[Answers cell phone] “You’re giving me away! Ha ha! I’m playing Hide and Seek with the little one! Your ring is giving me away! He’s coming…” [click] -Elizabeth Totally didn’t mind that hang up. My bad! In other related news, a Japanese professor is actually campaigning for Hide and Seek to be added to […]
So, we made a simple diagram as a joke. Though we meant it in good fun, it is now obvious to us the baby zombie apocalypse is upon us… THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU, BARBARA. THEY ARE COMING FOR ALL OF US. BEWARE! Happy Friday! ““ Follow us on Facebook. Facebook innoculates against Zombies attacks. Promise-ish. […]
They’ll pay you compliments and pour on the affection. They’ll make promises or deals. They’ll even resort to tormented begging and pouty threats. When it’s bedtime, kids’ll try nearly anything for that precious five more minutes.* * “five more minutes” is defined here in the sense that children use it: until the child passes out […]
From the moment the pee on a pregnancy stick says “yes, the gleam in his eye has met the speck in her tummy,” we start the process of wondering how big the little one actually is in there. Through all the weeks, months and trimesters. So, we find fetal size references that make a woman’s […]
I’ve heard some doozies in my day, but this one takes the cake… This notable YouTuber put up a video with his son titled “3 year old BONER…Hilarious!!!” and I wonder how staged it was. Oh, kids. They do say some amazing things, but this one is on the verge though this video is basically […]
So little is presently understood about the anatomy and physiology of stuffed animals. Advances in the subject have for a very long time been stifled by the social sigma placed on anyone who dissects toys or stuffed animals; branding them as “emotionally unstable” or “weird.” Thankfully, progress is now being made. Let’s have an amazing […]
Ms. Cyrus, You don’t know us. We are dads over the age of seventeen, and as such we do not represent your target demographic although we are in the midst of raising some of your constituents. We (still here), unfortunately, are more or less invisible. That is on society, not you. However, our children, assuming […]
Loud and mercurial, my son is a blurry shade of all-over-the-damn-place on the plastic play structure of a park we’ve never visited before. He stomps and cheers, climbs and slides. He is my One Man Army. And I am not embarrassed for him. It’s part of what makes him so great. But children can be […]
Sometimes my wife makes me feel like the prettiest lil’ husband. I oughta put on something special for her tonight. Gender roles can be as fun as panties can be comfy. ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Toddlers are a little nutty about eating. Sometimes bribing is necessary. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best […]
“My bwood is still awake.” -Lucas (4 years old) Uhhhhhhh… Your what? Your BLOOD? It’s still awake? Oh… … … good?* * I can’t bring myself to tell him the it’s bedtime for his blood. Way too creepy. Shhhhhh… don’t wake his blood. They’ll say anything to get out of going to bed, […]
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