Early along in the amazing magical spell I like to call my marriage to Lizzie, I walked into our bedroom and my eyes went very wide, like O_O type of wide, to take in all the horror at once, as if ripping a band-aid off my mind. So it might hurt less. My lovely wife had purchased pillows. Lots of them. As in LO_OTS of them.
“Doesn’t it look goooooorgeous!” she said proudly. If it wasn’t frozen in place, I would have rotated my head to her and answered, “AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!” You see, I did some quick mental math. I multiplied the pain in the ass of dealing with all those pillows in one night by a factor of several hundreds or thousands of nights and it all equalled AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Then she jammed her tongue in my mouth or something and math didn’t seem as important as it did a moment before, and the pillows may or may not have wound up in a state of disarray.
Fast forward. When we had a baby in bed with us, we started Project: Pillow Fort. Now, I remember pillow forts as kid. Pure fun! I constructed pillow forts of not just bedroom pillows but actually strip mined the family couches for their cushions and created engineering marvels. Good times. But this pillow fort was to promote both the swaddled sleep of the little one as well as protect the little one from any untoward slumber movement… and possibly my horrible open-mouth sleep breath.
In any case, beds with more pillows than mattress can be a daunting thing. Whether you have a little super lad or lass nestling in their Fortress of Pillowtude or not.
P.S. I did draw the line at those tube-like cushions. I refuse to have one those cylinders of insanity in any bed I’m sleeping in.
Follow us on Facebook. Let’s build a pillow fort on Facebook together.
You don’t even know what the word crazy means yet! We’ll show you.