Baby Teeth & Other Ferocious Fangs
[ click the image to enlarge ] New baby teeth are such a fake out. As a parent, you suffer so much for those little things to come in, so when they do, you almost want to do backflips, build a bonfire and set off fireworks. Maybe we’re talking about me at this point, but […]
Jedi Baby
When I was a kid, I knew this wise old man who was very into mystical Eastern philosophy. I didn’t really have a clue what that even meant beyond the little education I’d received from TV shows and movies. Which should basically tell you I wasn’t just dumb as a rock on the subject, I […]
The Black Hole Zone of Cribs, Car Seats & Stollers
[ click the image to enlarge ] Before you have kids, it doesn’t seem possible you could lose much in a crib, car seat or stroller. They’re just a frame with bars and a frilly mattress, a cushioned bucket with a test-pilot’s buckling system and an over-sized folding chair on wheels covered by fabric. None […]
WOMEN’S EDITION! 50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 3 of 5)
WARNING: Don’t be mad at me. I was told by very persistent sex-deprived women to post this for them! Women also need to drop a clue to their men that they’re in the mood for love. The washing machine set to a feverish spin cycle can only see a girl so far, and can […]
Ninja Parent Lessons: The Scissor Kiss
Ninjas have long known that the skill of being able to kill someone with one arm tied behind their back was a worthy achievement. For parents, this level of skill can become useful in the task of keeping someone ALIVE with an arm tied behind your back. Most people don’t realize that the ancient art […]
My Wife Just Said… #53
“Stop dancing. I love this song and you actually just punched my hand.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
Baby Fingernails & Other Deadly Edged Weapons
[ click the image to enlarge ] Baby fingernails are so sharp they make razor blades seem like warm gummy bears in comparison. If you’ve got kids, you’ve probably experienced the sudden sizzling pain of your baby’s nails accidentally giving you inexpert plastic surgery. You’ve probably heard this phrase before, “Ooooo. What happened to your […]
Bad Product Idea #8: Kid Freshener
Babies smell like fairies and edible flowers. Show me the person who figures out how to bottle the magical spell of baby-scent and I’ll show you someone who will soon be rich enough to buy an island, just to store fan mail. It’s like your nose died and went to heaven. Unfortunately, just like a […]
My Wife Just Said… #51
“What did you do to make me worry, you ask? You don’t need to do anything, my head does it all for you.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 2 of 5)
WARNING: The suggestions in this series are not recommended for couples with any special medical conditions or for anyone without a sense of humor. Please also note that if you try any of these, in addition to encouraging sex, it may also result in the end of your relationship, marriage or life. Here we go […]
