NOTEBOOK
Commentary, experiments, failures (more often than not) and experiences in the field.
Pain
Pain. It can remind us we’re alive. And it can also steal a little bit of that aliveness away. I’m sitting, right now, in a surgery wing and my infant son is about to go under the knife. Something we thought would go away has only gotten worse. It’s time to confront it. And hopefully, […]
Sunrise or Sunset?
Parents, there will be days when you may misremember which day it is. You will put your socks on backwards and wear clothing inside-out, from rise to fall. You will click your car key at your front door, half-expecting it to open before you. You will forget your children’s names, your spouse’s name and maybe […]
What It’s Like Being a Parent: Part One
My non-parent friends often ask me what it’s like to have children. I usually answer with something sarcastic or sentimental. Or both, just to confuse them. Because screw them and their “free will.” But I’ve decided it’s time I let them in on my life as a dad. In this continuing series, I will journey […]
9 Things I’d Rather Do Than Hang Out with a Teething Baby
I love my infant son, Arden. Very much. He’s such a fun guy already and we are creating an amazing little bond that grows each day. I love him and his smiles and coos and little poops. He’s such a great baby. But teething can go f*ck itself. It tests everything I have. It turns […]
Storming the Beaches
Another installment from my Instagram account, @CharlieCapen where I capture thoughts, and release them back into the ether of Instagram. But mainly, it’s a journal for my two boys. Typos are free of charge. “Finn: Today we woke at 6:30am and drove to the beach to see what answers we could find. Just the two […]
For Parents: How To Make a SexTape
In this very modern internet age, we find ourselves compelled to write headlines and dive headlong into topics we mightn’t have penetrated previously. Today, I am THAT guy. I’m going to reveal something about myself you probably you would never have guessed, something so crude it probably never crossed your mind: I have never made […]
The Third First Day at School
My youngest son just had his first day at school. As it turned out, it was so much easier for him than it was for us. You’d think it’d be no big deal, Lucas being my third son, with my two older boys having been in school for nearly a decade. Nope. You’d be wrong. […]
A Few Things I Want for my Birthday
Hey Everyone, It’s my birthday today and since I’m feeling supermegafugging selfish, I thought I would make today’s post all about me. Why? Because I said so. Because it’s my birthday. Deal with it. Today I wanted to ask you guys for a few things. And since it’s my birthday, you’ll listen. Right? ITEM #1: […]
5 Parenting Lessons from ‘Bill & Ted’
It’s no secret that, like, we’re one of the most helpful and totally masterful websites when it comes to non-heinous parenting. People constantly come up to Andy and I begging for the epic secrets to being the raddest dads of all time. We usually just keep walking with our sunglasses on and earbuds in. Dudes, […]
Everyone Is Born Blind
I always noticed that when my sons first started out coloring, whether it was their own mutated blobs, coloring books or plain ol’ restaurant place mats, they’d always use the wackiest shades to color in things and people. What they laid to page was as random as the course taken by a drop of water. […]
