How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

The Wanted

Posted by on July 24th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Finn, this weekend after I put you on a timeout you said to me, “You don’t want me anymore?” If I never hear those words again in my life it will be too soon. We talked about why you thought that, what it means to be an older brother and then I asked you a […]

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Scareded – Scrabble Scribble #10

Posted by on July 23rd, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

  The most innocent things can backfire on parents. There’s really no “winning” with kids. No sure formula. What was delicious today may be the worst thing they’ve ever eaten tomorrow. A lullaby might send them to sleep or to the mad house. Seriously. I laughed at my son’s joke the other day and he […]

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A Guide to Kid Fibs (Illustrated)

Posted by on July 22nd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

The rad people at The Honest Company helped us bring you this post because DUH, honesty is the best policy.   Kids are little lying sacks of giggles. It doesn’t mean they’re evil or you’ve raised them wrong — they seem to learn it automatically, like breathing, apparently. There are all kinds of reasons kids […]

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My Wife Just Said… #170

Posted by on July 21st, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Out at dinner. Arden’s having the special.” -Avara   It’s as if my baby boy knows exactly what to do when someone looks at him or takes a picture. He burns so brightly from inside. Lit from within. And shines through the eyes. A while back I wondered how different Arden would be from Finn. It’s […]

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Play Games… WITH PIZZA!

Posted by on July 18th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  The DiGeniuses at DiGiorno® helped us bring you this post, but the ideas are purely the symptoms of my own hunger and insanity and are intended for entertainment purposes only. Please operate pizza responsibly!   It’s generally agreed that kids shouldn’t play with their food. This probably comes from the fact that kids’ hands […]

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“Coffee Table” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old

Posted by on July 18th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

The stuff kids can get attached to can surprise any parent, and it’ll quickly teach them that it’s best to clean house when the little one’s are away. You see, for kids, there can be a really fine and blurry line between something like a beloved family pet of years and, well, any ol’ inanimate […]

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6 Tips for New Dads

Posted by on July 17th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

We DEFINITELY don’t want to be helpful here. It kinda makes us seasick when people ask us for legitimate advice. But when a friend of the website, Garrett Robinson, asked if I could help him with Vlog (for the uninitiated that means: “a vagina log”), I said fine. But only if he paid me in […]

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My Kid Just Said… #51

Posted by on July 16th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“I gonna lay off food for a while.” -Lucas (2014, 5 years old)   Hearing this from my 5-year-old beanpole of a son was a definite “Wait what!?” moment. You see, saying “going to” implies that one isn’t already doing it. Since birth.   – Previous My Kid Just Said What a kid would do […]

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What It’s Like Being A Parent: Part Four

Posted by on July 15th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

Last week, we talked about getting kids to eat and what that’s like. Or when they try to feed you, which is basically like this: But today, I want to talk about what it’s like trying to protect your newly-minted thingperson from hurting themselves. I’ve talked before about how it feels like my testicle ovaries […]

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My Wife just Said… #169

Posted by on July 14th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Hey, you wanna? [Winks] I’ve been doing lots of Kegels. So I can be like a ninja down there. Not like grab arrows out of the air…” -Elizabeth   I didn’t know whether to feel afraid or aroused, but in any case it’s clear some ninja skills are sexier than others. – Previous “My Wife […]

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