Baby Sleep Positions (1-10)
[ click the image to enlarge ]
Co-sleeping with your baby can be one of the greatest joys or torments of parenting. It’s not for everyone, but for those who have…
Which of these have you experienced? If you’ve co-slept with your baby in bed for more than a day, the better question might be: which one haven’t you experienced?
We decided to put these together into a collection for your convenient viewing pleasure. You see, people (especially parents) love things that come in multi-packs. Our eyes go big with possibility when we see one of those really gigantic, over-sized bulk shopping carts. It just makes things easier and it saves on money, shopping trips and burnt out brain cells. In the case of Baby Sleep Position diagrams, it makes them funnier. Like carpet bombing… erm… uhhh, except with laughter instead of explosions, of course.
Have you already enjoyed the multi-pack?
Maybe you’re now interested in seeing the industrial-sized version of your favorite Baby Sleep Position. No prob. Just click here, scroll down and view next page, to see it in its full glory.
Be on the look out. More Baby Sleep Positions to come!
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Calling All Baby Sleep Positions
Click here to see them larger with all of my babble-typing for each one.
More Funny Diagrams?
Yes. All kinds. LOTS. Enjoy.
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73 Comments
73 Responses to “Baby Sleep Positions (1-10)”
Fix it! Donkey Kong is Doghouse!
Donkey Kong was my favorite… That’s why I caught it
Fixed! My apologies! Ha ha!
wow, TWO doghouses? neat! but how will you distinguish one from the other in conversation?
ARG!!! I have to figure out a way to not work on these so far passed midnight! Thanks for the extra set of eyes.
Lower left should be “The Donkey Kong” love that one lol
AAAAARRRGGG!!! I fixed it! All hail Donkey Kong!
The Lower Left should be “The Donkey Kong” lol I love that one.
Thanks! Donkey Kong loves you too. He’s misunderstood. He just get’s feisty with barrels when he’s hungry and nap-time is approaching.
The Lower left should be “The Donkey Kong” lol I love that one.. so Funny
Thanks for the compliment and the proofreading.
My husband suggested you add “The deodorant” in which the babies head is jammed up in your armpit. My daughter often ends up in that position.
My son used to have a non-baby-scent in the morning because of that one. Rest assured it’s definitely on the list. Ha ha! I’m glad I’m not the only one.
I’m an aunt, not a mom, but I’ve definitely seen “The Neck Scarf” and “The Stalker.” But my nephew’s adorable, and I don’t have to deal with it every night/morning, so I don’t care
What you said applies to so many things. One can tolerate a lot on a limited basis, but every day? Yeeeeah. That’s a little harder. Ha ha!
Lol, I know. I want my own kids, but I don’t know how I’ll ever handle it
Change the doghouse one to the father sleeping on the floor, and you have me.
Ha ha ha ha! There are so many more to do. I fell asleep on the floor once. Never again. My neck was… Let’s just say never again.
My 14 month old and my husband do the neck scarf until she doesn’t want him anymore and then we do the Dog House.
LOL! It’s so bad but so good.
Yeah it was great until we ended up with 2 cats who chase each other all night. Now DH gets no sleep
Awesome!!! My favorite one is “the dog house” all because of “the roundhouse kick” and “The neck scarf”
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! It does make that couch a hell of a lot better.
I just experienced the “8 month sleep regression” which is basically where your baby starts practicing crawling or in my case trying to stand up from a crawl in her sleep about every 20 minutes with bonus screaming. I tried to sooth her back to sleep to find out that she actually was asleep, but attempting to sleep walk. who needs sleep?
Sleep is for weaker people! Right!?! Okay. I’m trying to convince myself more than anything.
Hand up for the “deoderant”!
Definitely. Stay tuned.
LOL there is truth to that one. Especially the booby trap , H for hell, roundhouse and the scarf. been there done that and still occasionally going through it again even with a 6 year old .
Those are always the coziest co-sleeping adventures, the ones you have with your kid (not baby). Cozy like a can of sardines.
this is so good!
Thanks! We’re allergic to bad here, so that works out really nicely.Swelling, itchy eyes, it’s pretty awful. I won’t say any more.
My wife and I both had a big laugh about this because when our daughter sleeps in the bed we experience a combination of at least three of the Jazz hands being the most regular. We both appreciated this graphic and I have added your Site to my feeds.
Thanks,
Meir
That’s rad! Thanks for the compliment and adding us to your feed. We’ll try to keep it delicious and organic.
All except “I’m not speaking to you”
And Booby Trap is a favourite.
You’re a pro. I got the Booby Trap a LOT. Does that qualify as favorite?
Doghouse all the way! Only way I can get enough sleep to function at work.
Totally know what you’re talking about. I learned that threshold fast, how much sleep I needed in order to function. Sorry how little.
My two year old introduced me to a new position yesterday morning – the Facehugger- his entire body on my face like an alien exoskeleton looking for a host. What a way to wake up!
Game over, man! GAME OVER!!!
BRILLIANT!!! We moved our baby son to a crib beside our bed a few months ago, which doesn’t keep him from ninja-ing into our bed every sunrise just to keep up the practice of some of his old co-sleeping styles. He particularly enjoys bed-torturing his daddy.
“Ninjaing.” Best new verb ever!
You need to add the “The Pillow-Hogger” kind of like the “The Neck Scarf” but where the baby confiscates your pillow to sleep on top of it and you are left all night without a pillow
I love this! So funny, I have sleep wars with both my 5 month old boy Logan and my almost 3 year old Corben! It’s a mission to get any sleep, half the time I just let them (Corben and their dad) have the bed, put Logan in his cot if he doesn’t want a feed and have to sleep in a Thomas the tank engine toddler bed! Some nights I will battle and get Corbie in his bed, but I usual wake up with his feet in my face. To be honest, I think you have to just enjoy it, laugh at it. One day they will be grow ups, and won’t want to even have a cuddle I bet. Plus me and their dad are looking forward to when their teenagers, so we can get them up at 6 and 7am ( aww payback haha) we probably won’t as we’re been making up for years of sleep lose!
Oh I’m a sucker for the mutil pack wipes, it seems you need a sea of them! Love your blog BTW.
I laughed so hard I cried! So funny!
We are doing the deodorant right now and every night lol
Glad I found your site
This is a bit sad.
Mom and dad sleep giving their back one to the other in most cases. I sleep facing my husband, or he spoons me, or i just snuggle under his arm. We sleep better when we are together.
And I hope that even after having a baby we will continue being a couple, so no, thanks, i am not sleeping in the bad with the baby and he alone on the couch. The baby can stay in the same room when he/she is small, but in their bed.
It’s a nice thought to think that you can still snuggle with your husband in bed even after having a baby… but it’s not realistic. I always said that baby would sleep in his crib and never in our bed, but he starts in his crib and come morning he’s in our bed. The stalker is my favorite! Now that our son is 18 months we see the neck scarf and h is for hell way to often.
Ha ha! Thanks. Realism and parenting get together real fast after the baby comes.
I think you need to add one (or more) for toddlers who have their own beds but end up in mom & dad’s bed sometime in the middle of the night. This morning I woke up with not only an extra person (our two-year-old), but also two baby dolls, a bunny and a giant alligator. What woke me was being whacked in the nose by the freakishly hard baby doll head. Good times.
Well said! Be on the look out, this series is by no means finished or complete. Stay tuned!
I can’t stop laughing at this! My husband and I co-sleep with our nine month old daughter and can totally relate to these, especially “H is for Hell.” The worst part is that we don’t even have a queen size bed, it’s just a full.
Thanks for sharing/creating this!
The BEST- thank you for several good laughs. My daughter did all but our boy is only a stalker or Donkey Kong. You should sell these as posters on fab.com
Pretty much all of these! But Snow Angels & Booby Trap were particular fav’s of my daughter. Another, which isn’t here yet, but I’m sure is earmarked, is “The Pacman”. Which I suppose is a combination of all of these. Wherever you move to on the matress, your still being chased. Memories huh!
I know this is old, but I just got sent here from crappypictures. We don’t co-sleep, but occasionally we bring DS into bed for various reasons. It’s maybe a once or twice a month sort of thing.
The most recent times we’ve brought him in, I’ve experienced the neck scarf. It is hilarious…and awful. I’ll move him out of the way and he’ll find his way up to my neck or head. I actually saw this graphic a few months ago and thought the neck scarf seemed really implausible but now it’s DS’s favorite way to go if we’re in bed together. And it’s always me, not DH.
I also came by from crappy pictures…and got a great laugh!! The comment about the baby doll whack by mollie is great!! I can so relate!! I have 7 kids in which 5 have slept with us or on us!!
HI Andy..
what about head banger – the little one gets up in the dark and then cant figure out where the pillow is and goes bang on your forehead when he heads down.
I have taken to sleeping cowering under my arm to avoid this post sleep trauma/concussion.
Hello! Ha ha ha! Baby heads are HARD! Yeah, that’s on the list. It may take a while but you’ll see that one some day.
Also found you through crappypictures.com – this post is so hilariously — and painfully — right on, I forwarded it to several friends who are expecting … it’s only fair they should be prepared for what’s to come. I also support adding “The Deodorant” as I’m a co-sleeping, side-lying-nursing-during-the-night-mom, and that’s exactly what happens at my house.
Thanks for the chuckles, keep it up!
You are most welcome! The Deodorant is on the list of upcoming positions.
I also came over from Crappy Pictures. The stalker is my favourite. Still laughing. Thanks for that!
My pleasure.
Welcome to our site!
This is so great! I’m passing it on to all the parents-to-be that I know.
I have to add one – I call it “The Octopus”. My daughter spends the entire night rubbing my face with both of her hands. I have to repel her like a lovesick zombie, but she keeps coming back. Maybe “Lovesick Zombie” would be better.
hilarious. the Deodorant definitely happens in our house; and H is for Hell too – though the bar for the H is further up, usually around face level. Roundhouse Kick too. Great stuff, has me in stitches…
Brilliant!! I love this SO much!! I think we have experienced nearly all of those in our house over the years. How can someone so little take up SO much room!?!!?!
x Sannah
lol…this is freaking amazing… love all the positions… what do you think about this?
Stalker is my favorite…. visit #happymummyhappybaby on facebook for some good laugh…
so hilarious. our 5-month old would definitely fit in the “deodorant” category every night, and jazz hands or snow angels quite often. I’m sure some of the others are on the horizon
One should be “Everything but the kitchen sink”. In with me right now for nap time is me, 1 month old daughter, 1 greyhound, 1 dachshund, and one very fat cat. Animals and baby have entire bed, I’m curled up with half of me hanging off. Can’t imagine what it would be if husband was also in bed.
Haha!
My baby sleeps with her head right in my husband’s armpit lol! Also she does the ‘H’ lower cause she’s between our calves. She also does this thing where she crawls the perimiter of the bed trying to find a decent spot, it’s so funny
Hilarious! I have seen all 10 of these positions.
Ahhh, a pro. Welcome, brother.
We typically have a modified H… with the horizontal line high enough to kick one face and hands on the other.
We call the Neck Scarf the Lincoln Log Snuggle in our house. The annoying thing about all of these sleep positions is tha we have a King sized bed, but the baby insists of only torturing me with these positions while daddy sleep just fine :/
Am i so abnormal that i didn’t have these problems? Ex used to sleep behind, spooning, me in the middle & daughter in front of me with easy access to the milkbar = no wanderings at night!
I did experience some of these with cats & dear BF though.
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