How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

My Kid Just Said… #10

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[Watching Jurassic Park] “Why do da dinosaurs make da jelly come out of da man?”
-Cody
(2002, 4 years old)
 

Dinosaur Jelly TimeIn this case, of course, “jelly” refers to the fountain of spurting blood and by “man” he’s referring to the guy who was just bitten in half.

Okay. So… sometimes you make mistakes as a fairly new parent. Or even as a veteran parent. Big errors in judgement. The logic of “He just loves dinosaurs soooo much!” can go through a really weird winding path of reasoning that leads to thinking Jurassic Park really will be a great movie to watch together as a family… At four years old.

And then you sit there with a growing ember of guilt and dismay as the faultiness of your logic unfolds before your horrified eyes, all with a musical score by John Williams to drive in the epicness of your FAIL.

For some parenting choices there isn’t enough face and not nearly enough palms for the situation. (sigh)

 

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26 Comments

26 Responses to “My Kid Just Said… #10”

  1. Linda R says:

    Oh dear….

  2. Ged says:

    Is Jurassic Park age appropriate for a 4 year old?

  3. charlotte says:

    my boys 3 and 5 love Jurassic Park. I don’t see all that much wrong with it. There’s not many curse words. And they love to play dinosaurs. Of course these are the same boys who walked in on my and my husband watching The Walking Dead and loved it.

  4. Amanda says:

    Yeah, we scared the crud out of our 2.5 year old recently when we decided it would be fun to watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Things were going pretty well until the scene where the kids are in the woods and the roots come out of the ground and grab them. He completely lost it, let out an ear-piercing scream, and then kept saying “dirty! dirty!” That was the end of that. Now I just hope we haven’t made him afraid of nature, lol.

  5. Yeah – I’m there, sadly, with Cars 2 and my 3yo. He is obsessed with his hotwheels, why not watch Cars movie? Until he starts saying “I want to kill somebody” at random times. We are back to innocent and annoying with Little Einsteins and Curious George DVDs.

  6. yaya says:

    hahahaha That was awesome. This has happened to me many times.

  7. Cobacrtr says:

    I’ll make you feel better! I didn’t realize how loud the tv was up (or how loudly I was yelling at said tv)while playing the video game, “Black Ops 2, Modern Warfare” until my then 3-year-old daughter walks out of her playroom and says, “I just want you to know that the Makarov guy is NOT invited to my birthday party and if he wants cake, he can’t have any!”. My husband and I quickly decided that video games with Russian terrorists are best left for nap time and after the kids go to bed!!

  8. zoe says:

    It is soooo ok to let them know about blood and stuff like that. I’m a semester away from becoming a real live nurse (ooh, ahh) and my kiddo spent nearly two hours grilling me on my OB book. As an aside, I have learned that I am a FAST thinker when pressed. :)

    • Andy says:

      It’s true, but he was really freaked out. There are more effective ways to teach kids about the circulatory aspects of the body without the use of visual aids such as Jaws, Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Jurassic Park. Tee hee! ;)

  9. Kimberly says:

    My almost 4 year old, Justin, thuroughly enjoys watching Bones with me. He knows what falanges, femurs, clavicle means. Working on learning more. He hasn’t said much about the Dead part but frequently runs off with the dogs rawhides claiming a need to check for particulates. I chalk it up to awesomeness- YoGabbaGabba is more of a FAIL! in my book.

    • Christina says:

      Lol…this is AWESOME! My kid watches Bones with me to. Maybe in 6 months, he’ll run through the house shouting about particulates, to.

      Totally ok with a mini Hodgins in my midst.

    • Jess says:

      My 1-1/2 yr old son LOVES Yo Gabba Gabba. In fact…he is crazy in love with that show that he squees when we turn it on and immediately starts dancing and clapping. Now that’s awesomeness! ;)

  10. Ulrich says:

    Next time spend some time before watching, rip the movie and cut all the bad scenes.

  11. Karen says:

    Look I lost mother of the year a long time ago. My 8 year old could sing Alice Cooper before preschool. My 14 year old… infanthood, only Rocky Horror would put him to sleep. I taught them young about fantasy and reality. In K, my youngest saw her first Zombie movie and had already seen Alice Cooper and Meatloaf. I have always previewed things first and we talk. My youngest is also able to see the meaning behind the movies like in Tucker and Dale vs Evil she saw the story about perceptions and stereotypes. One of the school psychologists said if at 7 she could figure that out then she is fine. Don’t kill yourself. I am not mother of the year at all. Never will be, never want to be. As long as my kids are well-adjusted, understand things and we can have fun, OK. My daughter adores Sam from Trick r Treat. My son is in a majorly advanced school program now. When he was five and we were trying to decide if he should be present for his sister’s birth, his teachers had problems. Well I found him one night, snuck out of bed, watching a documentary about childbirth. He asked about the blood and gunk and was fine with the answer. I asked him if the screaming upset him “No, she did not have medicine for her birth, you will have medicine.” Yup… he was ready. Then he also learned how to read the monitors and count contractions. And yes, he made sure mommy had medicine. It is all how you handle it and your individual child.

    • Andy says:

      “It is all how you handle it and your individual child.” It completely is. Kids are all different and in ways all the same. In this instance it just wasn’t really a good learning experience in this case since he was a little freaked out.

  12. Christina says:

    My parents introduced this movie to me when I was about 9? Oh…she LOVES dinosaurs – she’ll love this movie. Yes…now, I do actually LOVE this movie.

    Then? I had some morbid fascination with what the back of our couch looked like.

    My 3 year old hasn’t seen this…and miraculously, given everything else we’ve watched, I’ve never thought about it. We did really like the dino chase in King Kong, though. Not so much blood shed in that and that was really the only scene we watched :)

    • Andy says:

      It’s a classic. Which makes me feel really old to say, but it’s true. I just have to remind myself to think a good film through before playing it for the little one, when it’s right for the age. :)

  13. Ken says:

    Ha! One thinks they are the only one making bad parenting movie mistakes until they stumble across a post like this with all of the comments. SAME THING, SAME MOVIE for me and my little guy. Was MORTIFIED as I watched Jurassic Park with my three year old – glancing over and watching him intently watch the movie like it was the best thing in life. Appears to be OK from the experience, ha. Needless to say, there will be no Batman, Superman, etc. for another decade – I learned my movie lesson with this one. But when Jurassic Park is in theaters in 2014 – he’ll be caught up on the series, ha.

  14. Is it bad that apparently my gut reaction is to respond, “Because he’s deliciousssssssss.” while waving devious fingers around?

  15. Kassondra Boyes says:

    I saw Jurassic Park the first time in theaters just after turning 8- however, before the movie came out, I went to Universal Studios and they already had a Jurassic Park attraction with full-sized animatronic dinosaurs. I thought it was the best thing ever invented and spent the next several years pretending to be a velociraptor. Strangely enough, in some ways I wish my Son preferred stuff like this- but he doesn’t. His favorite TV show is 90210 and he will physically harm anyone who gets between him and the TV if it’s on.

  16. Drew M says:

    I made the mistake of letting my 34 month old son watch me playing Borderlands 2 recently (first person shooter for those not familiar). While I did try to stress to him at the time we were only shooting those people because they were very bad men. A day or two later his daycare asks why he’s pretend shooting everything. D’oh.

  17. sarah says:

    hahahaha. our local science museum is coming out with jurassic park in 3D imax. thought it might be something fun to do with our 4-year-old so, i googled whether or not it would be appropriate and this was the first thing i found.

    awesome. and, thank you. :)

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