A Teenager’s Bucket List
This is completely true and unaltered and unbelievable. And yet, totally believable. One day a friend of mine went insane and decided to clean up the apocalypse of his fourteen-year-old boy’s room. Amid all the aftermath, he discovered something amazing. And since he’s the type of guy who covers this his son’s toilet bowl opening […]
Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 1
There are a ton of simple, everyday things we just have to pick up on our own. Learning by trial and error or mimicking someone else can be tricky. And result in us doing really stupid things. Even with tickling. For parents of ticklish kids, the act of tickling can be a laughter-filled method of […]
My Wife Just Said… #71
“It’s not that I’m not happy. It’s just that I’d be eeeeeven happier with another baby!” -Elizabeth
The Bee Jay and the Spelling Code of Parents
This is a bee jay. No, folks, it isn’t actually a real species of bird. I created it for you! To begin illustrating a point, and to possibly offer a much-needed way out for any unfortunate parent who’s kid has said something like this: “Whu’s a bee jay wook wike? Daddy must wuvs dem. He […]
Bad Product Idea #10: Peter Pottymouth Proper Pronunciation Wheel
Whether you chuckle or upchuck a little when your little one accidentally swears because of mispronunciation, it’s okay, sheet happens. Rest assured! It’s just part of learning to talk. But now, with the Peter Pottymouth Proper Pronunciation Wheel, you can put rocket boosters on the unfortunately foul-mouthed part of the learning process. Grandma’s poor heart […]
Everything Is Cuter When It’s a Baby
Let’s put on a cutey pageant. The contestants will all be animals, competing against their baby selves. Not puppies and kittens though! Science is already working on harnessing the power of their cuteness as a renewable energy source, so it’s a foregone conclusion that they’re filthy stinking cute. We’ll look at more unsual animals for […]
One Parent’s Trash Is Another Kid’s Treasure
Kids and adults differ on a lot of points. The way they each look at things can be so different that sometimes it defies logic that adults were ever kids themselves. At what point does a penny become just a lame fake-out for a dime when searching your pockets for something to feed a parking […]
My Kid Just Said… #6
[Lucas (3yo) looking at a picture of himself] “Da’s Wucas!” Me: “No, you’re supposed to say ‘that’s me.’” [long pause accompanied by scrunchy nose of disapproval] “No, Daddy! It not yooOooOooOU! It WUCAS!” -Lucas Dad, you sound like you think you know what you’re talking about, but I do not think that you do. I […]
My Wife Just Said… #69
“Yeah? Not if you ever want to see THIS again. Or touch these!” -Elizabeth Before anyone gets all upitty on the topic of sextortion, bear in mind that this was a humorous statement that had the two of us in stitches, and also that it’s also a very effective form of motivation. ““ […]
You Know You’re Getting Old When…
When I was a kid… wait. No no. Not like that. Not like, “When I was a kid I used to walk twelve miles to school carrying my lunch in a block of ice with shoes made of burlap sacks filled with broken glass and rusty nails.” Though I’ll write something that at some point, […]
