NOTEBOOK
Commentary, experiments, failures (more often than not) and experiences in the field.
The Textrix Has You, Neo
My son was huddled over the glow of his phone, chuckling madly. PARENTAL RED ALERT! Apparently an anonymous admirer was texting him. It was impossible for me not to be immediately suspicious and picture some really hairy 40-year-old dude in a pink tutu on other side of the text thread, trying to get at my […]
Ruining Baby Names, One Suggestion at a Time
“Hey!!! How about [name that you will now probably not choose because I just suggested it].” When you start telling people you’re having a baby, certain things are going to inevitably happen. It’s like a chain reaction that is as certain and frothy as dropping a sleeve of Mentos headlong into a bottle of Diet […]
Judging a Book by its Cover
Sometimes you experience moments of pride in your kids. Sometimes those moments keep going, take a sudden turn, burst through a guardrail and soar off a cliff. So… My sons and I were boys-night-outting it on a bit of a blind date with a recommended restaurant. Our chuckling conversation kind of skidded out when we […]
Types of Facebooking
There are all kinds of ways a person can Facebook. Knowing about them is not only really unimportant, it may be completely useless. But if it has a chance of being at all entertaining, I’m going to write about it. For those of you that are wondering what this has to do with parenting… wait… […]
Your New Name
Guess which one is a parent who just heard a kid call out? Chances are high you were born and given a name. Maybe you’ve even repeated the process yourself, and now have a kid of your own. So, now you’re a dad or a mom. You’ve got a new name now, even before you’re […]
Our First Day of High School
Me at age 12. Look at how much I adored school. (Click to look closer at the love.) Why would I say this was our first day of High School, you ask? You came to the right person! I mean me. Anyways, you see, I never went to High School. Not one day. I left […]
Her Lipstick
I found something. A few days ago I was rifling through some rarely-opened filing cabinets, looking for something; something boring enough that I forgot about it the second I opened up a folder that was bloated with odd, crinkled contents. Memories beamed out at me. Cards from my kids in brightly-colored construction paper, saved scribbles […]
The Bee Jay and the Spelling Code of Parents
This is a bee jay. No, folks, it isn’t actually a real species of bird. I created it for you! To begin illustrating a point, and to possibly offer a much-needed way out for any unfortunate parent who’s kid has said something like this: “Whu’s a bee jay wook wike? Daddy must wuvs dem. He […]
You Know You’re Getting Old When…
When I was a kid… wait. No no. Not like that. Not like, “When I was a kid I used to walk twelve miles to school carrying my lunch in a block of ice with shoes made of burlap sacks filled with broken glass and rusty nails.” Though I’ll write something that at some point, […]
The Bee Whisperer
Watching our toddler flit from flower to flower like a giddy garden gnome stalking the little flying honey-makers, Lizzie and I have exchanged many a stressed look and repeated, “Why bees? Why did it have to be bees!” Bees have been a wealth of lessons so far for Lucas (3yo). Lessons about nature, dependence, purpose, […]
