This is a bee jay.
No, folks, it isn’t actually a real species of bird. I created it for you! To begin illustrating a point, and to possibly offer a much-needed way out for any unfortunate parent who’s kid has said something like this:
“Whu’s a bee jay wook wike? Daddy must wuvs dem. He always whispewing about dem wif Mommy. He eyebwows go up an down.”
You see, nearly every parent has used The Spelling Code around their kid, to encode what they’re saying if the topic is adult, private or secret in nature. It has it’s risks obviously.
The Spelling Code Can Be a Bee-eye-tee-see-ach
Kids learn fast. We freak out with pride and they’re stunned at our reaction. This is where the danger lies. To us, every new little thing they do can be a cherished merit badge, but they’re not likely to announce all their new-found abilities. So, if we don’t pay close attention, we’re going to find out for ourselves by getting a $700 phone bill for calls to China or by having to put out a burning oven mitt with a hastily-grabbed carton of orange juice.
It’s the same with The Spelling Code. Except orange juice can’t help you.
Kids Are Master Code Crackers
Kids are fast learners, driven by an insatiable desire to decipher and understand (in their eyes) “WTF are all these hairy giants barking about?” Just like learning any real word, they can start putting two and two together, and figure out that “dee-eye-see-kay” is the nickname for certain people.
However, The Spelling Code often has nothing to do with anything naughty or snarky. Maybe a parent just wants to avoid creating false hopes or the beg-athon they know they’ll set off by uttering the name of a favorite food, show, person or place. Or not-so-favorite. Bee-ee-dee time!
Be mindful that some times the code cracking is imperfect. The Curious George TV show can become known to the little one as “Ess-ee-ex” if that’s when Mommy and Daddy always take their naked naps together. You get the idea. You’ve got to be careful with how frequently you spell-encode a word and when.
Kids Are Recording Devices
Remember, far before they’re able to spell or understand, like a shopkeeper’s parrot that randomly squawks “dumbass customer,” kids can create mischief with The Spelling Code by replaying what they’ve recorded.
The little one belting out “Pee-ay-ahr-tee-why” can blow a surprise, and there’re few moments as awkward as when they ask Grandma why she’s called “your crazy em-oh-em.”
Mispleling Is Double-Encryption
Sometimes you may feel like dead meat in a spelling bee. Despite feeling like you’re the dumbest tool in the bag o’ hammers, misspellings actually help to make your secret code even more kid-safe. Hopefully it’s close enough that the other adult has any chance of understanding you, but if not, you have the consolation prize of witnessing their profound look of confusion as they try to figure your mangled message.
Whatever you use The Spelling Code for, it’s safe to assume that it’s not intended for kids to understand. Pay attention and use The Spelling Code wisely. They’re clever little nuggets.
Get ready to L your F-ing A off.
Ell-eye-kay-ee Us on Facebook
Shhhhh. It’ll be our spelling secret.