How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

My Wife Just Swore… #67

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“Okay, ‘chilling out’ has happened for long enough. Now everyone can just f##k off.” -Elizabeth

 

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17 Comments

17 Responses to “My Wife Just Swore… #67”

  1. Laurie says:

    Yup, sounds about right! I get to that point very often..

  2. That’s it. I want the recording devices out of my house now! ;)

  3. Kathy V. says:

    I’m a little concerned that my 14 month old son will pick up the words “bitchmonkey” and “fuckwad” from me, but not concerned enough to stop saying them.

    • Andy says:

      You are my new favorite person for saying bitchmonkey and fuckwad. That is all. Carry on.

    • Awesome! I’ve done well with not swearing around TheBoy myself. Example: I recently jammed my finger quite painfully… I tried to hold it in, because he was right there, and yelped “Owowowowow! Grrrrr!!” and stomped my foot a couple of times. He said, “Daddy, you usually say, ‘MotherJumper.'” LOL Indeed I do lil’ buddy. Indeed I do. (It didn’t hurt so bad after that good belly laugh.)

  4. Sanstrousers says:

    I think I could be best friends with your wife.

  5. CatZilla says:

    I’ve got one for you, my husband just said, “Do we have a broom?” Why YES, darling! We have had a broom for the entire span of our co-habitating relationship. You should make it’s acquaintance! It’s red.

  6. CourtneyS says:

    my daughter went to her sitters when she was just over two. Her sitter went to put her on time out for something small, her response:

    “oh for F$%k Sakes, are you high?”

    I realized I needed to stop questioning everyone’s sobriety when they did something I didn’t like.

    • Andy says:

      Ha ha ha ha ha ha! That amazing and awful! ‘Twas awfulmazing. :)

      • CourtneyS says:

        you think thats Awfulmazing? I can do one better.

        My husband has taught our second daughter (20 months) to run into the room, rip open her robe, and yell TA-DA!!!!! Then run away as fast as she can. She did this at her great grandfathers house ripping open her footy PJs.

        For some reason that makes me shake my head more.

  7. Mat says:

    I just spent the last hour enjoying “htbad”.. had set out to do some writing… came across this instead…. yes I am pretty ninja at procrastination. Anyways please point me to more material about non parents initiation into our guild, have 5 friends about to fall into the chasm, and call me sadistic but its (mostly) wickedly funny to watch.

    Thanks… Mat

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