My Wife Just Texted… #175
My wife is so considerate. She’s always so polite and dainty like a Victorian lady twirling a parasol. Unless she happens to be wrestling a particularly stubborn pickle jar or battery compartment, then she’s more like a sailor-mouthed ex-con with anger management issues. But mostly it’s pinkies out and poots in private. Too cute. Regarding […]
10 Ways Not To Use A Baby Carrier
Babywearing and parents go together like apples and cheese. Wait, is that only me? It’s a thing, I promise. Anyway, wearing babies is not only an amazing, comfortable way to be mobile with your bundle of boy or girl, it’s also fashion forward. Or forward facing, if you will. But you have to do a […]
My Kid Just Said… #55
“Daddy? How does Dark Vader eat?” -Lucas (2014, 5 years old) To answer your question: the Disney store. That’s where we got these ridiculously amazing PJs. (ALSO IT HAS A TINY DETACHABLE CAPE!) There he stood, my little Dark Vader in his new PJs. My feelings were conflicted at first, the wincing inner nerd […]
TODDLER BINGO! Because Parents Deserve to Win Something
The thing about playing Bingo is that you’re going to go through an epic crap ton of numbers before anyone hits five in a row. The same is true for Toddler Bingo. Parents will experience a vast array of toddlerisms before they hit the jackpot. Refusing to eat something, wanting to eat things they shouldn’t, […]
Artist Grows Up and Recreates His Own Drawings 2 Decades Later
For most kids, drawings turn out a bit abstract… Heck! I can call them crappy here since it’s just us adults, right? We’ll soften the word and call them “crapstract” art. They’re adorable, sure, but raise your hand if your kid has ever handed over a picture they drew for you, that you had absolutely […]
Bad Product Idea #15: Moldi-Pet
Some kids like to take baths, some absolutely DO NOT, but ALL kids can agree on playing! They love it. Until they get bored of it, of course. Now you can have a tub toy that changes with your child’s fleeting interest: Moldi-Pet, forming fuzzy spots and furry freckles before your very eyes. Mold is […]
My Wife just Said… #173
“Your laptop is so filthy, you look homeless… except for the fact that homeless people don’t usually have laptops.” -Elizabeth I fully admit it. It’s kinda true. Sure, I’ve got screen cleaner and wipes and a great joke about how my laptop is a “hipster,” but… still. I’d invest heavily in a company that […]
Dad Cat Teaches Kittens How to Fight
The first rule of cat fight club is you do not talk about cat fight club. But, whatever your feelings are on cats, I had to share this, it’s just too cute. Happy World Cat Day! Whoa. What’s this now? No no no. Here lemme show you… Like this… Remember […]
Parent Pro Tip: Reacting
Some people fail to realize that when they’re dealing with a kid, they’re dealing with an attention-addicted little human who’s most prized dealers of attention are adults. For a kid, a simple chuckle from Mom and Dad can be like an epic slow clap in a packed stadium. However, young kids don’t quite grasp the […]
My Kid Just TEXTED… #53
The first “text” my youngest son sent me looked more like someone poured water on my wife’s phone. This was the first text exchange with my youngest son, Lucas, 5 years old. Well… the first one that made sense. Sort of. My two older boys were already learning advanced math when they got their phones, […]
