NOTEBOOK
Commentary, experiments, failures (more often than not) and experiences in the field.
WOMEN’S EDITION! 50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 3 of 5)
WARNING: Don’t be mad at me. I was told by very persistent sex-deprived women to post this for them! Women also need to drop a clue to their men that they’re in the mood for love. The washing machine set to a feverish spin cycle can only see a girl so far, and can […]
50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 2 of 5)
WARNING: The suggestions in this series are not recommended for couples with any special medical conditions or for anyone without a sense of humor. Please also note that if you try any of these, in addition to encouraging sex, it may also result in the end of your relationship, marriage or life. Here we go […]
50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 1 of 5)
WARNING: Some of this is naughty and crude “” but along with being romantic and amazing, sex can be naughty and crude. If you doubt that, have your lover hold a mirror up so you can see your own face the next time you have an orgasm. So, please don’t get all faint-of-heart or […]
BEWARE: Cartoons Are Loaded with Lies
Cartoons are loaded with animals. They’re also loaded with lies! It’s true. Uh… I mean it’s true about the lying part, that there are lies. Anyway! Kids’ books, animated shows, toys, breakfast cereal boxes, restaurant activity mats, you name it, they are all filled with breathtaking inaccuracies about the Wild Kingdom. “So what,” right? We […]
Lives Flashing Before Your Eyes
They say when you have a near death experience, your life flashes before your eyes. I’ve never had that. Don’t mistake my meaning though, I’ve had near death experiences aplently. Hair standing on end, mouth flooded with the metallic taste of adrenaline, testicles making an emergency evacuation up inside my body. Yes. But never the […]
Gimme My Boobies Back!
The Boob Decision Moms tend to be beautiful, near-magical creatures. But when it comes down to a heated breastfeeding debate, sometimes we’re left with just the creature part. But this isn’t about that, we’ll leave that one to better writers who are actually women. Mothering.com ran a design contest for a universally recognizable symbol for […]
Schmoopy McNicknamerson
It’s probably not a good idea. Eh. BUT I HAVE TO DO IT! I’ll tell you my crime if you promise to hear my shameless excuse. Deal? Deal! Here it is. I am a bit of a cheesy, silly nickname-oholic. Especially with my kids. There! I said it. “My dad calls it ‘treating me like […]
Dreams Are Boring To Everyone But Yourself
After the little one is silent, when the caffeine has worn off, sleep finally shows up fashionably late to the party. Sometimes it brings dreams along with it, and when it’s feeling particularly rowdy, it’ll invite along a nightmare. I had a terrible one last night. I won’t bore you with the full details, because […]
Mad Science, Potions and Cat Food
My son, Lucas, recently reminded me of something from my own childhood. Though oddly, something has happened to a lot of these memories of being a kid since having kids. The perspective of parenthood can shed a really different, very bright light on memories. My parents gave me a very free hand as a kid. […]
Ass-kicking Staches
This is not a ’70s buddy cop show. Charlie and Andy have embarked on growing ass-kicking Movember mustaches. Who could argue with the statement that cancer needs its ass kicked? My Mustache’s the Only Abnormal Growth Here by Charlie Capen My wife won’t look me in the eye. My son dry heaves upon seeing […]
