Author: Andy

My Kid Just Said

My Kid Just Said… #29

Posted under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“I married to Mommy.” No no, being married is when a boy and a girl meet and decide to spend the rest of their lives together. “Yes… I married to Mommy.” -Lucas (4 years old) Touché, kid. Tou-friggin-ché. Go get me a tissue, will ya? ““ Previous My Kid Just Said Blood keeps your kid […]



My Wife Just Said...

My Wife Just Said… #125

Posted under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[Answers cell phone] “You’re giving me away! Ha ha! I’m playing Hide and Seek with the little one! Your ring is giving me away! He’s coming…” [click] -Elizabeth   Totally didn’t mind that hang up. My bad! In other related news, a Japanese professor is actually campaigning for Hide and Seek to be added to […]



Daddy Vader

Daddy Vader Says… Bedtime

Posted under SNAPSHOTS

They’ll pay you compliments and pour on the affection. They’ll make promises or deals. They’ll even resort to tormented begging and pouty threats. When it’s bedtime, kids’ll try nearly anything for that precious five more minutes.* * “five more minutes” is defined here in the sense that children use it: until the child passes out […]



Teddy Bear Surgery

Posted under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

So little is presently understood about the anatomy and physiology of stuffed animals. Advances in the subject have for a very long time been stifled by the social sigma placed on anyone who dissects toys or stuffed animals; branding them as “emotionally unstable” or “weird.” Thankfully, progress is now being made. Let’s have an amazing […]



My Wife Just Texted

My Wife Just Texted… #123

Posted under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Sometimes my wife makes me feel like the prettiest lil’ husband. I oughta put on something special for her tonight. Gender roles can be as fun as panties can be comfy. ““ Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Toddlers are a little nutty about eating. Sometimes bribing is necessary. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best […]



My Kid Just Said

My Kid Just Said… #28

Posted under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“My bwood is still awake.” -Lucas (4 years old)   Uhhhhhhh… Your what? Your BLOOD? It’s still awake? Oh… … … good?* * I can’t bring myself to tell him the it’s bedtime for his blood. Way too creepy.   Shhhhhh… don’t wake his blood. They’ll say anything to get out of going to bed, […]



Embrace Life Video

Embrace Up

Posted under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

I debated with myself about sharing this since its been around for so long and been seen by so many people. The fact that it’s sooooooo brilliant and that I lose my sh*t every time I see it changed my mind. It belongs here. Also, recently a friend showed me a scar. It wasn’t on […]