How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Bad Product Idea #7: Baby Hjölster

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Hjölster Baby Hjolster Infant Holster Carrier

[ click the image to enlarge ]

If this was a real product, it wouldn’t just be for the recently-parented couple with a wagon-wheel coffee table and more pairs of boots than shoes (though it’d be mandatory for those). The Baby Hjölster infant holster carrier would be perfect for anyone who was a little bit country, maybe even a little bit rock ‘n’ roll. It’d also be great for dads with a new kid in towne, that just didn’t feel comfortable with conventional baby carriers.

Heck! While toting your tot around, you could be reliving your own childhood memories of Cowboys and Indians!… Now that I think of it, people haven’t played Cowboys and Indians as much since the way way olden days. Don’t think it’s because of political correctness! Young kids tend to get failing marks at both politics and correctness. Times they just keep on a-changin’, and so do movies and television. For instance, the Baby Shoulder Hjölster model would be good for later generations that once played Cops and Robbers. Hmmmm. I’m noticing a pattern. Hopefully the kids of the future won’t be playing CSI agent and Serial Killer… (shudder)

Anyways! I wandered. Baby Hjölster! Definitely a bad product idea, but a fun one for sure, and probably especially useful for anyone who needed to quickdraw a baby that just made a flash flood in their not-so-long johns.

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72 Comments

72 Responses to “Bad Product Idea #7: Baby Hjölster”

  1. Brian says:

    This is awesome! A couple of these would be perfect for twins.

  2. mike says:

    does it make me a bad parent that I want one?

  3. Charlene says:

    Thanks! Awesome :) Keep em’ coming!

  4. Babe_Chilla says:

    You guys are way too funny.

  5. Manda says:

    My husband would love this!

  6. Bullgrit says:

    OK, that is just awesome.

  7. JonJ says:

    I want one, it would put me closer to my ultimate unattainable goal of be a 1/10th as awesome as Chuck Norris.

  8. Guns don’t kill people. People who put babies in holsters kill people.

  9. Do you know which states require a permit or training classes to get one?

    • Andy says:

      Ha ha! Good news: no permit is required for owning and carrying a baby, bad news: not only is no training required, no training is available. ;)

      • Donna Dooley-Oakley says:

        Lots of training for parents. Classes and books. I learned before I had my son and continued after that. Was a full-time nanny for years. It’s doable, people just do what their parents did to them. Good or bad. People still hit/spank their kids, but they themselves would never tolerate that from a boss if they make a mistake at work. We allow hitting our children to teach them not to hit their younger siblings…hello????

  10. Gale says:

    I’m honestly looking at that and thinking “This would be a whole lot easier to put a baby in than the baby holder I had.”

  11. Dale Rowse says:

    Hilarious. The pic of the cowboy is me… That’s the thing about modeling… You just never know where your images are going to pop up! Nice job guys. Hilarious photo and you made me look pretty good… Now I just need a kid. LOL

  12. eriol78 says:

    Baby Hjölster, for all of those who want to crip walk like a pro!

  13. Marcus says:

    Bad? It looks awesome.

    If you just remove the J then you have holster in Swedish.

    • Andy says:

      Ha ha ha! Really?!? I had to go with the J though, it’s what Americas pjut in every wjord they want to sjound Swedish. It’s Amewedish. ;) I apologize on behalf of myself and my cjountry.

      • Marcus says:

        Totaly true. I’m quite impressed that you got the letter Ö. Not exactly standard in the US keyboard layout :)

        Here is two other baby related words:
        Blöja = Diaper
        Bäbis = slang for Baby

        Keep up the good work on How to be a dad.

        • Kim says:

          Was about to make the same comment on how close you were on the Swedish word but Marcus beat me. I would like to add another Swedish word.

          Björn = Bear

          So in Swedish the product is basically called Baby Bear.

          Love your site! Keep up the good work. :-)
          Hejdå

  14. Amy says:

    My husband wants this!

  15. tommy riles says:

    Awesome job boys, just shared.

  16. Cory says:

    Ohh, man, as a father of twins, I would totally buy one of those. When do you plan to take it to market?

    • Andy says:

      LOL! I don’t believe this product will ever be developed, buuuuuut… there are some pretty crazy product out there, so you never know, eh?

  17. Kyle says:

    I envision a showdown at high noon wherethe stuff that

  18. Kyle says:

    I envision a showdown at high noon where the stuff that they’re slinging is a bit squishier (and smellier) than guns

  19. SomeGuero says:

    Then when the baby acts up just give it a few elbows to the head. what a hilarious and terrible idea.

  20. Ryan says:

    I dont care how much it costs i want one….

  21. Amanda says:

    I showed this to my husband. His immediate reaction was “OH MY GOD THAT IS COOL! I would totally wear one of those!!” Someone needs to invent this, stat. :)

  22. Awww so cute baby muaaaaaaaah :P

  23. Sebastian says:

    Holster is actually called hölster in Swedish lol

  24. Lambo says:

    Warning – Baby is as loaded as the dad….

  25. Sally says:

    Hehe, I can think of a few dads who would like this… until they realised the damage it would cause to both wearer and wearee. (Crotch dangler- need I say more?!)

  26. Surely this is competition for the Piggyback Rider. Check it out at: www dot piggybackrider dot com.

  27. Laura says:

    We have twin 7 month old boys. I could so see my husband wearing this while chasing down the other children!

  28. Candace says:

    So funny and yet so adorable xx I’d like to order all three please <3 :D I would get one in a heartbeat just for photo shoots xxxxx

  29. Kim says:

    Haha! My husband will LOVE this!

  30. billybob says:

    I Really Want One If You Make It I Will Buy

  31. TheSev says:

    It doesn’t look like you can do a Quick Draw with this holster.

    There will be a time when you are going to Need To. And Fast too.

  32. Mr. Bawkbagawk says:

    am i the only one here who’s hip locks up with muscle spasms at the very thought of this thing? “why is this a bad idea?” indeed.

  33. Wolferine says:

    Forget the baby, look at the model. Tummy. Definite DILF

  34. Mamaway says:

    That is so awesome. And so made our day. We’ve gotta design one of these!
    It’s like the perfect way for sextuplets to be carried…one either side in holsters :), then go the upper storey on the hips with two slings, then one on the back and then shotgun for number 6 to ride the shoulders!

  35. Usaha Simple says:

    Inspiring!, thanks for sharing…. Cheers :)

  36. Justin says:

    This would be a win for dads like me who have twins!!

  37. Marc says:

    I wonder how fast he at baby draw?

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