10 Insider Tips for Playing with Kids

Posted under NOTEBOOK

Here are some tips and warnings for parents signing up for the full-contact, mind-bending sport known as Playing. I’ve added 6-second videos to each point to demonstrate more fully humorously. You can turn the sound on and off in the lower-left of each video. (Some of these get a bit festive, so you may want […]



My Kid Just Said… #58

Posted under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“Did you know I like you more than my iPad?” -Finn (2015, 5 years old)   I mean, that’s fair. Right? If only there were ways to measure true love from our kids. This is as close as I’m gonna get, I think. How have your kids expressed their love for you? A photo posted […]



My Wife Just Said… #197

Posted under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[ To our 5yo son ] “It is Daddy’s birthday today, but no he’s not turning 10. Well… it just seems like he’s 10 years old.” -Elizabeth   It’s my vaginal-launch anniversary today. However, since Monday isn’t the most convenient day to celebrate a birthday or… well, anything… I spent the past weekend having various […]



NSFW: Dad Nails Parenting

Posted under SNAPSHOTS

I’ve been seeing this make the rounds on all the normal internet avenues. Who knows if it’s true. I don’t really care either way. The sentiment, however, is truer than true. It’s fatherhood, itself. You don’t have to be a 6’3″ ex-navy seal to demonstrate masculinity. Embarrassment comes in a lot of colors and flavors. […]



5 Annoying Pieces of Parenting Advice

Posted under NOTEBOOK

1. Arguing With Your Kid? DON’T ARGUE WITH THEM It’s so true. Maybe we could apply this same advice to achieve world peace? It’s not like we’re tired, hungry, burnt out, and exasperated. Right? 2. Kid Won’t Eat? JUST MAKE THEM EAT Also applicable: if they eat it five times they’ll keep eating it. Picky […]



“Shopping” : Convos With My 4-Year-Old

Posted under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Every parent that takes their youngling out and about, no matter the age, has probably suffered from Post Tantrum Stress Disorder. You would have bet a Bugatti that they weren’t anywhere near the corner of hungry and tired. You totally thought that nap did the trick. You almost couldn’t believe the plate wasn’t part of […]



Dying Dreams

Posted under NOTEBOOK

He’s running motionless, his little legs seeming to slip backward, toward the monster he’s feverishly trying to escape. It’s not real. He’s standing at the jagged edge of a murderous cliff, an evil wind ripping at his Darth Vader pajamas, pulling him over. It’s not real. They’re just dreams. His nightmares. ““ The other night […]



8 Bit Cinema: Guardians of the Galaxy

Posted under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

I really enjoyed Guardians of the Galaxy. Like, a lot. The parent feels, amazing comedy and incredible effects blew my mind. But some of us don’t have time to get to a theater, let alone spend more than two hours there. You’re in luck, time-poor parents. We found an 8-bit version and it’s phenomenal. Enjoy! […]



Ninja Parent Lessons The Drunken Cobra

Ninja Parent Lessons: The Drunken Cobra

Posted under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

A baby can be like a drunken cobra, that is they would be, if snakes had a habit of irresponsibly drinking way too much sake and then going on a rampage. A baby’s finger and toe nails are sharper than samurai swords, and their coordination and aim? Worse than a government’s. Wobbly and unpredictable, an […]