How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Eagle Rides for Toddlers!?!

Posted by on December 19th, 2012, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Your pants and undies may be safe watching this, but you will crap in your soul for sure.
(Reassuring spoiler: happy ending. Sorry about the spiritual poop mess part, though.)

In the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, giant Eagles play majestic animals that swoop in to the rescue. Um… yeah… this is not one of those eagles. Except for the giant part. And the swooping.

Do you know what about this that I actually love? GRASS!!! Bouncing around and blurry in the camera frame as the person videoing STOPS VIDEOING AND SPRINTS TO HELP!!! As soon as what was happening registered danger: ACTION!

When I come across a video of someone in danger or injured, there’s always a creepy hairs-standing-on-end feeling I get; I realize it’s still rolling, being videoed, and it’s like I’m trying to will the videographer forward, to DO something!

I’m also really glad that this person kept the video recording here though, so we could all see that wide-eyed “HeeeeeeyyywhattheheckwasTHAT!?!” look on those rosy cheeks. And begin breathing again.

(Random tangent: how awkward is the word “videoed” or “videoing”! Pat, can I sell a vowel?)

Anyways. Wow.

Golden Eagle Snatches Kid YouTube Video

I sincerely apologize for any nightmares or newfound hatred for the song ♫ You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings ♫ that sharing this video may have caused. Rest assured the hate mail and scathing comments on social networks will be my ample punishment. At least think about how amazing it is that from now on this kid’s nickname can accurately and honestly be “Eagle Rider.”

So…

Dear Eagle Rider,

Thank you for being okay. I hope you never fully understand how deeply we all thank you right now for just… being okay.

–Andy

Golden Eaglebook
Our Facebook Page does not have a 6-7ft. wingspan. So it’s safe. Sort of.

Instructional Diagrams
Now for super funny happy picture time! Weeeeeeeee!
 

42 Comments

42 Responses to “Eagle Rides for Toddlers!?!”

  1. Emily S. says:

    One time people called me crazy and overprotective for removing my baby and my sil’s toy poodle from the yard when I saw hawks circling. This is my vindication, right here.

    • Lynn says:

      Who said that knows very little about hawks. They are called birds of prey for a reason. They eat small mammals, reptiles and birds. Babies and toy poodles fall into the first category.

      • Andy says:

        The good news is, the video is actually a fake (computer generated), the better news is that it turns out none of my kids are reptiles or birds, so 2/3 safe is doing okay, right? ;)

    • Andy says:

      The good news is, the video is actually a fake (computer generated), the better news is that you care enough to do something as protective as that. :)

  2. Wendi says:

    I believe that’s actually the theme from “Chariots of Fire.” Which I’ve always considered to be the perfect music for toddler-eagle-flight videos.

  3. First or third time, this video still scares the bejeebus out of me. Dude.

    • Andy says:

      The good news is, the video is actually a fake (computer generated), the better news is that regular exercise of the bejeebus can have lasting health benefits. :)

  4. Rosanne says:

    We have bald eagles here–walking with my toddler by one of those on a telephone pole definitely made me think twice. They’re HUGE. I’m glad this toddler’s okay!

  5. Mother Duck says:

    Holy Crapola!

  6. … I’m glad the toddler was too heavy for that eagle. Who let’s their kid sit there when there’s someone with a bird of prey around?! O_O

    • Andy says:

      The good news is, the video is actually a fake (computer generated), the better news is that most people who are dumb enough not to properly see to birds of prey tend to fall victim to birds of prey and thusly don’t pose much of a danger to the rest of us non-bird-of-prey people. :)

  7. Robyn says:

    Holy moly! That is definitely on my list of things you never imagine seeing. So glad the kid is ok.

    • Andy says:

      The good news is, the video is actually a fake (computer generated), the better news is that the makers are in Canada so I can’t get arrested for punching them because they punked me good. :)

  8. Wait. What’s in the backpack? Eagle bait?

    • Andy says:

      The good news is, the video is actually a fake (computer generated), the better news is that eagle bait is really expensive and not likely to be found in the backpack of a toddler. YAY! :)

    • Andy says:

      Fishy? Hmmmm… Seemed kind of birdy to me. HAR HAR HAR!

      The good news is, the video is actually a fake (computer generated), the better news is that I’m done making terrible jokes in this reply. ;)

  9. Eric says:

    But I don’t doubt for a second that it could (probably has?) happen.

    • Andy says:

      The good news is, the video is actually a fake (computer generated), the better news is that… um… holy shit. Bad news alert: you might be right.

  10. Liz says:

    I cannot stop saying “Holy Fuck.” That was a big freaking eagle, and he got that kid off the ground a lot further than I imagined it could. That’s terrifying. So, so glad the kid’s alright. Jeeeezus.

  11. Everly says:

    Holy Mother of God! Backpack leashes now make sense….

    • Andy says:

      The good news is, the video is actually a fake (computer generated), the better news is that backpack leashes can be portable carnival rides for your kids, if you’ve got the upper body strength and a good resistance to vertigo. :)

  12. Melissa says:

    My tummy feels sick after watching that. Bald eagle or not, I would’ve had that bird for dinner! See how he liked being the main course

  13. Liz says:

    OK, never so relieved to hit Snopes and find out something’s been debunked.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/video-shows-eagle-snatching-baby-article-1.1223441

    From the article: A design school in Montreal, Centre NAD, posted on its website Wednesday that both eagle and baby were “were created in 3D animation and integrated in to the film afterwards.”

    Phew.

  14. Jason says:

    My stomach dropped when I saw that. I’ve always had an irrational fear of mother nature grabbing one of my kids. At the beach,…now at the park?!:
    Great. Back to the bubble I live in.
    Just kiddin’.

    Jason
    The Cheeky Daddy

    • Andy says:

      The good news is, the video is actually a fake (computer generated), the better news is that living in bubbles can be super fun, especially if they roll around and stuff! :)

  15. Whoa. The “spiritual pooping” and “random tangent” parts of this post truly made me laugh which definitely helps counterbalance my newly heightened fear of just leaving the house in general. Also, your category “For External Use Only” is just plain awesome. And smart. You have surely saved untold blog readers from painful visits to the ER.

  16. Jon says:

    This video is a fake.

  17. Eric says:

    Lookit Andy on a roll today! :)

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