How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 1

Posted by on August 8th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Ninja Parent Lessons Tickle Attacks Part 1

There are a ton of simple, everyday things we just have to pick up on our own. Learning by trial and error or mimicking someone else can be tricky. And result in us doing really stupid things. Even with tickling.

For parents of ticklish kids, the act of tickling can be a laughter-filled method of playing or lightly “disciplining” their child. Even those without children use it on each other; which can often lead to other activities that result in children. In any case, tickling is worthy of being performed properly. We want to be GOOD at tickling. Sometimes a tickle attack is the best defense… or something less confusing… than that.

Well, let’s face it. Ninjas have been tickling their babies for thousands of years. Their masterful methods are worthy of study if we are to call ourselves well-informed guardians of our children’s welfare and giggledom. That is why I bring you this document, exposing ancient secrets, at risk to my own life.

This is the first set of techniques in a series of the martial art of tickling. Study it well. Master it.

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33 Comments

33 Responses to “Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 1”

  1. Monica says:

    I started with the one hand, then mastered 2. Now I use 1 hand as a distraction like asking my son to give me a high five, and tickle his underarm with the second hand. He falls for this one a lot. =)

    • Andy says:

      That’s a good point I’ll have to write into the next ones. Having an arm free serves two purposed: 1) Diversionary tactic, 2) Deflection of convulsive retaliation.

  2. Xohy says:

    I’ve mastered this art with my 1yo babygirl. It only requires the phrase “who is ticklish?” and a little hand aproach to her “sensitive spots”, without even touching her, and a beautiful storm of giggles and shaking beggins.

  3. Scott says:

    I have mastered the tickle without touching
    (Tickle Ninja 9th degree).
    I just have to point to the area I’m tickling and my kids going crazy.

    I’ve been recording the laughter from my girls tickles and send them as Laugh-O-Grams. Brightens any day up.

  4. the grumbles says:

    Beware the reactionary balls/face kick, which is what I can only assume you were referencing in #1.

    • Andy says:

      That is correct. I’ll have to go into the dangers of tickle battling in greater detail in the future installments. It really is a dire point. Yikes.

  5. Steve says:

    This mastering, such that the mere suggestion or hovering hand induces paroxysms, can also be applied to giving raspberries (thereafter becoming “air raspberries”).

    Raspberries: the original “Whoopee Cushion” of body sounds made by slobbery lips blowing on skin :)

    On the flip side, I have discovered that said paroxysms can be quelled by counting. Start slow, rhythmic elongated-vowel number counting (like Forrest Gump might do with a bag of M&M’s) and the little one stops and stares in rapt attention. I use this trick when fiddling with onesies snaps after a diaper change.

  6. Ag says:

    It’s bad. I know it’s bad. But as I’m reading this I’m chanting in my head, “It’s not supposed to me dirty. Get your mind out of the gutter!” But my husband has been gone on business for three weeks and this momma could really use a “hand of a thousand fingers-fuzz of a peach” combo. Parenthood is just like that sometimes.

    • Andy says:

      OMFG!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! YOU REALIZE THIS IS PART OF A SERIES AND I HAVE 3 MORE SETS TO DO!!!! And now I can’t see ANYTHING ELSE!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  7. nats says:

    I have black belt in tickling– try these
    use a bristly hairbrush to brush their bare soles! but hold on tight or get your ninja team to help – this is the MOST ticklish way to tickle soles

    also try featherlight fingernails crawling like ninja spiders over the bare tummy- also get help to hold them totaly still because this gets more and more ticklish the longer it goes on for- they are usually hysterical and frantic well within the first 5 or 10 seconds so try to keep it going at least a minute but wear ninja ear plugs!

    opinions?

  8. stacey says:

    I’ve managed the Phantom Tickle Technique by grabbing my daughter’s arm and pulling it out straight from her side and making a kind of growling noise as I slowly start moving towards her armpit. I usually catch a knee in the cheek but its part of the fun while she wiggles and squeals. :)

  9. “Even those without children use it on each other; which can often lead to other activities that result in children.” Best line ever. Likely how my three children came into existence.

  10. Mommyme says:

    Hilarious and inspiring! I love the suggestion about brushing a hair brush all over the soles of their feet. I just tried it and it’s in fathomably ticklish. Recommend getting 4 people to help if you want to avoid serious injury and tickle longer than 2 seconds.

    How about some tips as well for the rib massage: where you grip onto both sides of their Ribcage and squeeze/unsqueeze your fingers gently into the ribs repeatedly without letting go.

    • Louise says:

      It helps a lot if you lightly sit on your kids legs with your legs on either side of their hips. Obviously without squashing them. I wouldn’t require it to a baby or todler though. But with older kids whom you struggle with you get to tickle their weak spots freely and safely without getting kicked.

    • Andy says:

      Wow. You’re a master. Fair warning: I’m probably going to add some of this into the series. I don’t know about the hair brush though, I might get into legal trouble with that one. ;)

      • Mommyme says:

        Legal trouble for the hair brush? It’s simply gently brushing their bare soles with a bristly hair brush! Lol. Seriously try it on a few kids bare soles then say what you think of it.

    • Ninja says:

      I just found this series and i have to say its funny. The hairbrush sounds interesting…

    • Ninja says:

      I have to say Mommyme you are truly evil…in a good way. lol

  11. Mel78 says:

    Could you please make a ninja parent lesson about feeding your baby? My baby always turn his head to the other side when I try to feed him. thank you!

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