How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Words

5 “Parenterms” That Need to Be Real Words

Posted by on October 19th, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Parents make stuff up all the time. To sound like they have even the slightest clue, to shut some situation down or simply because they can’t remember the right thing to say. We need to adapt, improvise and overcome when it comes to raising kids. Taking words and MacGyvering them a little is no different. […]

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10 Made-Up Words Parents Just Might Relate To

Posted by on June 28th, 2018, under SNAPSHOTS

Sometimes it feels like language falls short and we seem to be missing the right word for something. Since parents are masters of making sh*t up as they go, I’ve done just that with these made up words. Parenterms. See what you think! Sadly, there’s no ancient golden treasure hidden in this gross upholstered mobile […]

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4 Parenting Clichés that Need to Go Away

Posted by on April 5th, 2018, under NOTEBOOK

There are expressions and jokes that become common catchphrases, buzzwords or clichés you hear all the flippin time. They can get reeeeeally old, or they just sucked from the very start. They’re like that fart joke your kid told that may have been funny the first time, but after the ensuing hundredth telling (within an […]

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My Kid Just Said… #64

Posted by on September 15th, 2017, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

I like to think of words as ingredients in a sentence or statement. You’ve got your fast-food m’kay’s and Idunno’s, and you’ve got your everyday meals of chit chat, and there’s also the more elaborate culinary creations of deep philosophic discussions and funny stories. Sometimes, though, I like to whip up something a bit spicy. […]

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Cute Girl Has Hilarious Trouble Saying Th*cker

Posted by on May 17th, 2017, under VIDEOTAPE

When kids are little, and just start learning how to speak, you get all sort of priceless pronunciations. They use Ws for Ls, making adorable words like “wittle yewwow wemons.” They smash their Rs or drop them out, so they sound a cutely British when they refer to their “wed wace cahw.” Then there’s the […]

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My Wife Just Swore… #249

Posted by on January 25th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I never swear. Well… rarely. When I do, I usually say ‘motherf**king c**ksucker’.” –Elizabeth   One could easily describe my own speech as “colorful.” I like to think of statements as recipes, and swear words are some of the zestiest ingredients. My wife’s speech tends to be pretty bland as far as cursing is concerned, […]

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The Crazy Ways Kids Rename Things (30+ Pictures)

Posted by on May 27th, 2015, under SNAPSHOTS

My son walked up to me recently and asked me where the “burger shovel” was. After I was done chuckling, I asked him what he needed a spatula for. He answered, “I need your s-spaatuulaa for my pretend restaurant.” He said the word like he was taste-testing it for an in-depth Yelp review. Kids are […]

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Exposure To & Improper Use of Kid Slang May Result in Brain Damage

Posted by on May 22nd, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

Even if we haven’t said them ourselves as parents, we’ve all seen it happen, or know of a horrific story or twelve. Some of us can barely stand hearing them and have vowed solemn oaths to never say them. I’m talking about the slang words kids use today. And that gruesome moment when a mom’s […]

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Parenterms: “Excusplanation”

Posted by on May 12th, 2015, under SNAPSHOTS

When something is stuck to a wall or scattered in a million pieces on the floor, or a blubbering sibling is rubbing their head, and you ask a kid what happened? Hah! You’ll hear barely anything (if anything at all) about the sequence of events. Instead, you’ll hear a lot about the philosophical nature of […]

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Adorablized Words: A Guide to Kids’ Pronunciation

Posted by on February 17th, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

  Something wonderfully unexpected happened last week. I posted about how my 5yo says pesketti an meapbals, and a crap ton of you shared YOUR OWN kid’s adorablized words. There were so many great examples of how our little kidlets gnaw on the words they’re learning, and spit out their cute, weird or accidentally-vulgar mutations, […]

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