9 Things I’d Rather Do Than Hang Out with a Teething Baby
I love my infant son, Arden. Very much. He’s such a fun guy already and we are creating an amazing little bond that grows each day. I love him and his smiles and coos and little poops. He’s such a great baby. But teething can go f*ck itself. It tests everything I have. It turns […]
An Honest Modern-Day Kids’ Fashion Paper Doll
Paper dolls have been around since forever, or the mid-18th century (close enough to forever). Little printed playthings you could cut out and dress up in coordinated outfits, luxurious new fashions, with PAIRS of the same socks and shoes, etc. Pure fantasy. It’s not that anyone who grows up really tires of fantasy and escape. […]
My Wife Just Texted… #161
My phone lit up by my side as I was working late. I read the text and knew it probably meant that the part of my 4yo son’s mind that manufactures nightmares was also working late. I made an awwww face as imagined the little guy stumbling with drowsy desperation to our room, to […]
“The Crack” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old
Having a discussion with your kid about the specifics of words can be priceless, but it’s also difficult. Especially when you’re supposed to be pretending you’re the student and they’re the teacher. And it’s especially especially priceless and difficult when you’re convincing your kid that their butt isn’t broken because it has a crack. Subscribe […]
Parenterms: “Fridgetful”
Parents know that they can often have memory issues, even if they can’t remember exactly how they even know this… uh… what was I saying? Something something… memory issues then… uh… whatever. Must not have been important. Sure, in addition to the fridge, there are tons of other “why the heck did I come here” […]
“Mix” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old
All my sons have “cooked” for me and I totally did this with my mom, too. One of my creations had cat food in it. I think I got off lucky with the things I’ve been bullied with cuteness into tasting. Subscribe to ConvosWith2YrOld to follow the series. (Liking, favoriting and commenting helps videos on […]
My Kid Just Yelled… #47
“No! I can’t be quiet!! I HASTA BE WEALLY, WEALLY WOUD WIGHT NOW!!!” -Lucas (2014, 4.5 years old) Um. Can you say it again in my other ear? The one that’s not bleeding. Or was that just an impression of a velociraptor being tortured while laying an egg? There’s no way around it. You’ve just […]
Beware of Bad Parentexting
The days have passed when VCRs blinked 12:00 as a signal to one and all that technology had gotten ahead of its owner and they didn’t know how to set the clock. Ironically, this is a timeless theme, though. Cavekids probably rolled their eyes under their jutting brows as they watched their parents use a […]
My Wife Just Said… #159
“When they kissed in old movies, it looked like two people fell into each other’s faces and just stopped. And now it looks painful, like they’re trying to eat each other’s faces off.” -Elizabeth Every once in a while my wife and I will turn our heads slowly and exchange looks, in response […]
The Spitty Thumb
Birds do courtship dances without a single lesson. A spider knows how to spin a web without ever having seen one. In much the same way (except not as nasty as spiders), I believe the Spitty Thumb is an action pattern that’s genetically coded into parents. It has its stimulus. Kids. They’re absolute schmutz and […]
