How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Words

Adorablized Words: A Guide to Kids’ Pronunciation

Posted by on February 17th, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

  Something wonderfully unexpected happened last week. I posted about how my 5yo says pesketti an meapbals, and a crap ton of you shared YOUR OWN kid’s adorablized words. There were so many great examples of how our little kidlets gnaw on the words they’re learning, and spit out their cute, weird or accidentally-vulgar mutations, […]

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Kid Definishons: “Pesketti an Meapbals”

Posted by on February 13th, 2015, under SNAPSHOTS

As his dad, I want my son to become very intelligent, but also as his dad, I won’t really mind if he always calls it pesketti an meapbals. One by one, though, the rough edges of our kids’ cute mispronunciations are sanded down and buffed into the smooth shapes they’re supposed to be. Bwankie becomes […]

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Darkness – Scrabble Scribble #13

Posted by on December 9th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Are you afraid of the dark? Well, maybe you aren’t anymore. Or maybe you are. Maybe it’s only after you watch a pea-soup-splosion like the Exorcist or some nutty mind job like The Ring. That movie had me doing heebie-jeebie leaps onto the bed for a couple months, y’know, in case some broken-nailed hand tried […]

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Parenterms: “Grayllow”

Posted by on November 19th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

When “off white” is so far off that it has entered the whiteness relocation program and changed its name, it has probably changed its name to Grayllow. With any article of clothing that’s white, or close enough to wind up in the “lights” laundry pile, there’s a certain point when you can’t boil or bleach […]

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Parenterms: “Adultolescence”

Posted by on November 7th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Adolescence refers to a person in the process of developing from a child into an adult, but the idea of what an “adult” is seems to have lost a lot of its former meaning. The more time marches on, the more it seems to skip and moonwalk, and we’re entering an “Age” where men and […]

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My Wife Just Loud Voice Said… #185

Posted by on November 3rd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“That wasn’t yelling, that was loud voice talking.” -Elizabeth   No one wants to feel like the crappiest parent ever, but you’d think parents adored feeling that way if you judged by how often we seem to go to there. In raising kids, sometimes the pressure mounts, nerves get frayed, limits get hit, and we […]

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A Guide to Kid Fibs (Illustrated)

Posted by on July 22nd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

The rad people at The Honest Company helped us bring you this post because DUH, honesty is the best policy.   Kids are little lying sacks of giggles. It doesn’t mean they’re evil or you’ve raised them wrong — they seem to learn it automatically, like breathing, apparently. There are all kinds of reasons kids […]

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Juicebag – Scrabble Scribble #9

Posted by on July 8th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

  You’re there. Life is happening to you. You respond. And your kid observes attentively. A reckless automobastard cutting you off for no good reason; a ferocious toy attacking your poor unsuspecting toe; a lengthy support call (that was aaaaaaaaaall call and no support) suddenly dropping off. Occasionally, some dirt hits the kid-filter so hard […]

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“The Crack” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old

Posted by on May 15th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Having a discussion with your kid about the specifics of words can be priceless, but it’s also difficult. Especially when you’re supposed to be pretending you’re the student and they’re the teacher. And it’s especially especially priceless and difficult when you’re convincing your kid that their butt isn’t broken because it has a crack. Subscribe […]

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Properly Not Giving a ####

Posted by on April 17th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

  WARNING: This post contains a lot of swearwords. If that offends you, click here.   Most heroes are too cool to care. (Watch a musical video aid.) Everyone has said they “don’t care” in one way or another at some point or always. It can be used for good, as if to declare emotional […]

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