How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Gimme My Boobies Back!

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Breastfeeding Symbols

The Boob Decision

Moms tend to be beautiful, near-magical creatures. But when it comes down to a heated breastfeeding debate, sometimes we’re left with just the creature part. But this isn’t about that, we’ll leave that one to better writers who are actually women.

Breastfeeding IconsMothering.com ran a design contest for a universally recognizable symbol for breastfeeding to replace the controversial icon of a bottle. Above is the winning design in use, plus some funny submissions. Click to enlarge.

The Promise

Pregnant with Lucas, Lizzie decided she was going to “give him the boob” and wanted to try for 3 months. I said, “Wow, that’s going to be so great, Darlin’. Go you!” That was what I said in an alternate reality. What I said in this reality was honestly more like “Really? That long!?!” Insensitive and selfish, I know, but she saw my mopey, sad face and promised it would not be more than 3 months. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Okay, I’m done laughing bitterly.

Gentlewoman, Start Your Boobies!

Breastfeeding got off to a rough start. Ahhhhh, the elusive proper latch! The stress, the tears, the freaky pumps, the Internet, the late-night calls to the midwife. Tough.

I would try not to look too alarmed as I watched her pull her breast away from her chest like a rubber toy and cram it in his mouth. I once (and only once) made the mistake of suggesting, “I think it’s more about bringing him to your boob and less about stretching your boob across the room to him.” Despite my pointers, she got it in no time. Something else happened though. The boobs became “off limits” to me.

Milk and Cookies

The Good Ol' DaysThe good ol’ days. I may be copping a feel in this very photo, when I still could.

There is no sweeter cookie than the cookie you can’t have. Soft, creamy cookies… Cookies with cute little candies in the middle… Mmmmm… Huh? What!?! Sorry, got lost there for a sec. I just wanted them sooooooo bad! I even resorted to covert operations at night, but was finally caught squeezing the Charmin. Her sleeping hand would rise up and remove mine like an automated robotic arm. Sigh.

So, when that 3-month marker was approaching, I’ll admit I was starting to do calendar checks. Yep. I’m boobie greedy. Let’s consider that an established fact and get on with it.

“Sooooo… One more week until you stop breastfeeding, eh? How’s the weaning going?” These kinds of questions were normally greeted with The Look. The one that says you will not be alive for much longer if you keep going where you’re going. So, I would move on to another subject in the interest of continuing one of my favorite pastimes: staying alive.

Let’s fast-forward. With Lucas still latched onto my wife’s breasts, three months came and went with new assurances of “only 6 months,” enough time to wean gradually. Then the 6-month promise showed up late to the game and was substituted with a 9-month promise, and since the 1-year marker was so close, the 9-month promise was forgotten about entirely. Blah blah blah, then there we were, 2 years later!

Whining and Weaning

Mama and Baby BreastfeedingSuch an image of beauty and love.

After all my nagging, Lizzie finally told me that I had to understand that, to her, her bazoongies were sources of food now and just not allowed for any sextracurricular activity. She needed to understand that telling a man that something that was sex-related was also now food-related just isn’t a strong argument. I still wanted ‘em! She may or may not have shot me with breast milk at that point.

I always understood how special and important the nursing was to her and the lad, it was beautiful. However, after a certain point, it was rough for me to see the life being literally sucked from my wife through her nipples. Those were her words, not mine. She knew she needed to stop, but loved it so much she dreaded the end. I had a clearer conscience knowing that my boob-desperate pestering was mixed with care and concern that was actually valid.

When Lizzie finally did stop breastfeeding, after Lucas’ turned two, she said, “You know! The funny thing is, I think I could have easily just stopped a year ago.”

Not smiling, I replied, “Heh heh. Yeah. That’s funny. Hilarious.”

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102 Comments

102 Responses to “Gimme My Boobies Back!”

  1. Liesbet says:

    Hahahaha. Poor you. It is a strange thing, this breastfeeding business, for women as well. I had the opposite problem, actually: breastfeeding for a while felt SO good that it made me feel uhm… close to an orgasm. Not that I actually HAD one, of course, but I have been seen with a blissful face rather often. Hum. Weird. A bit of a taboo, really. But looking forward to baby #2 *cough*
    The upside was that my boyfriend could touch/…./…. them, although he had to be careful. They were very sensitive, yes. But not off-limits.

    • andy says:

      Uhhhhh… I had actually come to terms with the memory of the whole Boobie Black Out era, but now? Ha ha ha ha ha! I’m just kidding, that’s awesome. Like REALLY awesome. Your husband is a lucky man. ;)

    • Franziska says:

      You’re not alone in the feeling of bliss! Same hormones are causing the effect and how awkward it is when trying to explain to anyone unfamiliar with the experience.

      My sons father once staged a fight with my son when he was 2 over who gets the “prizes”, my son eventually declared his father could have the left side as it under produces (I had a partial mastectomy on the left 3 years before he came along, all is well :) and he had always shown a preference for the right since birth.
      Boys and their toys…lol

  2. jessie says:

    good for your wife! i desperately wanted to breast feed but my milk never came in. i felt like such a failure. breast is best as they say so your son was lucky for a long time. and 2 years compared to a lifetime is really nothing. you have a lifetime with her breasts and your son got 2 years of excellent nutrition. a win-win! :)

    thanks for sharing.

    • andy says:

      It is a win-win. :) And I’m not just saying that because I got my boobies back.

    • Caisia says:

      Jessie, yes breast is best – but formula has come a long ways! My milk never came in either, and I felt like a horrible failure – though, it worked out well for my husband who felt like he did not have to share his toys.

      People who are so horribly gung-ho about breast being best (in general) make me crazy. I would have loved to breastfeed, but it wasn’t in the cards. I’ve gotten my share of looks from women when they see the bottle in my baby’s mouth.

  3. hehe I think my husband totally feels this pain too. I think I might stick to my 1 year promise though….

    • andy says:

      Aw shucks. I made it sound too bad I’m sure. My wife and I had a LOT of laughs over it. It wasn’t as bad as total body lock-down would have been, which is pretty common.

  4. Ron says:

    This is what I fear actually, being cut off. My wife teaches breast feeding as part of her job, so she plans on breast feeding for our first child (due in June). I have already been cut off some due to the sensitivity of her breasts already, and after reading your post, I sighed a sigh of resignation that I, too, might be in the same boat.

  5. Danielle says:

    It’s lovely you supported your wife through two blissful years of breastfeeding, complaints aside. :) I’m up to 15 months, and while mine aren’t “off limits” during the nursing stage, the rest of me is. There’s just nothing sexy about grabby, squeezy, pokey, pulling, slappy toddlerhood. I can’t turn the sexy thing on and off like a switch.

    Fortunately, I do not have a selfish husband, he understands the importance (and impermanence) of this stage, and I’ve never heard a peep out of him about it.

  6. Dave says:

    I think the biggest problem with the topic here is not ONLY the extended lack of boob access, but lack of boob access while they’re considerably, ehm, larger than normal. By the time you finally get access back, they’re already deflating! And the only way to get them back to that size is to get her pregnant again! o_O

    • andy says:

      You are absolutely right and you know what? I left it out on purpose. First of all, I didn’t want to get too guilt-trippy, second of all, I did’t want to rub salt in my own wounds. I hear you LOUD AND CLEAR! ;)

  7. Lisa says:

    Ah man, sorry! I’ve nursed all 3 of my kids (and am still nursing my 17-month-old) but after the newborn stage when the slightest brush of a shirt sets of the milk faucet, they’re free game during sexytime. Boobs really *are* great, aren’t they?

    • andy says:

      They are fantastic. My appreciation for them was all the greater for seeing them put to nursing use, and I’m not talking about the engorgement or glowing skin. Okay, maybe I’m ALSO talking about that, but not ONLY talking about that. Ha ha!

    • Carolyn says:

      Ditto this, and I found my boobs extra sensitive when pregnant and nursing (in an uncomfortable way while the milk supply is still getting settled, but in a good way after that!) So my milk still letdown in less than ideal moments sometimes, but if my husband was fine with that, that so was I ;)

  8. Kari says:

    Just think of how much money you saved by not having to buy formula though! (seriously, formula is freakin’ expensive!)

    Part of me feels bad for my hubby because I breastfeed, but the other part me feels happy and proud that I can provide the best nutrition for my kids. I breastfed my first for 8 months and my now 1-month old daughter has had nothing but “boobie milk” and I hope to go at least a year with her.

    I do commend you for supporting her to continue breastfeeding for those two years :)

  9. Manda says:

    I detested breastfeeding. Hated it. There was no bonding, no sweet little suckling sounds- just a six pound (or nine pound, depending on the kid) monster chewing my poor nipples to death.

    Oldest couldn’t latch at all, second one- only with a nipple shield. Those things are a PITA because they fall off if the kid falls asleep (you know, about 30 secs after latching on). Then they won’t stick unless you get up to wash them. The annoying thing is that there isn’t even anything *wrong* with my nipples- they’re normal!

    Pumped to no avail and finally dried up after about three weeks (both times). I swear if it weren’t for the fact I’m so cheap, I wouldn’t even bother trying with the one coming in August.

    • Manda says:

      I will happily say, though, that I never had a problem seeing my breasts as….multi-use items. :D

    • Andy says:

      Yeah, I have a friend who loved everything about pregnancy and raising her kid, but HATED breastfeeding. You are not alone. @ “if it weren’t for the fact I’m so cheap” Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    • Taylor says:

      Nipple sheilds dont fall off if they’re put on correctly. There are videos on youtube that show how to properly use one, so that after you put it on, it’s hands-free. They are a pain to have to keep with you at all times though, and to have to put on, since to do so properly takes two hands.

  10. Soldi says:

    Aww, that sucks, but each woman is different. Each pregnancy is different and comes with its own boobie baggage to deal with during feeding time. Personally, I’ve had a very distinct feeling between what is baby time and what is “hubby” time. mmm, hubby time.

  11. After my son was born it was very hard to find a balance between food source, object of my husband’s desire and just plain me. Even after the breastfeeding was over it was difficult for me to switch from mom-mode to wife/lover-mode. My husband is a very patient man.

    • andy says:

      Rad. It is a multi-faceted consideration, the triangle you outlined. It went deeper for Lizzie as well since they became soar so it was painful, and they were sort of generally non-erogenous AND it was also weird because they were Lucas’ biological cafeteria.

      Good for you and your patient hubby. :)

  12. Emily says:

    After the birth of our first nearly 2 months ago, my husband is going through the same thing. I forwarded him the link :-)

  13. Claudia says:

    First time commenter! As a BFing mom, I too set those ‘milestones’ of when I’d stop but really, time flies and you REALIZE the benefits of BFing that you really see no reason to stop. My 5 month old will more than likely be nursed until he wants to stop or we plan child #2. Honestly, I wish more men were understanding of the breast and it’s wonderful multi-use; I don’t prohibit my husband from playing with them, but he knows that their primary function is FOOD and then FUN. He’s pretty awesome so we don’t even have issues with it :)

  14. Annie-Pierre says:

    I don’t understand why it was’nt possibe to both think boobs as sex’n’food-related ? I breastfeed since 6 years (I had 3 babies and breastfeeded without stopping, but my 2 older girls are not breasfeeding anymore) and I’m steel de same woman with the same breast ! And my relations with my husband didn’t change. The only difference is that there’s milk in my boobs now ! The point is that I don’t understand men and women who think that the problem, the big change in there relation with there wife or husband after a baby IS the breastfeeding… the problem is probably our perception of our body, in particular the woman body, that we offen consider as sexual (and FOR men, like if we were built for the sexual pleasure of men), but our body is powerful, it gives life and feed babies AND give/have fun ;). So why did you and your wife needed to separate our female body functions ? Because everything exist in the same time, we always are powerful and sexual persons… don’t need to stop breastfeeding to see and feel that. We never are the property of our husband and of our baby. Your text make me think that we are owned by one or the other, but, we own our body and never are the property of somebody else… that’s why we can be mother, friend, and sexual partner at the same time (not the SAME same time loll). (sorry for my English…)

    • Christina says:

      I won’t speak for Lizzie, but for me there is a difference when breastfeeding vs not when it comes to my sex-life.

      Having full breasts HURTS when pressure is put on them. Where that would just adjust the positions we use for the sex-life, its complicated by just not feeling sexy in general…being uncomfortable then meets every other negative effect breastfeeding has on the female libido (not to mention the birth control that you may or may not be on) and sex just isn’t THAT enjoyable.

      So then you wait for the deflated boob that happens after feeding. And then the nipples (depending on your and/or child’s success) are sore, you don’t want them touched.

      They really aren’t as much of a sex object to many women when breastfeeding. Its just a matter of comfort. Not completely associations or cultural perception.

      I’m a boob girl. My boobs play a heavy role in fore-play with the hubby. I LOVE them being played with. That being said, the last thing I want when my breasts are full is to have a “massage” and the last thing I want after feeding is a “tease”. And the leaking?

      Seriously… I feel so much less like a sex goddess and way more like mother earth. All fat with my large boobies hanging out my shirt the majority of the day.

      At least your eyes get to feast more during breastfeeding than normal…

  15. Stacey says:

    I completely empathize with your wife. Our son is fast approaching two years old, and I love nursing him, but at the same time, lately, I have been having the same feeling of the life being literally sucked out through my nipples. To wean or not to wean…

  16. Paige says:

    My son is 3 weeks old, I nurse him but my boobies aren’t off limits! My other half loves my new boobs so much he can’t keep away from them (when the baby is asleep, of course!). He knows he needs to be careful though, getting water-gunned by a milky boob when he squeezes it too hard proves to be a turn-off to him haha. My breastfeeding goal is 2 years too.

  17. Kim says:

    I was weirded by my husband trying to grop me while I was breastfeeding. I dunno I was in the mindset, that “this is for the baby, it’s food for the baby now. Eww don’t touch me Fool.” My husband finally got “his boobies” back after I weaned my third and last kid in October. She was almost 2. Ha. SO I bet he felt the same way as you did. For Christmas he got a trophy for me that read, “Thanks for the Mammaries 2004-2011″

  18. Momof4point5 says:

    This is hilarious and so true. With my first baby, when my milk came in, my breasts were the size of large grapefruits & touching in the middle (think Playboy bunny boobs) and as I was walking down the hallway with a button down pj shirt on (unbuttoned because they were just so big & painful) my husband walks towards me, his eyes were as big as my newly milk filled boobs….we laughed, and I told him…”Don’t even think about it!” They were so big and full, I could’ve bounced a quarter off of them…It was so painful at first, I couldn’t conceive of having him look at them, let alone touch them…like someone else mentioned once the initial trigger happy boobs settle into a more normal milk making routine, we both enjoyed my new and bigger breasts. I was a bit embarrassed that I would spontaneously combust in the middle of making love, but after we talked about it, and he told me he didn’t care, things went alot better. The same for the others and now fast forward to 3 1/2 mths prego with baby #5 and my breasts started growing from the minute I knew I was pregnant….I feel sexier when I’m pregnant, I believe it’s a combo of things from a little “I am woman, hear me roar” at the fact that I’m growing another human being in my body and the fact that my nice B cups turn into almost D cups by the time I’m having/nursing a baby…it’s very empowering, and my hubby can’t keep his eyes or hands off of them, and that is an added bonus…not that he’s any less interested when I’m not pregnant, but the perfect combo of all those things not to mention his pride in the fact that he got me knocked up..LOL….makes for a fun time for most of the pregnancy and a few weeks after I give birth when my doc gives us the ok for sexy time. I’m getting my tubes tied (triple knotted) this time, so I’m looking forward to enjoying sex without the worry that I’ll get prego again…5 is enough! Thank you for this post, I do think it’s an issue that men go through and are torn over because breastfeeding IS best, but most men have a hard time sharing…even with their offspring! HA! ;)

  19. Eve says:

    It’s a lot more fun to have your husband help than it is to pump when your breasts are too full.

  20. Kippie says:

    My hubby feels your pain. I’m slowly weaning my 14-month-old. Last night, hubby held me as I sobbed about weaning because it’s hard to let go. Totally comforting me in spite of the fact that he *cannot wait* to get them back. He’s a keeper. :)

  21. Jena says:

    I nursed my kids for over two years each. They r two years apart so I was nurseing for close to 5 years. I never told my husband he couldn’t have them too. It’s just sharing. Not a problem for us. :)

    • Andy says:

      Good for you guys! Especially the actual guy of the two of you. :)

      Different stokes for different folks, they say. Double meaning, anyone? Hee hee!

  22. Nikhil Ashref says:

    Chief…you nailed exactly the same feelings here..i am a dad of a two year old now and can surely understand what you went thru…

  23. Laurie says:

    I wish I could put my finger on the reason, but this is my second favorite post you have ever done..and again, I am not sure of the exact reason behind my feeling that way, its oddly romantic..Lizzie sounds like an awesome woman and mom! I did however really like it when a while ago she wanted you to have her period, I still think that’s a good idea! I really should comment more than I do, I know that, but I read it and I love it!

    • Andy says:

      Wow! You really should comment more! And I’m not saying that not solely because I’m flattered to pieces. That only accounts for 90% percent of the reason, tops! ;)

      Just out of curiosity, what was the first fave?

      • Laurie says:

        You totally should be flattered! I promise I will comment more, I really do enjoy your posts and I think you are hilarious! I remember laughing out loud reading your post at Easter with the creepy toy, but I think my fave was The one you named “she’s mine”..my dog behaves the same way whenever my husband hugs me or even touches me for that matter..I am in NO way comparing your son to a dog, just the same type of reaction..Do you like the fact that women read your blog? Obviously I am a girl, in my early 30’s..

        • Andy says:

          Yay! I liked the Easter post and She Is Mine. I get such a kick out of people telling me what they liked best.

          We absolutely love women on our website. In fact, statistically, there are more moms/women that come to our site than dads/men. And that’s kinda rad by our figuring. We’re called How To Be A Dad, but that’s more of a jest than anything, and we like to think of ourselves as an entertainment website for parents. We hope at least. ;)

          • Laurie says:

            Well I am so glad to hear that, not that I would have stopped reading or anything! Thanks for chatting with me Andy, it’s been a pleasure!

  24. Katherine says:

    Hehe….Atleast you admit to this and got past it. Part of me is a little peturbed that you were really B@@b jealous but I recognize that you are a man and men can’t control their feelings anymore then we can. Atleast you kept your grabbers in check and didn’t ask her to wean before she or bub was ready. I have to say as an ‘extended’ breastfeeder myself, I was always able to destiguish the too. Not to be too TMI but my fully lactating breasts still play a big role when we (my partner and I) are intimate (the few times that actually happens lol) Maybe next go around, having been there done that, you can try to incoorperate them as the amazing dual funtioning organs that they are….as long a wife is ok of course.

    • Andy says:

      Hah! You make me sounds like a boobaholic or something. Hmmmm. Maybe it’s harder to understand my view since you were active with yours in your relationship. I think it should be flattering to my wife. Imagine if I had been weirded out about breastfeeding like some men are and been repelled by them, avoiding them. That’s not a girl’s favorite thing I imagine. ;)

      • Katherine says:

        Most men are boobaholics lol I forgive you ;) My peturbed feeling is the knee jerk reaction similar to the “I can’t believe you’re going there” look. I love your blog, it makes me smile and you both are overall supportive of breastfeeding which is grand. You’re right, a lot of dads are not and some go as far as to try and BAN their wife from doing what’s healthiest for their child because THOSE ARE HIS! *in my man voice* Some moms even feel that way and it disturbs me. I just shared the Breastfeeding: Suck it post on my FB with the comment, ” I <3 Dad Lactivist. My comment here was a compliment I assure you.

      • Rebecca says:

        I know exactly how you feel…Hubby wanted nothing to do with my tatas and all I wanted was for him to play with them because theu were not sore at all! I guess that makes ME the boobaholic in this equation *deep sigh of commiseration and understanding* lol

  25. Nicole says:

    This reminds me so much of my husband! Love it!!

  26. mo says:

    LOL, I love this post! The robotic arm in the middle of the night was so me! Though my boobies had joint custody, with about 90% baby custody and 10% husband custody. But he sure knew better than to pester me about weaning. I’ve heard my looks really can kill.

  27. BFMama says:

    Wow, were they 100% completely off limits for the whole 2 years? Does that also mean you never got to taste the milk (if you wanted to, that is)?

    I, much like the first commenter, found heightened sensation for a time. There was actually about a 3-month window where, when it was sexytime, I needed only a little attention elsewhere. (I didn’t have exactly the same reaction when it was feeding time – I was able to compartmentalize mom vs wife time.) Lucky for me, my DH found it quite nice to be able to have a snack in the middle of…things…and I had plenty to go around.
    Now I’m 9 weeks preg with babe #2, and babe #1 (2 yrs last month) seems to be weaning, mostly due to the fact that the milk is gone. I actually think my husband might be looking forward to sharing with the new nursling, since I’m willing to let him share.

    • Andy says:

      Maybe more like 95%. Ha ha! I’ll admit I did taste breast milk. I’ll eat anything, no way I was going to miss seeing what mother’s milk tasted like. I think it would have been really fun if her boobs had been like yours and the first commenters, but it wasn’t the be all end all. I just missed the dang things because they were amazing and I couldn’t have them.

  28. Yvonne says:

    We’re the opposite! I want my husband to have booby-fun, but he won’t go near them! It’s ‘No, those are Anna’s!”

  29. Various reactions throughout reading this post:
    1) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
    2) She made it THROUGH the stress, tears, freaky pumps, and late-night calls to the midwife, and carried on?! Lizzie is even more of a Goddess in my eyes. I didn’t. If I’m lucky enough to get to do it again, I’ll be calling her.
    3)HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA sucker! (Directed at Andy. Pun intended.)
    4) Phew.

  30. meagan says:

    I can honestly say my hubby got very lucky. i have been breastfeeding for nearly 9 months now and have never told him my boobs were off limits! We did wait the full 6 weeks this time to return to sex but that was more due to the fact my son tore my cervix slighty. Everything is fine and I healed perfectly, in fact we have discussed another baby :) I love breastfeeding but all women are going to feel differently about how to balance the boobs as a food source and sexual items lol

  31. Amanda says:

    Im breastfeeding my one year old currently but i dont plan on continuing past 2 (hoping he sealf weans before then). I dont think extended breastfeeding wrong though as the human body was designed to nurse 4 to 7 years. I dont understand why a breastfeeding woman doesnt want her breasts touched. Breast touching is part of foreplay its essential :) I only had an issue while he was a newborn because they would leak pretty bad. Once he was 1 1/2 months and i quit spraying my boobs were fair game to my honey. Yes breasts were feeding my son but when they werent and we did the deed they were used for their other purpose. I know the milk twins’ sexuality isnt their purpose but they still need to be used lol.

  32. Lyn says:

    Since nursing, if my husband never touched my boobs again, I’d be thrilled. I wish I didn’t feel that way, I really, really do. Hoping it will get better now that my little guy is weaned…

    • Andy says:

      Through my wife and hearing all kinds of stories, I think I understand as much as a man can. See the comment right below this one for encouragement. There are other ways to be special with each other.

  33. Katherine says:

    The way I saw/see it…every body part can be used in a sexual context. Hands good lord think of all that they are used for in sex but we still use them for everything else. Mouth, Legs, Feet, ect someone somewhere has used them during intercourse. Funny story, when my LO was older she actually offered my other boob to her dad, innocent gesture ofcourse but flipping hillarious.

    • Andy says:

      Abso-flipping-lutely hilarious!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

      And you’re right about the other body parts. Like a blind person developing a keenness with their other senses, without the boobs, other parts came into play a lot more than before.

  34. Tana says:

    My husband pointed me to this website because of the co-sleeping instructional diagrams and this article made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself…..just thought you should know. Now I can stop ignoring the constant question from my 4 year old “Mommy, why are you crying AND laughing?”

  35. luis says:

    I´m a dad of a 5 year old (boy) a 2 year old (girl) and a 9 month old (girl) to both our sadness Cristy´s milk went away for each after 6 months but she never restricted access and I was cool with it, the ocasional squirt or gulp of milk was not a problem when my mind was in other bussiness

    it actually tasted good, very sweet; so after reading all this I feel grateful that she never locked the boobies

  36. Me says:

    A sad commentary on the priorities of man…. child’s well being….boobs. YAY for mankind.

  37. Erin says:

    Just found your all’s site about two weeks ago and its funny as hell :) my husband and I don’t have any children yet We are waiting till he gets back from deployment and then we will see what happens, but I told him about you guys and we will definatly be reading you page when the time comes, makes us giggle uncontrollably (in good fun of course!)
    In the meanwhile reading all this is helping me get a better understanding of what to expect!
    AWESOME AWESOME PAGE!

    • Andy says:

      Thanks! We’re always touched by how many servicemen and spouses comment in. The long distances/times away must be so difficult for some, so it’s extra special radness when we hear we’re giving military couples a fun time. :)

  38. zora says:

    *can relate to LIesbet, Lori and Christina.
    sad to say, my sex drive seems below average when not pregnant/breastfeeding… and when i was breastfeeding: that was my sex! no wonder, because your body is pumped up to the brim with love hormones (oxytocin) that make you bond with the baby and are actually the ones you produce after orgasm… so: why would i want sex if i have that 6-8 times a day? and the times i wasn’t in breastfeeding heaven, i was just tired or needing to do nothing because WE HAVE A BABY!
    BUT i also love my husband and am flattered by his desire for my body (after witnessing birth, still!). so, we figured out, um, other ways to make us both happy and content, that would not include my breasts. and since i’ve weaned, sex has become even better. sometimes so good i feel weird that we are a married couple with a kid. those aren’t supposed to have such great sex, are they?

  39. Bianca says:

    I have the opposite problem! My husband’s too scared to come near my breastfeeding boobs during sexy time! :-(

    • Andy says:

      It’s wild how it’s different for everybody. I want to say “What! C’mon! What’s wrong with him!?!” but I don’t want to create static in your marriage. Uhhhh… wait, I just did say that. Keep on trucking, you’re doing something wonderful. ;)

    • msarian says:

      i am in the same boat.Hubby won’t come near them:(

  40. srfuller says:

    I don’t get it. So your wife’s breasts were off limits? That was her decision? Man my wife and I enjoyed those big beautiful full breasts till the very end. She loved it, I loved it, there was plenty boob for everyone to go around. Baby gets the meals, daddy gets the dessert. Mommy needs lotion? Yes I will. Need a message? Gladly. Oh no they are full and you forgot your pump…let me help with that. Granted we are w bit kinky, but come on how many times will she be pregnant? Gotta enjoy them while you can!

  41. dovely says:

    i’m still nursing my 14 month old and i’m DREADING weaning. it really is super emotional. access to my mamms by my husband was granted after after 3-4 months, they were just way too sensitive before that point. plus breastfeeding affects my sex drive in general, it’s hormonal. so the less i nursed over time, the better my boobs felt and my libido would increase. they are now an integral part of our sex life. things also got better at the 10 month mark when the rugrat finally started sleeping through the night! my husband wants me to wean, but i think mainly b/c he considers it ‘weird’ at my baby’s age. i disagree and b/c possession is 9/10s of the law – i win. i will continue nursing until baby weans herself. thanks for (re)posting this. GO LIZZIE!

  42. edge says:

    My Li’l Moonshine is on her 31st month of breastfeeding and I am on wit’s end. I love that her Momma is so dedicated to breastfeeding but I’d love it more if she could squeeze (I just know there’s a pun in there somewhere) in a little more daddy-time. That said, I’m proud of my girls and every breastfeeding mom out there.

  43. Joanna says:

    I nursed my first until 3 and my 2nd just turned 2 and still going.

    Give your wives a few minutes between nursing and booby groping so she can reset a bit… a back rub or something instead might help (or maybe that is just me). Most women I know don’t have a good on/off switch and sometimes (often) get “touched out” during the course of a day and need some time to not be touched before sexy time… of course often falling asleep time seems to sneak in there first before sexy time…

    I can tell you that as you pass 2 and approach 3 the amount of nursing declines and you can also begin reducing the time even if dedicated to child led weaning.

    I highly recommend the book Mothering Your Nursing Toddler for all you ladies (and DADS!) nursing up to a year and beyond. Not sure if you want to wean, or how, or why or what is normal at these “older” ages? You will totally find good information about all of that in that book (hope it is ok to mention it, I am in no way associated, just found it so very helpful).

  44. Rebecca says:

    Iknow this is a bit off kilter, but when I wasnt pregnant boobies were fun for hubby, pregnant he would not go in a 3 foot radius of those milk-guns. but my 17month old daughter who only nursed for 3-4 months, If she sees them she has to squeeze them lol I just look at hubby and say” well we know where she got that from” he thinks it’s hillarious lol

  45. My poor husband. He really has been a great sport. In less than two months it will have been three years since he had complete access to these glorious breasts but alas, our child has taken them and claimed them for his own. Our little one offers to share every now and then but that’s not enough boobie time for Daddy. When he does have access, somehow he’s not “feeling it” (figuratively and literally). It’s just not the same if it’s not his idea I guess. He is beyond ready to have them back to himself. I can’t say I blame him, they are really great. But he’s happy with the work I’ve done with our little guy and has been extremely supportive and patient. Now if we can just get the little guy to stay off Dad’s computer too we’d be all good. Magic Milk makes them so dang smart.

  46. Lynann says:

    I weaned my son about a year and a half ago and I still can’t stand to have them touched sexually. Unless I’m drunk and then it’s not so bad. My poor husband has had a hard time of it. Pun not intended! My son still hasn’t gotten over the loss of the boobs and at nearly 5 will try to bury his nose in my cleavage if I’m not paying attention. Basically, both males in my house will grope me, but for completely opposite reasons.

  47. Ladyfreckleface says:

    My husband told me once, “I can’t wait until you stop having perma-nip”. He misses my boobies. My boobies miss him, too.

    • Andy says:

      I gotta be honest, “perma-nip” somehow doesn’t sound like a bad thing. I think it’s great that both man and boobies miss one another.

  48. Jennifer says:

    I guess I’m fortunate enough that while I’m feeding my baby I see them as a food source and during sexy time I see them as sexy boobs for my husband. The only time they were “off limits” (and I use that term loosely) was during the first few weeks when they were engorged and painful. Although, I have been told I do swat him away in my sleep, but I’m not responsible for what I do or say in my sleep. hahaha

  49. Jo says:

    My husband couldn’t resist. So he learned how much squeezing he could do without any leaking! Lol! As soon as the leaking would start… He would pout his lip and roll over! Ha! He was so excited when I called it quits at B.F. But it’s still a little awkward for me!

  50. Kat says:

    Breast feeding actually gave my husband an excuse to touch my boobs more! I had so much milk I’d have to pump all the time for relief and when the baby was sleeping they’d swell up and sometimes leak through my shirt, even with those little boob pads they sell. So he’d um, well, he’d help me out a lot. He loved it, I got relief and all was good in the world.

  51. TK says:

    My wife nursed for two years with our first son. After he was weaned, her breasts were an enjoyable part of our private time again for the both of us. But then about a week after she stopped nursing, she got pregnant again. Our second son was born very recently and we’re in an unofficial no-touching period. And like, the boobies are one of my favorite parts. There was a very small window of time when I could have them. But they’re not mine anymore (again). She apologized to me the other day. And while I know there is no reason for her to apologize, that I’m a grown man in charge of my own body who can understand maternal biology, it was nice to hear her acknowledge it, I guess.

  52. Erika says:

    My son is 16 months old and still nursing. I left his dad when he was almost 7 months old and he hadn’t gotten a lot of play time until then either. I would have let him, but I was exhausted, his timing was horrific, and it was hard to feel sexy when the ladies swung between overfull water balloon and deflated icing bag. I’m starting to date again and having someone play with them is going to be a mental hurdle for me to get over, but I’m looking forward to it! Bonus: the guy in having dinner with tonight thinks the idea of tasting breast milk sounds pretty damn hot!!

  53. Michael T says:

    I really love this article. I spent a lot of time researching online to learn as much as possible when my wife decided to bf. I will admit I wasn’t completely supportive at first, mostly for selfish reasons. Ok totally selfish. It was nice to hear my feelings being expressed somewhere. I have come to love the fact that she has done this. I am at a point now that I feel bad for being almost resentful at this point because she has been pregnant or nursing for 5 years and even during break in the times or nursing she hasn’t been able to separate that from a sexual use of her breasts. Anyone else here? Any encouragement? It has gotten better since we have learned how better to discuss it but at the same time based on previous experience, I don’t have much of a hopeful outlook.

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