How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Daddy Vader Says… Bedtime

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Daddy Vader Says... Bedtime

They’ll pay you compliments and pour on the affection. They’ll make promises or deals. They’ll even resort to tormented begging and pouty threats. When it’s bedtime, kids’ll try nearly anything for that precious five more minutes.*

* “five more minutes” is defined here in the sense that children use it: until the child passes out in the middle of whatever they want to be doing forever.

Kids are terrible at telling time and even worse at giving even the teeniest crap about it. Staying up is practically their national pastime. Unfortunately, their parents are on the opposing team.

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11 Responses to “Daddy Vader Says… Bedtime”

  1. Johnny says:

    Better yet, tell them they can stay up five more minutes, then two minutes in announce that they need to go to bed. When they remind you of the deal, simply respond, “I have altered the deal. Pray I alter it no further.”

  2. Cobacrtr says:

    I love this! I always find it funny how thrilled my 5 and nearly 6-yr-olds are with “5 more minutes” until it pertains to cleaning up their room. Suddenly, “Yes!! We’ve got 5 more minutes!!” turns into “Dead man walking!!”

  3. JeninCanada says:

    I’m sure I’m not the only one who read that in Vader’s voice.

    Yeah, we tell our son ‘five more minutes’ fairly often, but sometimes that five turns into ten, or two, depending on what we actually want him to be doing, or how busy chasing after the baby we are.

    • Andy says:

      YEEEEEEEESSSSSS! When I’m writing them and read them back to myself, I read aloud as Vader. No respirator effects, though. Unless I’m doing a recital for guests. Tee hee!

  4. “Pretty please!”
    “The physical appearance of the please makes no difference.” -Felonious Gru

  5. Kenny says:

    My son never ‘officially’ asks for 5 more minutes. First, he’ll stall with open-ended questions in the dark: “Daddy, how does water get from the pipes outside into the upstairs toilet?” (I hate that I STILL don’t understand how that works!), then he’ll go poo for 15 minutes, finally he’ll creep out into the den claiming he can’t sleep. It’s at that point we all cuddle and watch Mike Holmes for 15 minutes…HGTV is very soothing (even when they’re ripping the guts out of a house for the 500th time….who PAYS for all that stuff?)

    • Andy says:

      The Force is strong with your little one!

      I love HGTV. People can probably afford to gut their houses on every third Tuesday of every month because most of those shows are in Canada. The home prices there are about the cost of a year of rent in LA. 😉

  6. Jo says:

    Ha! It disturbs me to recall this but I used to offer to rub my adoptive mother’s nasty old crusty feet with lotion just so I could stay up past my bedtime… Ya know, to watch a movie or whatever… O_o *shudders*

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