Dear public toilet designer,
Thank you for developing a toilet that, when flushed, instantly sounds like a jet breaking the sound barrier. Thank you for adding a year to potty training. Thank you for scaring a year off my kid’s life. Thank you for teaching my kid that all of my reassurances that “it’s safe” have been lies.
— No Parent Ever
You’ve probably guessed that my toddler son, Lucas, and I had a run in with one of these. If so, you’ve guessed correctly. I’m not talking about a “row, row, row your boat” whirlpool of a toilet. This was the kind that seems capable of sucking little kids and half the known universe into its roaring porcelain mouth. My son doesn’t care for loud sounds or being sucked into bathroom fixtures.
I could say that it scared the s##t out of him, but it probably scared it into him. Forever. At least for a really long, forever-seeming while.
So, thanks, public toilet designer! And by thanks, I of course mean that I hope your car catches fire on its way off a cliff that forms the edge of a landfill loaded only with dirty diapers.
Learn much lots faster and more bettererly.
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