My Wife DIDN’T Just Say… #215
[wife’s ringtone plays] Me: “Heeeeyyyyy, sexy pants.” My 5yo son: “Daddy?” Me: [coughs] “Oh hey there, little guy!” ““Lucas (aka Not My Wife) The phone can no longer be trusted, I have no assurances it’s actually going to be my wife anymore. Even during a school day I now have to wonder, maybe he left […]
What if You Could Talk to Your 12-Year-Old Self?
If you could talk to your younger self, what would you say? And since childhood memories can get a little fuzzy, what would you ask? I get the idea that my younger self might just stare at me in wonder before telling me to shave my beard and ease off on the donuts, while older […]
The Crazy Ways Kids Rename Things (30+ Pictures)
My son walked up to me recently and asked me where the “burger shovel” was. After I was done chuckling, I asked him what he needed a spatula for. He answered, “I need your s-spaatuulaa for my pretend restaurant.” He said the word like he was taste-testing it for an in-depth Yelp review. Kids are […]
Exposure To & Improper Use of Kid Slang May Result in Brain Damage
Even if we haven’t said them ourselves as parents, we’ve all seen it happen, or know of a horrific story or twelve. Some of us can barely stand hearing them and have vowed solemn oaths to never say them. I’m talking about the slang words kids use today. And that gruesome moment when a mom’s […]
Baby Food Bullying
We’re bummed out. A rad company is being bullied in the media with sensationalistic finger-pointing and it’s starting to remind us of a toddler screaming at a cool toy for no reason. Let us be crystal clear. We’ve been working with Plum Organics to start an online convo about the honest, unfiltered moments of parenting. […]
My Wife Just Said… #213
“Your dog is so cute! It’s scary how cute your dog is.” -Elizabeth We were strolling along the shops and restaurants of the main street in Old Towne. Suddenly, my wife gasps and my heart does a belly flop, thinking the lad fell or there was a vicious wasp strafing us. Nope. Just a […]
The Sweet Gasping Breaths of Life (3 Amazing Videos)
I like to think I study parenting. Not with books or articles or words and such””the back-and-forth flicking of the eyeballs thingy interferes too much with my naturally vacant stare. No, I study parenting through experience and observation, and from hearing war stories of wrangling the little mini humans into full-sized ones. I’m interested in […]
Parenterms: “Excusplanation”
When something is stuck to a wall or scattered in a million pieces on the floor, or a blubbering sibling is rubbing their head, and you ask a kid what happened? Hah! You’ll hear barely anything (if anything at all) about the sequence of events. Instead, you’ll hear a lot about the philosophical nature of […]
It’s Not Our Fault, Babies Are Just So Squooshable
We can all agree that babies are obscenely cute and squooshy, like little peach-fuzzed plush dolls filled with mini marshmallows, warm unicorn burps and dreams come true. It can be a lot easier to resist breathing than it is to resist squeezing and hugging and cuddling the little pudgy blobs of joy. It’s totally their […]
Hilarious Fake Notes from Kids
As soon as kids are able to string spoken words into tangled sentences, it seems like they’re also already telling tall tales. “Not me!” “I reawwy washeded my hands.” “I no have to go potty!” HAH! Lies. A lot of kids are to fibs what Willy Wonka is to chocolate. Aaaaaaand then the cute little […]
