This is completely true and unaltered and unbelievable. And yet, totally believable.
One day a friend of mine went insane and decided to clean up the apocalypse of his fourteen-year-old boy’s room. Amid all the aftermath, he discovered something amazing. And since he’s the type of guy who covers this his son’s toilet bowl opening with clear plastic wrap (resulting in an upside-down liquid firework of urine), he decided to share the discovery with me.
It’s a bucket list.
Here’s a scan (followed by more legible text) of an actual teenager’s bucket list:
WARNING: A TEENAGED BOY wrote this. You’ve been warned.
1. Touch a black chicks boob
2. Jerk off with cable
3. do a movie with my uncle, morgan feeman and Jack nicoleson
3. 4. Touch vagina one more time
5. See Rammstein [a German industrial metal band]
6. Touch R↑ hair
7. make the Black guy cry
8. eat pupusas one last time… mmmmm.
9. E = mc☐
Say ms. lake again
11. see pink tits… I love those pinkies. ♡
Talk a whole day like Steven Hawkins
13. Touch a … british chicks ass
For those of you who aren’t familiar: a “bucket list” is a list of stuff you’d like to do before you “kick the bucket” (die), inspired by the movie The Bucket List, starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson.
Some of you may be appalled by this list’s contents, or the fact that I posted it for all the world to see, or the decaying standards of penmanship and proper spelling and punctuation in youth today. BUT I JUST HAD TO! It was too interesting, funny and unique an insight into the mind of a kid at the very end of being a kid.
It’s not quite the sober, well-thought-out set of goals an older person with a heightened sense of mortality would put together. It’s just a snapshot of a post-pubescent moment in this particular teen’s life.
Obviously, whatever they are, the priorities and goals of kids and teens are probably going to be vastly different from much older adults. Most adults, anyways.
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