My Wife Just Said… #63
“By the by, did you use the hand towel for your armpits? Yeeeah. Just got a mouthful, so to speak.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
Bad Product Idea #9: KiddleProd Child Motivation Enhancement Utility
[ click the image to enlarge ] Are you tired of how many times you have to ask your child to do or stop doing something, keeping exact count of how many times so they can’t turn around and correct you when you give an inexact guesstimate of how many times you’ve already asked? Are […]
Wrong 101 (Kid Responses to Accusation)
On the journey to teach kids the difference between Right and Wrong, they seem to learn something else you didn’t necessarily intend along the way. All on their own, without any flashcards or kidstructional videos. Wrong 101. They learn the wide and varied rainbow of responses to any accusation or confrontation of Wrongness. Kids learn […]
Ninja Parent Lessons: The Pillow Paw
The average height of a table is 26″-30″ and counters are around 36″. They all have corners and edges that kids’ heads are somehow magnetically drawn to when they’re passing through this height range. As a parent it’s your duty to protect your child. So obviously that includes making sure they don’t bash in their […]
My Kid Just Said… #5
[Seeing his mother dying her hair] “Mommy… does you have poop on you head?” -Lucas (2012, 2 years old) Uhhhhhhh… To a kid: if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it must be a duck. So if it looks like poop… Yeah, Lizzie was wearing a plastic cap […]
My Wife Just Said… #61
“I am the chef. You are the butthead. Now get out of my kitchen.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
The Super Mega PERIOD
Not that kind of “period.” The period that ends a sentence. Or in this case, unleashes armageddon on an entire line of discussion and debate, or backtalk festivals and whiney begging campaigns, in the case of children and politicians. When you’re trying to give a final answer on a subject that won’t seem to end, […]
The Language of Parents
Talking is such an important milestone in raising kids. But having kids, for whatever reason, apparently comes with a cost: your own ability to speak properly. Maybe it’s just my wife and me (I’m only saying that to be generous and polite). I know from conversing with plenty other parents that it’s not just our […]
How to Commit the Perfect Toy Murder
[ click the image to enlarge ] Oh how they sing. Oh how they dance. You gave it as a gift, not knowing any better. Or someone else gave it to your kid, not knowing that it could ultimately make you want to stab pens in your ears or kill yourself. But whatever you […]
Horribly DESPERATE Ways to Nudge Your Lover (The Last of the 50)
WARNING: Use these desperate measures with extreme caution! They’ve got more likelihood of bad side-effects and total backfire than any of the previous suggestions and are used at your own risk. You’ve tried nearly everything to drop an entire bag of clues on your special someone that you need lovies. NEARLY everything. This is […]
