NOTEBOOK
Commentary, experiments, failures (more often than not) and experiences in the field.
Two Beds, or Not Two Beds…
Two beds, or not two beds, that is the question. To sleep separately, perchance to dream… I’m a side sleeper. At least that’s how I fall asleep. Apparently the way I land and spend the rest of the night is a more varied and active endeavor. Lizzie has informed me repeatedly that I actually sleep […]
Brain Failure on Aisle 9!
When I go shopping, something happens. I enter some magical space-time distortion, where time oozes and store aisles and racks shift around like the stairs at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, along with accompanying little goblins that move around the products I’m looking for in some kind of demonic three-card monte of retail. The […]
The Legend of The Guy
This isn’t just a story about family fun and injury at a maximum-security roller skating rink. This transcends mere storytelling. It is a timeless tale, one where we simply served as honored witnesses to a legend. The Guy. The Fortress of Roller Skating When Max and Cody and I pulled up to the brick […]
Beating the Heat, Beating it with a Stick Until it Stops Moving
I can’t stand it when it’s hot. I hate it. I get irritable, weak, headachy, swampy and dumb. Ironically, I was born and raised in L.A. (not exactly one of the chilliest parts of the world), but I’m half English and half Russian body-wise. Genes definitely trump “where you grew up.” Toss a penguin egg […]
Being a Ninja in the Bedroom
This may not be about what you think. It does not refer to making love to your wife without her even knowing it or using smoke bombs and rappelling ropes to liven up your marriage. This is about the art of slipping undetected into a bed with a sleeping wife or wife and baby. To […]
Crappiest Father’s Day Gift Top Ten Finalists: VOTE NOW!
This week’s Dad-Miration Week Contest was pretty successful by our standards. Honestly, we were thinking it would be “crappy” just like the gifts people were describing… But it wasn’t! You guys came out and shared your stories. Without further ado, here are the finalists. We will reveal your winner Sunday! So, let’s get this voting […]
Dad-miration Week: Father Flying / Contest Announcement
Father’s Day is not, in fact, just one day, as the “media” would have you believe. It is a week-long celebration of dads, rivaled only by Mardi Gras. But instead of boobs and screaming, there’s… actually that’s right too, boobs and screaming. We’re calling it DAD-MIRATION WEEK…* Make sure to check out the shameless promotion […]
Boogers. That’s right. Boogers.
Sugar free? Fat free? Packed with protein? Move over, bananas. Nature’s got a new perfect food! It seems like every kid is just wired from birth to pick their boogers and eat them. C’mon. At least once! But probably about a hundred times more than once. The fact that we adults have “all done it,” […]
The Call of Nature!
The older boys, Max and Cody, and I headed out for a hike on the weekend. About 5 minutes in, the blazing eye of the sun microwaving my neck reminded me that I didn’t bring any sunscreen. But, as I explained to Lizzie later (as she applied aloe), there is a difference between forgetfulness or […]
7 Tips for Sleep-Deprived Insomniacs
Insomnia is one of the most perverted jokes life can play on parents who are getting horrible sleep. It’s like getting nauseated at the sight of food even though you’re starving to death. Cruel are the hours, with the little one asleep at last, when all is quiet and dark and you find yourself in […]
