How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Booger Nutrition Facts

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Booger Nutrition Facts Ingredients Dietary Health Instructional Diagram

We wrote about the controversial topic of booger eating before, but because of wild public demand we decided to showcase the dietary considerations of boogers as an Instructional Diagram.

What are boogers made of? Is it okay if you or your kid eats them? Will they cause sickness? Or blindness like some old people say? Are they part of a balanced diet or the equivalent of drinking sweat or eating your own feces? Well, we don’t really know. But those last two are pretty damned gross, so don’t do that or we’re all going to start puking all over this website.

It’s possible these questions will never really be answered to everyone’s satisfaction and end the heated debate. We can only present you with some of the facts so you’re informed from a nutritional stand point and can pick your own… answer.
 

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36 Comments

36 Responses to “Booger Nutrition Facts”

  1. For kids under the age of 4, I’m pretty sure they are part of a balanced diet.

    At least they are organic.

  2. Desiree says:

    This is awesome. I’m tweeting. Hahahahahaha!

  3. Bahhahahaha. & yes Heather is so right — they are a pretty standard part of the diet for kids 4 & under :)

  4. Melinda says:

    When I was in nursing school, I read a paper by a physician in Australia who postulated that eating boogers could actually serve as a primitive form of immunization. Boogers often have dead/dying viruses in them, which is what we get injected into our system when we get shots.
    So when Junior chows down, he may be improving his health.
    Um, yeah…
    I’ll stick with those hypodermic needles, thanks.

    • andy says:

      That is both brilliant and gross. I love it. Ha ha!

      Yeah, we were going to mention the enzyme that is protective, but we knew couldn’t put any curative attributes on the label without risking getting hammered by the FDA. You’re not allowed for your product to work, be beneficial or be totally nutritious without some harmful additive or taxation.

  5. Hey when did booger eating become “controversial”? What else am I supposed to do when stuck in traffic?

    As always, well done funniness, guys!

  6. Dad with a two and one year old says:

    Haha. Really interesting point in the natural immunizations. I might take up this healthy habit.

  7. Jack's Dad says:

    I’m a scientist, and I’ve heard about the beneficial effects of booger eating as well (and poop eating…lots of great microbes in there!). Just wanted to stop by and say I really appreciate what you guys are doing. I’m just getting started down the SAHD/Blogging path, and think you guys kick it!

    • andy says:

      Ha ha ha ha! WHAT!?! I can get the concept of the benefits of boogers and yes, even urine… well maybe not benefits, but I’ve ready that you can drink your own urine for about 8-10 days before it will kill you from uric acid getting into the blood stream (from explorers who braved the wastelands of Australia). But poop!?! Are you sure you haven’t been watching too much “exotic” Japanese porn?

      Wait a sec! A scientist? Of the science of crazy? Ha ha ha ha!

  8. Jack's Dad says:

    Nope, seriously. All of your gut microbes (which are essential for your digestion, can make you skinny or fat, etc) are derived from your mom’s poop and elsewhere. They’re even getting into poop transplants for particular infections. http://www.slate.com/id/2282768/

    Yep, leave it to a nerdy scientist to take a fun post and turn it dorky!

  9. Kat says:

    Hmm. I have never seen my kid eating boogers, but perhaps should encourage it. Even if the only benefit is driving his dad crazy. hahahahahahahahahahaha.

  10. Desiree says:

    OK, you people gross me out.

  11. Brianjo789 says:

    I will have to hide this from my son he swears that there is nutritional value in boggers!

    Thanks for a great end of the day chuckle. Do you think I can discuss this with the family over dinner?

    BJ

  12. Jason Greene says:

    This is great! Now I know what to do if I’m ever stranded somewhere without food and water. Next time I see my kids fishing should I invite them to look for seconds?I’m granola like that.

  13. stubz says:

    Lol! Delicious and nutritious.

  14. Kimberly says:

    Brilliant and hilarious as always! Atomic fallout is an ever-present danger.

    I think I traumatized my now-2.5-year-old to the point of never even touching her own nose after I bad-mouthed a snot-sucking child within her earshot. You know the kind I’m talking about? The ones who have colds/allergies/deformed nasal cavities that allow for a constant stream of semi-viscous fluid to run out of their nostrils 24/7, and rather than wiping it away on the back of their hands or sleeves like normal toddlers, they just wait until the tips of the drips reach their upper lips, then suck so hard it looks like they’re trying to drink milkshakes through coffee stirrers? Yeah, I jokingly-ish mocked one of those kids while riding in the car with my daughter, son, and husband. I think my description (a lot more visual than the abridged version above) scarred my daughter for life. I’ll catch her touching her face, and she’ll exclaim, “I not picking my nose, Mama! Promise!”

    • Lacey S says:

      That made me laugh AND squeak EWWWWWWWWWW at the same time! I’m sorry for your daughter, but it’s all for the best… my son does the snot sucking (he’s 18-months, so I can’t scar him into stopping yet…) and it’s GROSS!!!

  15. […] Howtobeadad.com consistently puts out good material and is one of the best dad blogs out there. If you are a dad long enough, you will eventually see your kid eat his boogers.  Don’t fret, the guys at Howtobeadad.com have listed all the booger nutritional information in a handy instructional diagram called Booger Nutrition Facts. […]

  16. Isaac says:

    And how do you know she’s pregnant again?? She did laugh @ the booger facts she got nauseous :/

  17. Mike C says:

    Ok. Where is the t-shirt for this? I want one.

    • andy says:

      We actually have it in the store, but its freaking out and we’re trying to debug it.

      Hey! you can actually help decide the fate of this shirt! Quick questions:

      1) Which do you prefer, the expanded one in this post or the original simpler version?

      2) Front of back of the t-shirt?

  18. Mike C says:

    Okay, so if you are only going to do the one side, I say do the simpler version on the front (that way when people see the wearer picking his/her -scratch the ‘her’, they supposedly don’t do that- nose, those people will know that the nose picker is just procuring sustenance and is not being crude in any fashion.) Plus, it seems that my two year old’s boogers always end up on the front of his shirt.

    If you do both side, do the simple version on the front and the ingredients, etc. on the back.

    Either way I would by the ‘simple front only’ or the ‘front/back full info.’ Thanks.

    • andy says:

      Thanks! I think we’ll go with the simple one on the front. We’re thinking of doing the simple breast pocket and full back for Zombie vs Baby (with just their heads on the front breast pocket area). It all depends on what the store can do since they produce the shirts. Thanks again!

  19. Les says:

    *gag* My god, everything has *gag* sodium in it!

  20. Jimjam66 says:

    There’s always been a simple rule in our house. Any mining which is not *immediately*followed by an offer to share the spoils with dad is banned. Sadly, my daughter took this to mean that when she is all out she could go mining in dad’s nose. Quite embarrassing as it happened in company and got both of us some odd looks …

  21. chantelle says:

    What about kids that bite their toenails off?

  22. Frank Sturgeon says:

    Hahahaa! “Servings in a nose 8″ hahaha that’s great!

  23. what the actual fuck is this?

    • Andy says:

      This is an entertainment website for parents or anyone who’s been a kid and had parents, or picked their nose and chowed down. This post is a look at the nutritional value of boogers for the sake of humor.

  24. Joel says:

    I’m a 27 y/o male, and I pick my nose at eat it all the time (I’m single). Boogers are frickin delicious, they’re salty and have a variety of wonderful textures. It’s good to know I’m getting some protein while potentially boosting my immune system. Thanks for the article! I’ll be looking in the store for that shirt.

  25. I needed these nutrition facts for when I was kid counting my calories! Oh wait, I never counted calories…probably why I was far from skinny. Either way, great post!

    I actually just read an article claiming that eating boogers might boost our children’s immunity! Score! Here’s the link – http://www.naturalnews.com/038273_children_eating_boogers_immunity.html

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