The “Uh” Scale of Men
Even if we never really think about it, we all know words can mean different things by the way they’re said. Don’t believe me? Okayyyyyyy. See? Not only did I acknowledge your response, I also said, “How many times were you dropped on your head as a child, you moron.” I’m not sure why nobody […]
Men Simulating Childbirth, Always a Bad Idea
WARNING: THIS POST MAY CONTAIN DISTURBING FOOLISHNESS AND GROWN MAN MOANING Video footage of women in labor can be unsettling or disturbing to some, the same is true of footage of two cocky, Dutch guys trying to experience the miracle of childbirth by having electrodes strapped to their abs and simulating two hours […]
My Wife Just Said… #108
“Do I look like I’m dead when I sleep?” [Outrageous laughter] [Silence…] “So, do I?” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”Thank you crappy drivers. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to stay connected to us.
Gummy Bears Have Hearts… and Spleens. And Kidneys?
People haven’t been listening. The Gummy Bear population is close to moving from classification as a yummy species to an endangered one. They are being wiped out. Eaten into extinction. Gummy bears have hearts, too. And all the other parts. And organs. And veins. And, yeah… okay kinda gross. Is the room starting to spin? […]
Crust: A Child’s Natural Enemy
As parents, attempting to feed your kids good food (or any food) can be an endless, nerve-wracking journey through Internet articles and grocery store aisles. For all the warnings and alerts out there, there exists a serious danger not posted online or on any package. A dietary risk to your child as unsettling as sugar […]
My Wife Just Said… #106
“It’s not my fault. Potato chips are addicted to me, I’m not addicted to them.” [Crunch] -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”There’s lost and then there’s lost-lost. Know the difference. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to stay connected to us.
I Call Bullshhhhh…
I call bulls**t! Whenever I see something impossible like this, that’s my immediate reaction. Maybe not always out loud, but sometimes definitely out and plenty loud. I’ve been fooled too many times by the Internet, and before that, by television and film when I was a kid.* * Do you like how I’m making it […]
My Wife Just Said… #105
“You want to know where I put it? Hmmmm… I’m not sure. Somewhere! At least we know I put it somewhere.” -Elizabeth ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…”Paging Doctor Mommy. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to stay connected to us.
Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 3 (Advanced)
I want you to know that I risk my life sharing this shadowy Eastern warrior wisdom with you. Not just because I’m continuously risking assassination from ninjas seeking silent but deadly (not that kind) revenge for broadcasting their proprietary trade secrets, but also because I can be life-threateningly ticklish myself. The next shave I get […]
Take a Stroll with Me (A Wedding Poem)
I know it’s not Shakespeare or Poe. Worse than that, I know it’s basically crappy High School poetry that should have stars and hearts penciled in around its margins, and I’ve resisted an itching temptation to edit it or improve it before sharing it, but I can’t. It’s my poetry, for my wife, and that […]
