My entire family just went down with the flu at the same time. It was like a horror movie, one by one we fell. My wife was the last one standing. For a while, she even deluded herself that this would be one of those movies where one character gets out alive, to reflect on the terror and loss, and set up a sequel. No dice.
A couple of days into her Influenzapalooza, she hobbled over to me and whipper-hissed with an intensity that was kind of scary despite how weak she looked…
“It should be a Law of Nature that women can’t be sick and have their period at the same time!”
I winced on her behalf and fully agreed. Feeling like a bucket of fermented dung myself, I thought what multiplying that by two would feel like. It was impossible for me not to shudder.
Something needed to be done about it. But what?
I started daydreaming about it. How do you change the world? And look really edgy and cool doing so? Urban sticker or graffiti campaign! That’s how!
Now, you may say: You can’t campaign against things like biology and Nature.
To which I’d reply: Hey, you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m NOT the only one.
You: You’re a friggin’ nutcase!
Me: ♫ I hope someday you’ll join us… ♫
You: Hey! Put those stickers and glue away! I’m gonna call the cops!
Me: I’ve had a fever for three days straight, okay! (As I’m running away) The world will live as one!!! (Or shuffling pretty fast at least)
Ehem. So yeah.
All fever delirium aside, my point is that a woman getting sick AND getting her monthly visitor sounds like just about the worst thing ever because it apprently is. Throw motherhood into the bargain and start adding more kids and you’ve got flaming heap of a bad deal for the ladies. (Women love being referred to generally as “the ladies” by men, by the way. Did I mention my fever got as high as 104.7?)
Remember, people, even if there are some things we can’t change, like basic biology and Nature, we can at least piss and moan about them.
We promise our Page will be a welcome break from all your friends’ flu status updates.
Some of these look like they were created under the influence of way too much Robitussin, but I swear I never touch the stuff.