone intentional nudity in public, that does not apply to breastfeeding. There simply is NOT a wrong way to breastfeed.

      • Bob says:

        Gina, I feel the need to reply to your comment. There once was a time and place where individuals would wait near puddles with anticipation for the chance a lady would *gasp* show her nude ankles. Breasts are not inherently sexual. In North American culture they are sexualized. So while you do not condone intentional nudity, you may be enforcing the deeply-held cultural norm that breasts are sexual and in itself forcing this issue.

        Are there any other anthropologists out there who agree?

    • Andy says:

      I’m going to try to modify your thought on this, and anyone else reading. Hear me out. This is a new angle; one that I didn’t complicate my post with.

      Bob Dylan, Gandhi, that nameless guy standing in front of a precession of stopped tanks… were they overdoing it? By making a statement?

      Why do I say this? For two reasons. 1) Because I know that in my heart of hearts, if I was a mom, knowing myself, I KNOW I would rail against the abnormality of any part of humanity being disgusted be being human. And 2) even the punk rock, non-conformist, give-a-shit abstainers who get a little overly flaunty about their breastfeeding are doing so in protest to the existence of other people’s human rejection of their own humanity.

      Plus, babies are super cute and so are boobs. Win win.

      • I hear ya Andy. It can be argued that the best way to protest the rejection of breast feeding in public is to breast feed in public. Just seems silly to me on many fronts. One, that it’s even an issue in the first place. And two, breast feeding in public is about parenting. You don’t have to make a spectacle of yourself, just do it.

        • Andy says:

          True. There are countless jerks out there, and there must be a small percentage of them happen to be lactating and make breastfeeding a weird and inappropriate thing for others. Though I’ve never actually seen this, I concede that it’s statistical impossible for it not to exist. However, the percentages don’t and will never justify the amount of public scorn and awkwardness of others in my opinion.

          In a perfect world, you’re right, it should be just parenting.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Don’t get me wrong, I agree with this for the most part, but models with boobs popping out aren’t on the kids channel or in their books, magazines, etc and there are ways to control what your kid sees to a certain extent. How would you explain this to a young child, especially if you are separated from the mom and you have a daughter? Or in my case, how do you explain it to your partners children (or your step kids) if your partner isn’t around? Do younger kids really need to see it? What sort of standard does it set for the next generation? Do you think it will cause negative feelings in those women who can’t breast feed but really wanted to or even those who aren’t able to have children but would love to have that sort of bonding experience? All this attention to how great breast feeding is and how proud women should be, do you consider that it may cause other women to feel sub par?

    • courtney says:

      really? seriously? how do you explain it? they aren’t having sex. they’re feeding a baby.

      how do you explain when your child asks what a mother who is bottle feeding is doing? do you get nervous and say “erm ask your mother” or do you shrug it off and say “they’re feeding their baby”?

      its food. why is food weird or hard to explain?

      also, why the hell should I care if I make others feel sub par. honestly? apply this “logic” to other situations:
      you walk in public don’t you? aren’t you worried it may make physically handicapped people feel sub par or jealous?

      do you take your kids out in public? won’t it make infertile people feel bad?

      do you go out on public dates with your wife? won’t that make divorced people feel bad?


      • monique says:

        Courtney, took the words right out of my mouth (errr. Fingers.)
        I’m subscribing to this blog! Good job getting the man’s perspective. I have breastfed and bottle fed, and in no way felt inferior to anyone. I did what I thought best for my child at that time.

      • Brittney says:

        This response is awesome.

      • Pati says:

        Agreed! I’ve been asked by children in public what I was doing. I simply answer, feeding my baby. If they inquire further I elaborate further. Simple.

        • Jessi says:

          Ditto. And on the rare occasion when a little kid asks what I’m doing and I tell them I’m feeding the baby, they are satisfied and move on to the next thing. They don’t see anything embarrassing about it because no one has told them it’s embarrassing.
          I feel like I’m doing a public service, educating other children that is normal and healthy.

      • Ashley says:

        GO COURTNEY GO! Thank you. I was going to answer similarly. If a child in your care asks what that lady is doing, “feeding her baby” is a pretty easy explanatory response. Duh. Milk comes from BOOBS folks. If you have trouble explaining that, hope the kids never wonder what they’re pouring on their breakfast cereal. COW BOOBIES!

      • Jo says:

        Right on Courtney!! I mean, really… If we had to worry about offending someone every time we did or didn’t do something, we would never leave the frickin’ house for crying out loud! And then that might offend someone!?! O_o

    • sara says:

      How do you explain to your child what a bottle fed baby is doing?I personally do cover myself if I need to feed in public for my own comfort not anyone else’s. I think that every woman can and should chose to feed their child in whatever way they see appropriate. I think that children should alsobe answered in a truthful manner when asking questions about anything. A breast feeding woman is just feeding her child plain and simple. Some children eat from bottles others from their mother’s. Simple enough explanation in my mind. Maybe I am wrong?

    • Katie says:

      Other kids seeing breastfeeding normalizes what should already be normal. And me feeding my baby has nothing to do with other moms who couldn’t breastfeed. It’s a normal way to feed my child, and if anyone is offended it’s on them, not me. Breastfeeding isn’t wrong.

      • Denise says:

        Amen!! Normalizing something normal. Kids don’t see this as sexual. Only parents do. My nieces and nephews have seen me BF (usually covered unless my youngest throws off the cover which she is apt to do). When I explain what I’m doing, they get it. It is no big deal to them.

        Basically, parents don’t want to have to explain something that they see as sexual. These are the same parents that when they notice their child is staring at a handicapped person or a person with a huge scar, shush their child loudly and say “Don’t stare. It’s rude.” I’d rather the child stare (I happen to have a huge scar) and give me the chance to explain. That would be too easy. Parents want an easy way out. It is easier to avoid reality than explain it.

        • Jessi says:

          TRUTH. As parents if we act embarrassed by the questions our kids ask instead of honestly answering them it teaches them to be embarrassed, or worse to make jokes.

    • Bianca says:

      What you’re saying to “the next generation” is that breastfeeding is normal & natural. It is a way to nourish a baby. You say that models aren’t visible but if you go into a shopping mall there are advertisements all over. Magazines in store displays with bikini clad models on the cover. On the tv you have Miley Cyress (much scarier than any breastfeeding mom where all you can see is the back of a baby’s head). Half the shows on “prime time” tv show more than a breastfeeding mom.

      As for women who can’t breastfeed (less than 4%), by the same token, should I hide my pregnancy because there are women who can’t get pregnant, even though they really want to? It really is the same thing. It’s not fair to expect a breastfeeding mother to hide because she “might” offend someone. I read somewhere (and yes, the wording is harsh): my baby’s right to eat trumps your non-existant right to never be offended or uncomfortable.

    • Sarah says:

      When my niece (who was bottle fed due to health issues of both her and my SIL) asked me what I was doing when I nursed my son in front of her, I simply said “This is how some moms feed their babies.” She said “Oh.” and walked away. She has not been traumatized by the experience. (And neither was her mom who couldn’t breast feed.)

    • Juniper says:

      arenโ€™t on the kids channel or in their books, magazines, etc and there are ways to control what your kid sees to a certain extent.

      [So are you complaining about billboard-sized lingerie advertisements?]

      How would you explain this to a young child, especially if you are separated from the mom and you have a daughter?

      [“She’s feeding her baby.” It’s not that hard.]

      Or in my case, how do you explain it to your partners children (or your step kids) if your partner isnโ€™t around?

      [“She’s feeding her baby.”]

      Do younger kids really need to see it?

      [Considering that these “younger kids” would be nursing or recently weaned in most cultures, what’s the problem here?]

      What sort of standard does it set for the next generation?

      [That breastfeeding is normal.]

      Do you think it will cause negative feelings in those women who canโ€™t breast feed but really wanted to or even those who arenโ€™t able to have children but would love to have that sort of bonding experience?

      [Should I stop hugging my child so that women who can’t have children don’t feel bad? Is one hypothetical person’s feeling of guilt or regret a reason for me to stop doing something healthy and important for my kid?]

      All this attention to how great breast feeding is and how proud women should be, do you consider that it may cause other women to feel sub par?

      [No. I think that our children’s health should come before grown women’s hurt feelings.]

    • MamaG says:

      In answer to the question: “Do younger kids really need to see it?”

      Yes. Yes they do. All the damn time.

      It’s the only way to help them not see breasts as purely sexual objects, and the first step in helping them to be comfortable and confident one day in nursing their own babies or helping their partner to successfully do so.

    • Annette says:

      This attitude is EXACTLY why children need to see women breastfeeding.

    • Ashley says:

      HAHA! My 4 year old niece had never in her entire life seen a breastfeeding baby as her mom is very PRO formula (not anti breastfeeding, but PRO formula). Neverless my daughter was about 4 hours old and I was nursing her in the hospital and my niece walks up and say “Auntie, you feeding the baby?” I replied with “yep, she’s eating”. That’s exactly how that went. I think it sets a standard of being educated in the manners of biology (not religion or culture, biology). I’ve met many moms who can’t breastfeed or have a very difficult time, I haven’t offended anyone. Please excuse me while I smack my head into the wall.

      • Ashley says:

        oh and may I add, I feel it much more difficult to explain why a woman is shown with her panties or bras exposed in public. I wish I could say “oh they’re going swimming” but no, all I’m left with saying is “their women simply appealing to the sexual nature of our society and feel in order to be noticed, they must be half naked”. That is much more painful to explain to my niece or daughter who I hope never feels they must strip to be taken seriously or considered beautiful.

    • gramma says:

      Wow! Really? Your comment is just plain absurd. Your “logic” is …well,Courtney really said it best!

    • Dawn says:

      How to explain it? “Supper” I have to agree with Courtney. I breastfed my son in the Army (not on duty, of course) and didn’t catch this much flack. I just can’t get my head around anyone having a problem with breastfeeding. After all, we’ve been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years.

    • Andy says:

      I’m worried about you, sir or ma’am. I feel like you may have some stuff that needs working out, and I’m very glad you saw this post, in the hopes that it helps you along with the journey you’re on.

    • Samantha says:

      To the reply commenters-

      Well, I don’t agree with the poster above seemed to infer in his/her questions and I can understand how one might infer such things from his/her post. However, I think a lot of you are being a bit harsh and probably are taking it the wrong way. There has not been one positive helpful comment. This person may have genuine concerns and need help understanding, and I am appalled that everyone seemed to take it as being so negative. If we are to change the way the world views this issue then we must be good stewards, educate, advise, and generally help people who may have questions and concerns. We need to make this a positive, helpful discussion that generates new thoughts and changes conventional notions. Shame on all of you to not take this opportunity to share some of your wisdom, general knowledge, or first hand experience. I thought this blog was about helping others, not bashing them for not understanding!

      To the poster-

      First off, please don’t make me look like an ass for sticking up for you if you only came here to start an argument.

      Now, on to your concerns-

      I think you can only keep your kids from seeing so much; even the most cautious parents can’t be in control of that 24/7. I think we need to give him/her the benefit of the doubt that maybe these are legit questions. I have 2 stepkids and 1 biological child, while I would probably also have said that the woman was feeding her baby and if any further questions arose I would address them accordingly and appropriately for the child’s age. However, that might not be what the bio mom wants their kids to know or how she wants it explained. In that case I think it’s not your place to explain anything, just try to be prepared for those types of questions and ask the kids father/mother what they would want you to say in those situations. Not all kids would take the answer ‘she is feeding her baby’ at face value, some are more inquisitive and bound to ask the why and how especially of they are not exposed to that by the bio mom. I can understand this because I got asked by my SD about why SS had male genitals and what they were etc. Apparently my attempt at being educational “That is what makes him a boy and it is called a penis” was not at all what bio mom wanted said so I caught a lot of crap for that. I also caught a lot of crap for fostering a pregnant dog from and over crowded animal shelter even though the kids weren’t even at our house when she gave birth. The bio mom was upset that the kids were going to know what pregnancy was if that shows you how crazy she is. If that is what you are dealing with then good luck because you will be dealing with that for a long time!

      I don’t think BF should be a radical exhibition at all if that is what you mean by kids seeing it. We shouldn’t put the issue in their face constantly in the hopes that they will grow up thinking it’s normal, no matter how normal it actually is- it could have the opposite effect and make them not want to BF or have women BF in public, who knows what could come of it so just let them make their own decisions about it when they are old enough and in that situation. All we can do is educate them as much as possible and hope that they will have good morals and values and share our beliefs. I know some extreme mothers who do make it a point to bring it into the limelight just because they want it normalized even though society might not be ready for such a sudden change. I think modesty is key and for the sake of those parents who would rather their kids not see it at a young age, a cover is appropriate in public situations. I think that is the first step in “normalizing” it for the next generation and generating change rather than attempting change through radicalism. Regarding BF vs models, I think it is just as important to educate your children that model is not the standard, she/he is posing to show off the clothes. I don’t think you can really compare the two fairly because one is advertisement and the other is not. Just my two cents on that because I modeled way back in the day when there was no public obsession with the ‘leg gap’.

      Yes I do think that there will be some women who are upset by public BF because they have some sort of problem (whether that be chronic mastitis that doesn’t allow them to BF or infertility). I had my own struggles with fertility so yeah I get that- if I saw moms with newborns I was jealous that it seemed like everything came so easy to them. Then again I felt the same jealousy later on when my daughter screamed through the night due to medical issues and I got no sleep while other moms had babies who almost slept through the night. However, it goes back to my earlier point that it shouldn’t be a radical exhibition, no matter how strongly one feels about “normalizing” public BF, it should be discrete and modest. I personally liked the area that my local mall had set up for nursing moms- comfy chairs and couches, you could relax and not feel rushed, no hustle and bustle. Anyways, that was my good experience with that.

      Regarding sub par feelings, it goes back again to my earlier point about radial exhibition. I know there are lots of moms (and dads) who are passionate about this issue, but pushing for it and shoving it I’m peoples faces by making a big deal about it aren’t the way to go about things if we want to see a change. If that’s what you are referring to then yes I do think some women will feel inadequate. One of my best friends couldn’t breast feed due to medications that she was given due to medical complications during the birth. She had mentioned to me on more than a few occasions how she felt like less of a mom because she had planned to BF and wasn’t able to provide the nutrients that she felt were superior to formula. She also said she felt that because of that she wasn’t giving her child a good start in life. In regards to bonding, I think she over compensated in other ways and I feel the same about aquaintences who have adopted, but to each his/her own, live and let live. I’m pretty sure it’s just the hormones though and those feelings pass- at least she hasn’t mentioned it in years so either that or she hides her harbored feelings really well.

      Basically, if I am understanding this correctly, you probably feel that all of this attention that is paid to BF is too much. Maybe you ran into some of those radical exhibitionist moms (if so you probably live in Oregen, at least that is the only place where even I was worried about the state of some mothers being a bit too radical for the cause) No offense to anyone who lives in Oregen, that just happens to be where I saw what O felt was too radical- this is in no way a reflection of all of Oregens moms who choose to BF in public. I don’t know your story and maybe I am wrong and you posted that to start an argument because you have nothing better to do. I read it as you looking for guidance- I know how strange it can be if you don’t have kids, are trying to have kids, or you only have stepkids, I’ve been in each situation and I can understand your questions in that respect. Things like this probably do put a lot more pressure on people than what it did 15 years ago. I hope this helps you.

    • Chelsea says:

      So my sister was breastfeeding once in front of our nephew(meaning not her child). He was about four at the time. He looked at her a little funny and asked what she was doing. She said she was feeding the baby. How? He asked. From my body she says, my body makes food for the baby. He thinks about this for a second. “That’s awesome” was his response. Problem solved, child’s innocence saved. It should also be noted that in spite of being around a whole lot of breastfeeding being the oldest of 4 children 11 grandchildren, my nephew, now 11 does not have an unhealthy obsession with breasts.

  10. Kat says:

    Thanks for proving to the world that there are good men out there who support women. It’s tough enough to get breastfeeding right without worrying about who’s looking and what women need is good supportive partners who care. Thanks

    • Andy says:

      You would really be surprised by how many men are highly supportive of this. Sure, there are of course a lot of what I like to call the “shit heads” among my sex, and they can be a lot more outstanding (on account of their shit-headedness) while the decent ones don’t tend to make a scene about something that should be as noteworthy as breathing. Remember that.

  11. Gayle says:

    Good Job!!! I am breast feeding my almost 17 month old and I will keep doing it till he is done. I am giving my little guy the best I can. He had a rough start in life so I am going to make sure he gets what God intended him to get. I am always so afraid some one is going to say something to me. I am not being gross or perverted, I am just a mommy doing what I was made to do feed my little one. I have had men try to look at me with my hubby standing right beside me while feeding it makes me so nervous, almost sick to my stomach! I just want to cry out “Stop making me feel gross I am not doing anything wrong! I am not here for your viewing pleasure! I am a mom feeding her baby! My breast belong to me and my baby!” But the world has a different use for breast…But if real mean like you keep standing up and treating real women with respect we might just change the world back to way it was meant to be. A safe place for women,babies and all of our little girls growing up right now. Keep up the good work! You may have a little girl some day and you will get a whole new outlook on life and you will be standing even taller!

  12. Jill C says:

    “Iโ€™m seeing the words and reactions of people who would be the absolute first to perish as castaways on a desert island or smack dab in the middle of an end-of-the-world scenario.”
    Awesome. I suppose this means we can eat them. But they’ll probably be malnourished.

  13. Megan says:

    Thanks for this. I’m a breast feeding mom. No one ever came up to me and told me I was inappropriate while I was feeding my son, but I was honestly always afraid they would. I have another on the way, so we’ll see how it goes this time. It’s an awful thing to be uncomfortable about.
    We can’t hide in our houses, we need to go out and get shit done just like everyone else. And we’re allowed to go out in public for pleasure during feeding times.
    They are boobs, they aren’t going to scar your fragile little mind, and why isn’t it ok for kids to see a boob being used for it’s INTENDED PURPOSE! God forbid a kid develops a healthy idea about the human body.
    As for being sensitive to people who can’t or won’t breast feed, I’m lucky enough to be healthy enough to breast feed. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t feel shame about that. And if it was a choice, I’m sorry but it’s really not my responsibility to either help you defend that choice, or hide from it.

    • Andy says:

      All well said. And I’m very glad you didn’t experience any ostracizing while BFing because only ostriches deserve that. What? The answer is: whatever. I’m insane. But with a point… WHY? Why were you expecting it? That’s what this is about. That is can even be a sort of unspoken cultural law, even when it isn’t ever “enforced” by the culture. You see?

  14. Dana says:

    What? No banana for scale? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. jennifer says:

    I am a model and nurse in line while ordering coffee. So there you go. Haters can go suck it.

    xoxo from san francisco


  16. Bob says:

    Society can not have it both ways. In North American culture, breasts have been sexualized. If you want to pull out your breasts in public to feed your child, then I would suggest changing the culture. Normalizing bare breasted women in not just a mother-child situation is a start, otherwise you are just wasting your time.

    • Andy says:

      Agreed in a way. I don’t think nudism is necessary to change the culture, but changing the culture is a definite necessity. The next time I see a woman roll her eyes or faux-gaf at a breastfeeding mom, I almost want to throw a water balloon filled with milk at her, and for men the curl their lip, I want to loudly tell them to stop looking at such weird porn that they’d associate a baby in a sexual circumstance. That’s not the chance I was referring to, but it sounds like fun, right?

      • Bob says:

        It has nothing to do with the baby and everything to do with the breasts. Trying to shame individuals will only create more of a perversion into this than before, which seems to be where society is heading.

        “Nudism” is completely subjective anyways. Not very long ago men would stand near puddles for
        the chance that a lady would hike up her dress and they would have a chance to she her *gasp* ankles.

        Breasts are NOT inherently sexual, they are in North American culture. Normalizing breasts is the only way IMHO. Otherwise this debate will always be here.

  17. Kristina says:

    This is by far the best article I’ve read on breastfeeding. I mean, how weird is it that people are..well..weirded (i know that’s not really a real word) out about a completely natural process. I’m the only reason my kids survived for the first six months of their lives! So the “haters” can suck it.

  18. Marilyn says:

    So funny that this debate is still going on. Shouldn’t we be past it already? I nursed all 4 of my kids in public or wherever, always modestly covered up because that’s what I do. If I was in a place where I knew people might be particularly sensitive to an unexpected glimpse of something, I didn’t mind taking it to another room. Yes, it’s perfectly natural and beautiful to nurse your child. AND, yes, you can be considerate of other people at the same time, easily. BTW, my kids know this as mommy milk, and since they have siblings, they are completely familiar and comfortable with nursing. They used to play-act it with their babydolls… even the boys ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Andy says:

      Right!?! So fucking stupid. Honestly, as a student of humanity and culture, I’m worried it will more likely get worse. If you study history, the characters known as Common Sense and its pal Logic don’t always wind up riding off into the sunset, happily ever after. It’s all of our job to give them the best chance, however we can, and the fastest horse.

  19. Jo says:

    Stumbling across this post has brightened my day. What a great bunch of people. Ironically, in my experience, it’s women that seem to have more of an ‘issue’ with breast feeding. Time to get over it folks, I have boobs, I have a baby – you shouldn’t have to be a genius, hippy or ‘alternative parent’ to figure out what comes next….

    • Andy says:

      It’s interesting to me that the worst seems to come from women and it’s also interesting that some people who read my post assumed I was referring to the problem men have with breastfeeding.

  20. Lila says:

    This was a great article. Women should feel free to feed their babies when and how they like without judgement or needing to feel uncomfortable. I see no problem in public breastfeeding. I also see no problem in formula feeding. Remember this goes both ways. I formula fed both my children for a variety of reasons. I was once buying formula (with my son and infant daughter in the cart). A woman told me how cute my kids were and we struck up a conversation, since she had a baby, too. She asked me how long I breastfed and I said I didn’t. She said, (and I quote) “It’s a shame you put your needs ahead of theirs.” And walked away from me. Breastfeeding mothers are not exhibitionists who want people oggling at their breasts. And formula feeding mothers are not lazy or selfish or ignorant.

  21. Jon says:

    I actually agree with the article’s major point, but the author writes in a way that makes him sound like a child, which is echoed perfectly in the comments.

    This whole “anyone who disagrees with my opinion is a douchebag” mentality is the reason this world is so screwed up in the first place. No one changes anyone’s opinion with a temper tantrum.

    Do the world a favor. Grow up.

    • Andy says:

      Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Priceless.

    • Jo says:

      Andy, this gentleman said you sound like a child… LOL I find this oddly humorous. I have never once thought that about your writing. I have always thought your writing made you sound like exactly what you are…a man! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I mean that in the nicest way, trust me. And also, for the record, I don’t think you’ve ever said you think people must agree with your point of view or be deemed a douchebag, neither has it been inferred. Maybe I’m wrong, but I doubt it… ๐Ÿ˜‰ Sounds to me like someone needs to learn how to play nicely with others!!

  22. Angie says:

    Great blog! Great point of view! And even greater the fact that as a father you get so involved and offended by this as most breastfeeding moms out there. I say most because, as we can see, not all of them think like us. I have breastfed all of my 4 children and I have done it whenever and however I wanted it. No, I haven’t shown my boobs but if my child was hungry and I had no way to cover up for whatever reason I will do it. I don’t want to feed my baby in the bathroom. Does people eat in the bathroom? No, right? That’s disgusting! So why should I feed my baby in the bathroom! If people don’t want to look at my boobs they are free too look any other way. That’s why this is a free country right?

  23. Jessi says:

    I have to say my Mom really tries to be okay with me BFing in public, but I can tell she still feels weird. The seventies were a messed up time to grow up – she wore tube tops and hot pants, but when she got pregnant she had to wear a tent so no one could see her shape. I appreciate all the support I get from my peers, and I try to GENTLY educate those around me who were raised in a different world.

  24. Jo says:

    Why is this even an issue? Women can parade around half naked all they want 24/7 in malls, at the beach, EVERYWHERE but as soon as they bare a breast to feed their child, it becomes taboo?!? WTF?!? Something is VERY wrong with this picture people!!!

    • Gayle says:

      You hit the nail right on the head!!! Something very wrong with people!!Because when we feed our babies it makes a woman breast a non sexual object!!! Cause we are just play things according to Mr. Playboy himself and half the crap on the internet! We still are not valued as humans just playthings.

  25. Gayle says:

    You hit the nail right on the head!!! Something very wrong with people!!Because when we feed our babies it makes a woman breast a non sexual object!!! Cause we are just play things according to Mr. Playboy himself and half the crap on the internet! We still are not valued as humans just playthings.

  26. Awesome truly, I love this post.

  27. This is Jaklindberg from the Lindberg Family and I want to add that I fully support breastfeeding and whenever I am with my baby in public I just nurse, I do try and cover up, not even for my comfort but because I respect my husband for not wanting other people to ogle me. When I had my youngest I needed to go back to class go take my finals. Between finals I was in the cafeteria PUMPING with a cover on and studying with a couple people from my class. Every single time I looked under my cover to make sure everything was going okay they stopped talking and looked away. Mothers that pump get a stigma just as well as women who nurse in public.

    Also, some women decide to exclusively pump for various reasons so while what is in the bottle could be formula, it could also be expressed breastmilk. Thanks for the post!!

  28. Jo says:

    This is fabulous but can you change the caption for blankie to be blankie/mamas shirt? Some babies really don’t like to have their heads covered up when they’re eating. The expectation that a nursing mother will cover her babies head with a blanket isn’t necessarily fair or realistic either. After all, would you throw a blanket over YOUR head in a restaurant to avoid offending other eaters? ๐Ÿ™‚

    I promise I’m not trying to be a pain in the butt. Part of normalizing breastfeeding in public is encouraging moms to feed their babies in a way that works for them.I’m certainly not a mom who would rip their shirt off in public and not care what people think, but at the same time it shouldn’t be necessary to completely cover everybody up if that’s not working. ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. Eric says:

    I strongly encouraged my wife to breastfeed in public and private. But I also strongly encourage to cover up in public. So whats wrong with bringing a breastfeeding cover and not exposing everyone to the women’s breast?

  30. Lynann says:

    YES. Thank you.

  31. Jo says:

    Thanks. ๐Ÿ™‚ I tried my best not to be confrontational but still get my point across.

  32. CMJH Fantasy says:

    It has always bugged me that mother’s can’t breastfeed with criticism when they are simply doing the most natural thing for themselves and their child, let alone using their breasts for what they were literally MADE for, but they don’t complain when stores like victoria’s secret show a women in nothing but underwear. How hypocritical can you be, people?

  33. CBJ says:

    Well, I’ve been known to overanalyze the simplest of things but here goes . . .

    There is a distinction between what is ‘normal’ and what is the ‘norm’ of course breast feeding is normal but as to it being the ‘norm’ in the US? If it was we wouldn’t need organizations like ‘la leche league’ or WABA etc.
    All of that aside, being a male I can only find the entire situation puzzling. . . it is on one hand primal and yet now considered the height of modern liberal thinking, it is a sign of basic motherhood and yet held as the signature of elite mothering, the poorest of the poor have no other recourse while the middle class have to jump through corporate hoops to feed their child while working etc.
    From my standpoint I just don’t know where to look. Is it bad manners to turn away, should one applaud or offer to burp the baby?
    In short, it is too important to ever be treated casually and too ‘natural’ to have any special status.
    Me? I just want to know what I’m socially required to do.

  34. Christine Taylor says:

    Omg! I Friggin Love U! I BF My Son To 13 Mos And I May Never Get My 18 Mo Daughter Off Them At Night. When She Was About 9 Mo I Had A WIC Appt, Ya Know At The Health Dept Called Women Infant and Children. I Was Early And Asked To Use Their Lactation Room (Only Cuz They Have A Comfy Recliner, Magazines And Radio In There) When It Was About Time To Feed Her. The Three Women Behind The Desk Looked At Each Other As The Receptionist Said “Oh, It’s Locked. Maybe You Could Use The Bathroom Or Something?” To Which I Politely Said (Only Cuz My Son Was With Me), “Did You Eat Lunch On The Toilet? In The Hot Car, Under A Blanket, Or (Air Quotes) ‘Something’?” At Her Flabbergasted “No!” And The Other Ladies’ Gaping Mouths I Said, “Then Neither Is My Child. It’s Nasty, Uncomfortable And IF My Daughter Decides She Is Hungry I WILL be Whippin’ My Boob Out And Feeding Her, M’kay?” And Walked Away.

    Now For A Funny Story:
    My Nephew, Whom Have Kept While His mother Works Since He Was 19 Mo, Was Almost Three When My Son Was Born. My Mother And I Were Play Arguing Whose Turn It Was To Change My Son. Of Course, We Brought Adam Into The Argument As I Said, “Adam, Tell Oma It’s Her Turn To Change The Poopy Diaper.” My Mother Deflected Back To Me, And I Back To Her. She Then Says, “Adam, It’s Your Turn To Change The Poopy Diappy.” He Yells With The Indignation And Absolution Only A Toddler Has, “NO!! I NOT A BREASTFEEDER!!!” Insert Two Grown Women, Mouths Wide Open In Shock And Then Dissolving Into Hysterics Whilst Getting The Stink Eye From The Kid. It Was The Best Thing Ever :))

  35. Poppiecon says:

    Nicely said! On that note, you may enjoy this:

  36. Shilo says:

    Love your posts! This is so true, I see women walking around dressed showing more boob than I do when breastfeeding, yet I am the one subjected to dirty looks and negative comments. I just smile sweetly and keep on going. Only one thing you forgot the banana for scale ๐Ÿ™‚

  37. Margarett says:

    I have three kids and am still nursing my youngest. I noticed my oldest, when he went to school started coming home and giggling about boobs. He was getting the idea from the other kids that boobs were naughty. Then we had a baby and I started nursing again. Suddenly he thought breasts were normal. Now I’m sure at some point his interest in boobs will resurface but it wasn’t breastfeeding that made him act like a little deviant. Exactly the opposite. There is interesting research that says exposure to breastfeeding women or even just images of nursing mothers is beneficial for children and even grown men and helps to stop overal objectification of women in society. Forgive me for not posting references as I’m on my phone but they are only a google search away. Thanks for the laugh. ๐Ÿ™‚

  38. Twinmummy says:

    It occurred to me, finally, that maybe the issue about breastfeeding is because we women dare deconstruct the madonna/whore images that some simple, sexist, misogynists have created, to cope with how wonderful and fabulous we women are. By breaking our power into portions [for example, nurturing, sexy, intelligent] they can cope with us. Take us as one big fabulous creation and they are just overwhelmed. Poor babies need to remember, all misogynists came out of – and quite possibly were breastfed by – a woman. Happy days xx

    • Andy says:

      That may be true, but one mind-bender about breastfeeding is that from all of the conversations I’ve had with mom bloggers (who hear many more stories and views than just their own) is that other WOMEN tend to scoff, complain and breastfeed-shame more than men. It’s very weird.

  39. Shannon says:

    So far, I’m liking everything this blog has to offer. I came across it because my husband told me he googled “my wife hates me”, so out of curiously, I too googled. Amongst the tons of results, this blog caught my eye. I made my way to this particular post on breastfeeding and it tickled me. I am a certified lactation counselor and breastfeeding peer counselor. Of course my own husband is super supportive of my breastfeeding our three kids but out of respect for him, I discretely cover in public, despite my own urges to “shove it to the man” and “radically normalize”. My point is, in my job we don’t see ENOUGH supportive men and I’ve seen numerous women struggle to feel confident nursing in public bc their childish counterparts who don’t want to “share their goods” with their baby! Ugh, don’t get me started. It’s so amazingly refreshing to hear a supportive, obviously caring, loving father and husband share his opinion on such a controversial subject even though it shouldn’t even be an issue bc this is what women were meant to do.

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