Breastfeeding…
Photo by: Daughter of the Sun Um, so… We don’t know exactly what’s going on here, but we’re pretty sure it involves breastfeeding. And that it’s all natural. Maybe too natural? Or something. Sorry, I was looking at the photo again. Um… Anyway, we didn’t put a punchline or caption specifically so you could come […]
New Hazard Signs for Parents
Anything in life is dangerous. Parenting is no exception, in fact, it’s more like a lens that magnifies danger by a factor of a bazillion. For those of you not familiar with the numeric value of a “bazillion,” just know that it’s about three quarters of a double infinity. Don’t worry! We’re not trying to […]
Mad Science, Potions and Cat Food
My son, Lucas, recently reminded me of something from my own childhood. Though oddly, something has happened to a lot of these memories of being a kid since having kids. The perspective of parenthood can shed a really different, very bright light on memories. My parents gave me a very free hand as a kid. […]
My Wife Just Said… #37
“Oh God! Gimme your water! Ow! Potato chip shrapnel going down my throat!” -Elizabeth
The Calories Burned by Parenting
It’s the holidays. Yay! We’ve all been double-fisting massive quantities of amazing food into our faces. Waistbands are beginning to groan in protest of the holiday splurging. Maybe some of us have nursed our guilt hangovers with super-protein-food-green-substance drinks, or spritzes of vinaigrette instead of avalanches of blue cheese dressing, it doesn’t matter. You get […]
Ass-kicking Staches
This is not a ’70s buddy cop show. Charlie and Andy have embarked on growing ass-kicking Movember mustaches. Who could argue with the statement that cancer needs its ass kicked? My Mustache’s the Only Abnormal Growth Here by Charlie Capen My wife won’t look me in the eye. My son dry heaves upon seeing […]
Part Deuce! Types of Diaper Loads
[ click the image to enlarge ] Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Of course, we’re going to do an Instructional Diagram about poop before the biggest eating holiday on Earth. We’re dads. Which means we’re men who are in the possession of babies. Do the math. It all equals poop jokes. We always knew […]
Shaving without Scaring the Kids
A major change to your hair, head or facial, is one of the fastest, most dramatic alterations to the way you look. Especially when you’ve had it a certain way for a long time and then toss a high-yield grenade of change at it. It can be very startling for others, especially your kids. So, […]
Godzilla vs. Baby
[ click the image to enlarge ] Consider this a crash course in emergency preparedness for expectant parents, or a badge of acknowledgement for those parents who’ve already made it through. Also, if there does actually happen to be an attack on your city from a giant monster born of atomic testing, know that […]
