How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Baby Size Compared to Junk Food (A More Honest Chart)

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Junk Food Baby Size Chart for Pregnancy

From the moment the pee on a pregnancy stick says “yes, the gleam in his eye has met the speck in her tummy,” we start the process of wondering how big the little one actually is in there. Through all the weeks, months and trimesters. So, we find fetal size references that make a woman’s belly seem like a flippin’ cornucopia of health food. Hey, what woman doesn’t dream of their secret garden one day becoming a vegetable garden? Please. “My baby just turned gourd-sized.” Nope, it just won’t do.

You can’t gain weight or clog arteries from a comparison, so why compare the size of your unborn baby to health food? This isn’t supposed to be lesson in nutrition, you just want a reference for how big the baby is.

Plus, realistically, how many pregnant women are ever struck with a sudden, insane late-night craving for kumquats? C’mon-quat. The majority of people probably don’t know what the heck a kumquat is, let alone how big one is. Who cares.

I figured, when learning about the growth of the baby during pregnancy, let’s go with what we know! What we LOVE! Even if we shouldn’t love it so much. Or so often.

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Instructional Diagrams Are Delicious
If you could eat them, they really would be delicious. Except maybe the poop-related ones.
 

35 Comments

35 Responses to “Baby Size Compared to Junk Food (A More Honest Chart)”

  1. James says:

    Wait until somebody moaned about “gender check” being wrong. I call it here in an attempt to head it off.

    • Andy says:

      Sometimes they can tell as early as 12 weeks, but you made me smile that you were preemptively making an accuracy call on a chart that relates the size of a fetus to desserts and fast food. ;)

  2. I love this. So much more helpful than fruit and veggie comparisons. Also a great source of junk food craving ideas!

    • Andy says:

      Sorry for all of the cravings. Tee hee! I suffered, too, making it. And isn’t that what parenthood kinship is all about? Suffering together. Ha ha! Joking of course. Partially.

  3. Marisa says:

    Definitely not a fan of the fruit/veggie comparisons especially when it jumps from something as potentially randomly shaped/sized like a zucchini to a round honeydew melon. My thought has been to go with something more “regulation sized” like sports equipment. For instance, I jumped from a WNBA basketball to an NBA basketball in the past two weeks – though yesterday I was told it looked more like a beach ball … so you’re saying I’m huge, are you?

    • Andy says:

      No one should even be allowed to say the word beach ball to any pregnant woman. Not even if the conversation is about them. ;)

      Yeah, I was put off by the weird proportions and the variance in the comparison produce. It’s what inspired me to make this, really. Not all cucumbers were created equal and holy crap who wants to think their baby is cucumber-shaped!?

      • Marisa says:

        No joke, I just received an email “Baby’s now the size of a wintermelon!” and that’s not a typo. What the heck is a wintermelon? Even spell-check has put a squiggly red line under it.

        As an aside, hopefully you can correct Week 30 in your awesome graphic above so it says ‘gravity’ instead of ‘gavity’. :)

  4. PregoForMen says:

    Love this!

    Thanks for making it simpler for the guy’s like myself! LOL

    @PregoForMenBlog

  5. Monica says:

    Clearly this is the chart that Doctors should start using. It is a much better representation of size and cravings. During my pregnancy, I wanted to eat healthy so bad. The sickness was too much. I still can’t eat yogurt. Oddly enough, I could keep down pizza rolls. Those were a staple in my pregnancy. Love the chart!

  6. Drea says:

    Just fantastic! :) Thank you!

  7. Jo says:

    Ha! I can just picture the Doc saying ‘Your baby is now the size of a half eaten corn dog’… Yeah right! LOL There should be a taco on there somewhere…uuummm week 24 (ish) I craved Taco Bell with my first like you wouldn’t believe! I ate it everyday, sometimes more than once!! Don’t judge!

  8. This is pretty clever. I definitely won’t forget this the next time I’m trying to opt for something healthier.

  9. Mimi says:

    Actually, James, gender CAN be determined at 18 weeks, but it takes a high tech ultrasound and a talented ultrasound tech to see it. 20 weeks is just a better and more sure (ish) time.

    Well done, guys!! I love the chart!

  10. You guys. Thanks goodness I’m not preggo otherwise I’d be hitting the KFC. Who am I kidding?, I might do it anyway.

  11. Shelley says:

    Actually Mimi, I think he was referring to the fact that you can determine a baby’s SEX before birth, not the gender (which is a social construct.)

    ;)

    That said, this chart would have been much more interesting to my husband than the fruit one.

  12. Lizzy says:

    Haha! and to think my last pregnancy we compared the little fella to all the health food for his big brother’s sake. Ah well I am now newly informed should we ever find ourselves in this situation again (not overly likely but possible). Mind you he ended up being nicknamed “Cicero”. Means chickpea. Somehow seemed appropriate :)

  13. Melanie says:

    This is making me hungry. Please don’t report me to CPS.

  14. Laurie says:

    Sigh! I have never seen yes on pregnancy test…This looks fun, minus the corn dog and chicken, only because I’m vegetarian though!

    • Andy says:

      Yes on a pregnancy stick would probably result in a good amount of confused stress. “Yes? Yes what!? Yes I’m pregnant or yes I’m not pregnant!?!” Too much like a Magic 8 Ball perhaps. ;)

  15. Keira says:

    For something the size of a jelly bean, my Stormageddon’s house seems to have taken up a lot of space…

  16. Kate Roberts says:

    I absolutely LOVE this. My little miracle is a can of Soda right now. And thank you for the chip craving! Now I’ve got to pick up some Lays Original Potato Chip’s. The saltier the better!

  17. HelenBack says:

    You should definitely do an alternative “when you’re expecting app”. It would be fab!

  18. Brandy says:

    I find it amusing that the banana in the banana split is almost twice the size of the banana added for scale. :P

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