I can’t stand it when it’s hot. I hate it. I get irritable, weak, headachy, swampy and dumb. Ironically, I was born and raised in L.A. (not exactly one of the chilliest parts of the world), but I’m half English and half Russian body-wise. Genes definitely trump “where you grew up.” Toss a penguin egg […]
[ click the image to enlarge ] It’s never the normal, standard-issue things that we need preparation for. It’s the freaky, unexpected and unknown things that terrorize us and really would have been nice to know about beforehand. What most new parents lose a large percentage of their mind about is simply not […]
“What is that thing on your face, Daddy!?!” is what I hear my son, Lucas, thinking every time he comes at the camera I’m shooting him with. It’s got buttons, lights and it makes curious noises from time to time. And I put it up to my face. How could I blame him for […]
[ click the image to enlarge ] If the inventor of Lil’ Chompers Baby Dentures were a real person and not just the hypothetical creator of a fictional bad product concept we created to entertain you, then at one point he probably became preoccupied with thoughts of how awful it would be to have […]
This may not be about what you think. It does not refer to making love to your wife without her even knowing it or using smoke bombs and rappelling ropes to liven up your marriage. This is about the art of slipping undetected into a bed with a sleeping wife or wife and baby. To […]
“My farts go faster than this guy! My GOD! Go around him already!” – Elizabeth
It’s well-known that Rednecks dominate the cultural landscape of a good part of America. Notice I didn’t say “better”… But did you know that rednecks also inhabit Canada? Yep, the capital of beavers and bad beer, Canadia itself is home to its own brand of hick-ified yokels. Today’s “Instructional Diagram” has been custom-designed for and […]
I love being weird. And I love how weird my family is. I love my wife snatching my hand while I’m driving to use my finger as a microphone while lip-syncing to Barbra Streisand. Or when she says to me “Chocky wocky ‘n’ pom pom?” The fact that I know exactly what she means makes […]
[ click the image to enlarge ] The American Indians used to say: to see the tracks of an animal is to see its life. To know its day. And, at some point along the trail, to know what it had for breakfast. Okay. I just completely made that up, but it sounds really […]
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