How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad


A Guide to Kid Fibs (Illustrated)

Posted by on July 22nd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

The rad people at The Honest Company helped us bring you this post because DUH, honesty is the best policy.   Kids are little lying sacks of giggles. It doesn’t mean they’re evil or you’ve raised them wrong — they seem to learn it automatically, like breathing, apparently. There are all kinds of reasons kids […]

Comments: 9

Juicebag – Scrabble Scribble #9

Posted by on July 8th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

  You’re there. Life is happening to you. You respond. And your kid observes attentively. A reckless automobastard cutting you off for no good reason; a ferocious toy attacking your poor unsuspecting toe; a lengthy support call (that was aaaaaaaaaall call and no support) suddenly dropping off. Occasionally, some dirt hits the kid-filter so hard […]

Comments: 2

“The Crack” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old

Posted by on May 15th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Having a discussion with your kid about the specifics of words can be priceless, but it’s also difficult. Especially when you’re supposed to be pretending you’re the student and they’re the teacher. And it’s especially especially priceless and difficult when you’re convincing your kid that their butt isn’t broken because it has a crack. Subscribe […]

Comments: 1

Properly Not Giving a ####

Posted by on April 17th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

  WARNING: This post contains a lot of swearwords. If that offends you, click here.   Most heroes are too cool to care. (Watch a musical video aid.) Everyone has said they “don’t care” in one way or another at some point or always. It can be used for good, as if to declare emotional […]

Comments: 7

An Alphabet According to Kids

Posted by on March 20th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Books and learning products for toddlers and kids can easily give one the idea that our children are being groomed for a future in farming or a jungle expedition. Some of the things chosen to represent the alphabet can be a little random and a lot a bit irrelevant. If you were learning a new […]

Comments: 17

Parenterms: “On Purpaccident”

Posted by on February 26th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Kids do things. Always. Let’s all admit that the mind of a child isn’t a just blank canvas or a field filled with giggling unicorns. It can be a pretty weird place and result in some pretty disastrous things. At a certain point kids start to get the idea that accountability plays into the some […]

Comments: 5

Kid Definishons: “Yesterday”

Posted by on February 21st, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Young kids are about as good at making accurate time references as I am at rolling a ball of water in my hands. When a kid is describing something that happened, parents know that when they say “yesterday” that the word has an elasticity that stretches from a millisecond before now all the way back […]

Comments: 23

Parenterms: “Caughter”

Posted by on January 9th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Uncontrollable laughter happens often when kids are present. They can be very suddenly entertaining. Sure there’s the “spit take.” We’ve all seen it in movies even if we’ve never done it. Something outlandish is said or something outrageous happens and then someone sprays like a geyser in response. It’s funny but a little unrealistic. Especially […]

Comments: 2

Sex Terms Can Be a Total Turnoff

Posted by on January 7th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

I’ve covered how childbirth terms can make you want to puke (view), and how pregnancy terms can make you hide under a tarp (view), but let’s go even earlier, to the very start. The very act that results in babies. Sex. Words have a depth that goes beyond their dictionary definitions. Compare telling a man […]

Comments: 10

Pregnancy Terms Can Make You Hide Under a Tarp

Posted by on November 27th, 2013, under NOTEBOOK

Most medical terms sound hyper-enlightened and mystifying, but are actually based on Latin and Greek words that just meant… the thing that they referred to. What woman is going to let a “student of women” near their vagina, let alone PAY them for it? But that’s what “gynecologist” meant literally in Greek. If you look […]

Comments: 21